Need help- almost 4 y.o sleep issues!

[jennaberthoud]

I need help! One of my twin boys is ruining sleep for everyone in the house. Twin A has always been a difficult sleeper. He has sleep apnea and we had surgery to get his adenoids and tonsils removed which has helped his sleep a little bit. Twin B loves sleep and needs a lot of sleep to function well during the day.

Our main issue is that Twin A will wake up often at around 4:45am and refuses to go back to sleep. He won’t hang in his bed and he immediately yells to be let out of the room. We have one of those “ok to wake” clocks set to 6am but if we don’t get him up then he will scream often try to wake up/hit/bother his brother. We have even tried to let him in to our bed but he refuses to go to sleep and will poke, yell or bother us until we wake up and go in to the living room.

I don’t feel like it is fair to Twin B to just let him cry it out until the light turns green (he is very stubborn), and if we put them in separate rooms his brother could still hear him crying and it would wake him up.

We have been dealing with sleep stuff for almost 4 years and we are at our wits end. Anyone else been here? Have any advice?

 

[lostandinsecure]

@jennaberthoud His current tactics are working, so why would he change? Pick a strategy and stick to it - short term pain for long term gain!

Do you use white noise and Blackout blinds? He's not being expected to sleep too much for his age? Not hungry or thirsty?

 

[jennaberthoud]

@lostandinsecure I totally agree. He has asthma so I feel like every time he gets sick/has a flare up we tend to get more lax on the sleep stuff.

He often says he is hungry when he wakes up but we give him a hearty snack before bed so I honestly think it’s just an excuse to get out in to the living room. It’s also kind of a bad cycle.. when he doesn’t sleep well, he doesn’t eat well during the day and is more hungry early, et.

We do have a sound machine and black out curtains so I don’t think the lights or sounds are waking him up.

 

[lostandinsecure]

@jennaberthoud This is a Busy Toddler (IG lady) idea.... could you put a snack in a visible place in his room after he is asleep at night. If he really is hungry (which he might well be, let's give him the benefit of the doubt) then he can snack away and entertain himself/go back to sleep until the rest of you are ready. Make it an unexciting snack, like plain cereal, or a sandwich, so you're not reinforcing early wake ups with treats.

I was thinking the white noise might help mask some sound for the other twin, if he does start screaming?

 

[kpc1988]

@jennaberthoud I too am in a similar boat but more with night wakings that can take a while or are frequent.

When I took away the gate, I swear she started sleeping better. We still have some issues but I feel like most of them time it’s because we went to bed too late or something went wrong the day before.

Often times she will leave the room quietly as not to wake sister and then receive some snuggles or cuddles. I wish yours would finish the morning sleeping in your bed but maybe have a little area in your room with quiet toys where A can wake up and come play quietly (if that area has a tablet, no judgement here). I would put a limit on it of course no earlier then… 5 am, 6am… whatever you think it’s reasonable.

I’m really hoping our luck will change when school really gets rolling.

 

[danielle1234]

@jennaberthoud Hi - just saying I am in the same boat. Almost 4, twin A had tonsils removed, still wakes up at 4am and comes to our bed

 

[jennaberthoud]

@danielle1234 Ugh I’m so sorry y’all are in a similar spot. But, this feels incredibly validating.