Older twin parents - sleeping?

M

moore2014

New member
Y’all were so helpful with my sleeping dilemma for vacation. I’m in need of some more suggestions for sleep.

Long story ahead. I have boy girl twins who are almost 2. We had to split our twins for sleep for several reasons, with great results for all of us. They’ve been separated for over 6 months now. Twin B now sleeps in his own baby proofed room on a mattress on the floor (he climbs out of the crib so he will need at least a toddler bed in any new scenario). twin A sleeps in our room in a pack n play (it was so much easier to console her if she woke up during the night). Fast forward, twin A had tubes put in her ears last week and is now sleeping super well. We have tried to put the 2 of them together for sleep but they just play play play. I have yet to be able to get either one to sleep when they are both in the same room.

We only have a 3 bedroom house and would like to keep a third as a guest room. We live far from family so we don’t want to force them to rent a hotel or Air bnb when they visit. Idk what I can do to get them in the same room again without waking one another up so I’m hoping for some inspiration.

EDIT TO ADD - I am not opposed to “powering through it” but, when we have attempted this, it’s been over an hour and neither twin shows any signs of falling asleep. Even when I go in there when they are clearly ready to go to bed, I can get neither twin to calm down or fall asleep.

I was considering a tent over each of their crib mattresses to provide some separation. We re e fly used covers on their pack n plays on vacation and it worked amazingly well. However we can’t use the pnp’s in their bedroom bc my son will climb in them while they’re not being used. Not exactly safe.
 
@moore2014 Our boys are a few years older now and stay up all hours reading. Is what it is.

When they were yours’ age they would play for a while over their cribs, and the out of their toddler beds. Let them get over the novelty of it and it becomes more and more normal.
 
@moore2014 It might be a "power through it" situation, or maybe you can get a bunk situation. Ours have bunk cribs (1yr) but for climbers that's a risk. Bunk beds are only okay from 4yo I thought. Ours share a room but the bunk makes it so they don't see each other, they only "play" through noises which is fine. The bottom bunk converts to a toddler crib (no sides), we will put a climber in there when we get to that point.
 
@momma7 I was thinking the bunk thing but I couldn’t find anything with high enough sides for the top bed. Can you send a picture of your setup? I’ve never heard of a bunk crib (I’m in the US). Twin A is not a climber so I could possibly get her in the top level without issue.
 
@moore2014 They do! I mention them sometimes and people always reply with "I remember that from church nursery", which is a mumbo jumbo sentence to me because churches here never have a nursery but it may help you find something! How about this? https://www.fafuplay.com/store/c9/NurseryBunkCot#/ maybe there are some facebook groups that offer nursery furniture secondhand, there are loads for kindergarten furniture at least. And let's face it, it's a kindergarten in our houses anyway haha
 
@moore2014 Forever ago I babysat kids that shared a room and it was pretty similar at bedtime.

I decided that we all go in together, they get into bed, I said good night but then stayed in the room and read myself a book or magazine until they fell asleep.

If anyone got up, without words I brought them back to bed and went back to reading. The second you engage either with words or eye contact they know they’ve won and will continue. Only took a few times of me doing this before they just went to bed when I was over.

I was fully prepared to do this with my kids if necessary but didn’t have to
 
@preston354 Yeah I have tried this before. I am constantly chasing kids around the room for an hour. After 3 days of that over Christmas break I decided it wasn’t worth it.
 
@preston354 Of course. As soon as they get laid down, they’re immediately back up again. Whether I say anything or not. Idk if that would change if they were in actual beds (I have had them sleeping on mattresses on the floor bc of my son’s climbing - I didn’t want the temptation there for him to climb the crib walls) or in some other kind of contraption where they can’t see each other
 
@moore2014 If you really need them in the same room long term, I recommend trying to struggle through it now. Maybe try to set up a noticable bedtime routine for them if they don't have one yet (brush teeth, PJs, drink of water, tucked into bed with the lights off kind of thing). Then let them play for several minutes alone. Then go in to remind them it's time to sleep, tuck in again, and leave again maybe (similar to the cry it out method). There are nights that our twins are awake for an extra hour or so chattering with each other (but they've always been in the same room). We also wake them up at about the same time every morning. Best of luck finding something that works for you!
 
@moore2014 I'm a big supporter of them having their own space if possible, but I guess it depends on your plans long term. It only gets harder for them to stay in the same room as they get older if they aren't used to it, so if you plan for them to always stay together powering through may be best. It wont stay shiny but it will involve a LOT of you going in and putting them back in their beds.

If you do plan on them having their own rooms you could definitely make the pack and play room the guest room but that wont be good long term.

You could always do that temporarily until 3/4. At that age they're harder to control bc they 'play' more together, but they also listen and understand better. No real great options, sleep in general with twins is so hard.
 
@moore2014 Are they still napping? The play and play and play was our first time to start cutting naps. When we did that helped. The way we got them to stop getting out of bed is to watch on the baby cam and any time we saw them get out of bed we would go in and calmly but firmly say its time for bed and set them back in bed and tuck them in. In the early stages it would take 2 hours and 20 trips into their room but if you're consistent they'll eventually catch on.
 
@itagaki The playing only happens if I keep them together. As soon as they’re separate they’re down within 10 minutes. They sleep 2-3hrs for nap at home
 
@moore2014 Then its a boundary setting thing. Let them know that they are not supposed to get out of bed after they've been tucked in and regularly check in and retuck them in as many times as it takes until they stay in bed. You can also give them something in bed to focus on like a book, bed safe fidget toy, or stuffed animal, (we give our girls glow in the dark stickers) and that may also help. To you keep kids toys in their room? Having toys in a room other than the bedroom can also reduce the temptation.
 
@itagaki I teach so exactly what you described was my first response. I tried it for 3 days over our recent winter break - naps and bed time, the same routine and explanation each time. Their behavior did not change. Even by the 3rd day, they were still playing for over an hour and constantly getting out of bed. I also tried taking all the toys out of the room other than their super big ones (a rocking horse and a pikler triangle) but it didn’t make a difference. They played with each other and their blankets (we haven’t used sleep sacks since 10mo and at this point I’m not going back).
 
@moore2014 I'm fortunate to have a house that's five bedrooms as of right now two are used for guests and my infant daughters have their own. They've had they're own rooms since they got home from the NICU and will continue for hopefully however long they want. The reason being my baby a is a light sleeper like myself so when noises wake her I don't want her crying and waking her sister like in the NICU or vice versa baby b waking up baby a with her cries.
 
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