@lizzieb90 My daughter isn't doing preschool. We'd definitely thought about it though, and even looked at some. But with COVID lockdowns, us moving, and a new baby it just hasn't been in the cards.
I'm a little concerned about how she'll do with a set school schedule and structure since we'll be jumping straight into kindergarten, but I think she'll figure it out quickly. She's already reading and doing basic math. We're just not super strict with scheduling.
@lizzieb90 My son turned 4 recently and hasn’t been yet. We are waiting to see if one program in particular has room for him, otherwise we won’t send him because we’re very picky. If they don’t, we’re going to put a big focus on activities and social time until kindergarten. Idk I feel like where preschool used to be one option, now people treat it like it’s an absolute must to prepare your kid for kindergarten. I agree that some prep can be done to help the adjustment, but plenty of kids have gone straight to school and been just fine. Even if they do struggle a bit, they’ll still adjust and be fine.
@lizzieb90 This is the reason I am a SAHM atm. For it to be realistic for me to go back to work and afford day care and make a profit, if have to work probably, 30 hours a week if not just go back full time.
I'm not ready to be away from him that long just yet so just doesn't work for us really.
@lizzieb90 My kids did half day preschool from ages two to four. At two it was twice a week. At three, three times a week. At four we started with four times a week and moved to five times a week. It really was essential for helping my kids grow up. Kids need socializing and learning how to behave in a school setting.
@lizzieb90 I’d stop confiding in people who call your parenting choices silly. She sounds unsupportive and judgmental. That’s your only problem here, it’s not a bad thing to skip preschool. Plenty of families homeschool from birth until college and their kids can be just as well adjusted and well educated as their counterparts.
@fullofjoy She’s definitely judgmental. I have a love/hate relationship with her straight-forwardness because at least she gets me to look at the other side of things sometimes when I wouldn’t think to.
And I agree, I knew a handful of kids growing up that were homeschooled and they were all actually significantly more advanced than I was in the public school system
@lizzieb90 My son is 4 and won’t start kindergarten until he’s almost 6. I feel the same, I don’t want to be away from him and he has the rest of his life to spend inside learning and working, but he also needs socialization. We found an all outdoors preschool program, that’s 3 hours 2 days a week and very reasonably priced, he absolutely loves it. I also purchased “playing preschool” from busy toddler so I could get some ideas for fun learning activities we can do together at home. You know what’s right for you and your kid, you will find what works!
@lizzieb90 My 4 yo is starting K in August. We've chosen not to send him to preschool, and I've gotten similar judgement. I find that--like all other aspects of childcare--most people are just clueless about how expensive preschool really is (even part time), especially in the very HCOL area we live in. I flat out tell people who ask that it's not within our budget, and I frankly find it incredibly rude that some people continue to push the issue. Like, unless you're offering to cut me a check, you need to drop it. I'm not sure why people would expect that somehow, in addition to managing to live off of one income in an extremely expensive city-- which is a feat in and of itself--we should also be able to afford what is essentially private school tuition.
There are other ways to help prepare your child to start school. Currently, my son attends a weekly 3-hour language immersion class that is essentially structured like a preschool class. He will also be attending a pre-k style "summer camp" for several weeks before school starts this year. So, yeah, pre-k is not at all the only option to help prepare your child for school, and unless they're paying your bills, people really have no business harassing you about it, especially when your child is still so young.
@lizzieb90 Where I live preschool isn’t a thing until age 4, we have 3 year old kinder but it’s not unusual if your child doesn’t go. I did half days for my 5yo from age 4.
@lizzieb90 My current 6 year never went to preschool since it was during the height of the pandemic and I didn’t feel like I wanted that to be his first introduction to school. He did fine in kindergarten and loved going. I do wish he had had the experience of preschool to prepare him and work him up to full day but it felt best at the time. It might have also clued us in a little earlier that he needed glasses.
@lizzieb90 My eldest started preschool when she was 3, and we plan to do the same with my youngest.
I found 3 was a good age - she really needed the social outlet and was eager to learn. We did a lot with friends at home but she’s really benefitting from more structure.
People are asking when my youngest will start now (she’s 15 months), and I just say not till 3. I love love love the 18 months till 3 stage and would hate to not get to hang out with her for that.
@lizzieb90 My son started preschool at 3.5 (well briefly at 3 but with Covid shutdowns we pulled him for awhile). He has always went part time. I prefer 3 mornings a week but we missed registration and he goes 2 right now, it’s 305/month. I think it’s pretty important. He’s where he should be academically but not socially and he’s really struggled. You kid being younger might be better but ours turned 2 in Spring 2020 and was pretty much completely isolated for a year and it’s been really hard getting him back where he should be.
@lizzieb90 It's all about what works for YOUR family. Life is not one-size-fits-all. (Until they get into school where that is attempted by the school system.)
We skipped it. We get socialization at the park, library, playdates, groups, etc. But i do teach him early education bc I am going to do actual home school at 3. Because that's what works for us.
My take: if you don't have/need to, don't be in a hurry. Teachers are wonderful and they do their best at a near impossible job! Yet they can only do so much at one time with a load of kids.
@lizzieb90 I don’t think it sounds silly at all. It’s natural to want to be around your baby as long as possible. I’d suggest waiting to see how she grows into a toddler - what her personality is like, energy level, if she’s introverted vs extroverted. It may help you decide when it’s actually closer to time.
@christianloyalty You’re so right. She hasn’t grown into her personality yet and I’m sure that will be a huge factor in deciding whether or not it’s right for her
@lizzieb90 We opted to skip preschool. Just do the math, 20+ kids for 6+ adults (if you’re lucky) how is my child supposed to get the attention they need at that age?
@lizzieb90 My father made a statement about my youngest being able to go to preschool soon so I can get back to work...which isn't our plan at all but I just changed the subject.
I've just taken on the idea that I won't be explaining or rationalizing or justifying our family choices to other people. Especially boomers. We've gotten to a place where we are very comfy with our finances on one income. I'll never have a career at this point and I'm good with that. So maybe one day I go back into the work force out of boredom or we don't stay comfy...but my kids ages or school status isn't a driving factor.
@lizzieb90 I had similar conversations with people starting when my oldest was around 6 months. They kept asking me when I was putting him in daycare and going back to work and when I said I wasn't planning on it anytime soon or I didn't want to leave him yet they would get so weirdly judgemental! I still don't get what the deal is with pressuring a mom to separate from her baby as early as possible. Like it's somehow wrong to want to be around your own kid and you have to be excited to take them somewhere else from 8-5 every day or they're going to grow up to be lazy and entitled? They were telling me he'd be socially behind if he didn't go to full day care before he was a year old! Babies don't even play with each other in an interactive way until they're much older. And even then they don't need to be somewhere for 6-8 hours every day to do that. I'm mad at myself for caving to the pressure and putting him in preschool and then full day kindergarten when he was still 3. He didn't want to go, he would ask why he couldn't just stay with me and go different places like the library and the park. And that's what I truly wanted to do, take him on nature walks, read books, do art projects, have play dates with other SAHMs, but I let other people's fears get to me.
Anyway now that I have 3 kids and have been at home for almost 12 years and I'm homeschooling them, everyone finally leaves me alone about it. I'm sure they're all quietly judging me, but they seem to have given up on telling me "that's reality!" and that I need to be away from my kids during the day. I think maybe they just couldn't comprehend me actually wanting to do this and they were worried I was using it as an excuse to avoid working out of laziness, but as all us SAHPs know- what we're doing is the opposite of lazy!
