Need to vent

[giangnt]

Ok guys. So I need to vent. I've lived in my apartment for 2 years now. Became friends with my neighbors since our daughters are the same age (3). My friend spanks, I dislike it but you can't change someone's parenting style. Im from Massachusetts but am raising my babies in Tennessee (vet school and that's where hubs lives). Recently I've been getting very irritated with the comments my so called "friend/neighbor" have been saying referring to my kids (who are 2 and 3).

"You northerner won't spank and now your kids are spoiled brats"

• while one of my kids are expressing there little emotions either by yelling or playing to loud, or God forbid throws a normal toddler tantrum I get this response "id whip there ass or smack there mouths if I were you, what's wrong with you Karla"

But last night went to far.....

While my toddler rode her bike towards the adults to ask me a question this "friend" had the audacity to spank my child. My daughter then instantly pushed her bike over and she spanked her again. (This happened within 2 seconds of each other) now I don't like confrontation but I was ready to punch this chick. I took the kids and walked away but of course her 3yo followed. So I had the kids play away after I had to calm my screaming confused toddler. I voiced my opinion nicely to her and thought all was ok. My daughter then wanted a little hug from said friend (bless her heart) since she thought said friend was mad. Said friend wanted NOTHING to do with my daughter, no affection, no smiles, nothing.

What in the actual f*ck is wrong with people.

This broke my heart. Needless to say we will be going to the park instead of outside every night. I don't need to be around people like that and neither do my children. We will see her friend if and when I babysit her. I told my fiance and he was livid. He knows that we raise them different than most people down south but theres a line you just don't cross.

 

[sheepofthefold]

@giangnt She spanked your child?? Dear lord I would have fucking lost it. I would have been so petty I would have called the cops. Fuck her im so sorry that sounds horribly traumatic

 

[introverteen]

@sheepofthefold Yep, I totally would have as well. That’s not ok.

 

[katrina2017]

@sheepofthefold Yes, I would've called the cops and I don't think that's petty at all! I'd call the cops if anyone hit me or my kid

 

[armour_101]

@giangnt That's way too far over the normal line!!! She spanked your kid?! I'm in canada, but that would be really not ok here. My close friends have kids, and we occasionally mildly discipline each others kids if their own mother isn't around, but would NEVER physically discipline. And I wouldn't discipline or even question anything the child is doing when their mother is already there watching them herself. With all the other degrading and annoying things this so called friend has been saying to you, I'd definitely not hang out anymore. I'd also have a short talk with her to say that spanking your kid was absolutely not ok, that she needs to apologize to your daughter, and if she ever tries it again you'll be calling the police.

 

[carallrae]

@armour_101 Also from Canada and certainly police worthy here. It must be so difficult having a different perspective from the people you live around. I would be so upset. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your daughter.

 

[smilemore]

@giangnt She physically assaulted your child. She is not a friend.

 

[safi]

@giangnt I would have had a really REALLY hard time not spanking the friend. Like. That probably sounds like a joke. But I'm not joking.

 

[smilemore]

@safi It was my first feeling also. Makes my blood boil!

 

[wuodnyawasi]

@giangnt You need to let that woman know that you NEVER spank another person’s child. That is disgusting. Even if you don’t like confrontation, she needs to be told. I hate spanking, we have friends that swear by it (never worked) and it always made me feel awful when they’d spank their kid. They would never even consider spanking our child. If someone ever tried to spank my child I would probably end up in jail. It would not go over well. She assaulted your child, that’s what it would legally be considered. I’m sorry your daughter was so upset, definitely keep her away from that psycho. Hitting doesn’t lead to good behavior, it leads to fear. There are sooo many studies out about the negative effects of spanking, I’d just print her out a stack and drop them off when you let her know to never touch your kid again and tell her you will call the cops if she tries to assault her again. It’s wildly inappropriate, I am enraged with you.

 

[reneecope]

@giangnt I am so angry for you. I don’t know how you’ll keep babysitting for their child and interacting with them. I’d be closer to calling the police. I’m from Mass living in a “spanking state,” too. Loose boundaries are hard to acclimate to, but if anyone laid a hand on my child I’d go nuclear. I don’t know how you kept your composure but I’m glad you did for your child’s sake.

No advice except making sure your daughter knows that was wrong and you’re on her side. I’m sorry that happened to your sweet child.

 

[katrina2017]

@giangnt Holy shit. Hitting your child is illegal in my country, and if someone did this to my child I'd report them for child abuse.
Also, I would let this woman know to never even talk to my child again.
Hug and kiss your baby, she is going to need that.
Spanking does more damage than people think.

 

[legend424]

@giangnt No no no no no no OH HELL NO. This is not a friend, this is someone who assaulted your child. I would’ve gone angry bear on this woman, I am so angry for you.

I will never understand how some people seem to think that spanking is different to any other form of hitting. The only thing that physical violence teaches children is physical violence.

Please stay clear of this woman however possible, and make sure she is absolutely clear that she is not to even touch your children again. She’d be getting off lightly by not having the police involved.

 

[everyrose]

@giangnt That's not a friend.

I would lose my God damned mind if someone hit my child. If someone called my kid a brat......yeah no. I'd absolutely cut this person off like cancer.

You were THERE there was NO need for her to intervene and discipline your child. Even IF that was acceptable, which it isn't. It's assault. She knows that's not how you discipline your kids and she did it anyway.

Sorry lady, some of us can string two sentences together in order to parent and teach our kids. Enjoy your barbarism and future alienation.

 

[delise]

@giangnt How did she spank her if you don’t mind me asking? Like did she just swat at her bottom or her hand or did she actually pull her off the bike and put her over her knee? Regardless that’s just downright awful and I live in the South and would Never in a zillion years even think of doing that.

This Mom will definitely not be the popular Mom in any of her Mom circles in life if she’s even allowed to stay in any after one day at all. Crazy lady.

Obviously her parents spanked her growing up and look how she turned out. I lightly spank my kids sometimes (extremely rarely and only for serious events) but it should never be used (IMO) for every little discipline. To me that’s just teaching to always handle things with violence.

 

[giangnt]

@delise She swatted at her butt open hand though. My daughter isn't in diapers so I know she felt it, then after she pushed her bike over as a reaction she got swatted harder. I have not talked to her since and have kept my distance. I too have swatted at my kids VERY RARELY. Only if they were about to do something that would harm them. Ex: swatted hands when they were curious of the heater. But I never did it to hurt them just to teach them that they will get hurt. This lady swatted way harder than id ever do and my daughter screamed. Im still pissed even now typing this, you just don't ever over step a mother and think its ok to discipline other people's kids.

 

[katrina2017]

@giangnt I am from Texas, so about as south as you can get. What she did is NOT normal, and not right!

 

[giangnt]

@katrina2017 I find more people in Tennessee spank and judge you if you gentle parent. Like im the odd one out. Drives me crazy. Yea she def crossed the line, told me she was "just kidding". Well my screaming toddler says otherwise. We don't hang out anymore, I've been taking them to the park sunset time and they LOVE it. Best decision ever.