@ericak101 For me it was hell that robbed me if my childhood and scarred me for life.
That was no fault of my little brother though, but my extremely abusive parents. Don't make too many differences between the kids, don't treat the older one as a live in maid and nanny, remember even if the older one looks HUGE compared to the baby, they're still a small kid with very limited cognitive capabilities and you'll likely be fine.
But honestly this is one of my biggest fears after health concerns. I'm really scared of fucking siblings up due to my abhorrent example from my own life and all those templates I surely carry deep inside my neural paths. But I would like to have a second baby.
@ericak101 I have a younger brother, only by 17 months. We have our ups and downs but mostly during our teenage years. We have always been close. Get on pretty well I would say. It was nice growing up with someone. I want a sibling for my little one too. I think it would be nice for him to have someone to play with and have someone to hopefully be close to when older.
@ericak101 The best for your son will depend on what you as parents want and are able to handle. For us, I've realized that having a second child would put a huge strain on us in every possible way (emotionally, physically, financially) so our son will be better off by having parents who are able to engage with him and focus all of our love and efforts on giving him the best life possible.
I have a younger sibling and in childhood we fought all the time but still loved each other and now in adulthood we are very close. I'm so happy I've had her in my life, especially as we moved all over the world as kids so having that familiar person with me was helpful. Therefore I always thought I would have two children, but I've come to realize that my son's life will be different than mine was growing up and what makes his life the best it can be is different from what made my life the best it could be. My mom was also a SAHM so she had the time and energy to nurture both of us. As my husband and I both work full-time, we don't have that same capacity to handle two children.
@ericak101 My brother is 3 years younger and we've always been super close. In some ways we are uncannily alike, in others we are extremely different. My parents did always make an effort to treat us equally and we did most things as a family unit. I can't remember ever wishing I were an only child.
@ericak101 Thought having a little brother was trash for like 10 years ;he was just annoying little brother who always wanted to be around!) lol now he’s my bff! And he’s also my son’s godfather!
My parents never pushed us together. They gave us the space to cultivate the relationship. Never forced friendship, only encouraged respect. We just have a lot in common and a really similar sense of humor, which ultimately drew us together.
I’ll also add, we have an older brother as well who we are also buddies with! My younger brother and I are local to each other and have more in common, but I’m just generally close to both!
@ericak101 I’m the oldest of 4. I’m very close with the 3rd kid now, a little less the 4th with the age gap (he’s 8 yrs younger) and not at all with the 2nd. Tbh I thought it was absolute chaos growing up and my parents neither had the emotional bandwidth nor the financial stability for 4 kids.
@ericak101 Oh boy. You will not understand how stressful this is. I (17M) been the oldest sibling for a couple of years since I had my first sibling who is (11M) right now. As of today, I am the eldest of my 3 siblings and oh boy…That’s a heck of a lot of siblings to deal with. I had to deal with two siblings fighting with each other (11M and 6F), an autistic sister (9F) and the most stressful situation of them all, pleasing my little sister. Since I am a high school full of responsibilities which have to be fulfilled, I oftentimes drive myself into exhaustion just babysitting them and doing a crap ton of responsibilities which I have to fulfill at the same time. So yeah. I get stressed a lot from the times where I would lose my patience but I know how to cope with it.
But anyway, I love both of my siblings. I keep my patience at level at all times so i don’t lash out suddenly.
