I’m a 20 y/o single mom to a 3 month old. Breastfeeding was going so well and I was so happy, as this is what I knew I wanted. Very long story short, delivery was terrible and left me with lots of issues. I had to start taking tramadol or I could not begin to take care of him like he needed. His pediatrician said he has to be on formula. I’m devastated. He’s been so much happier and sleeping better, but I don’t know anything about formula. I’ve only read bad things. I’m worried he’s getting plastics in his food. All I wanted was to give him the natural source. Am I a bad mom for taking pills over feeding him what’s best?
Need affirmation
- Thread starter saxonity
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- formula feeders
@saxonity So I am a loud and proud formula mom. She was on formula from day one. You are not doing anything wrong by as my dad quoted, “putting on your oxygen mask first before helping the baby” aka helping urself first by taking pills. My baby is 4 months old and doing great on formula. We bond over dressing her in the morning instead of feeds but my husband loves feeding her. I get sleep. I am going to a wedding and my friend is baby sitting and all i have to do is give her the baby keurig (baby breeza) and she can make bottles as she sees fit. Formula is the best thing that ever happened and is a god send.
Fed is best.
Fed is best.
I wanted to add that I understand the guilt. I was not always a loud and proud formula mom…. I was just lucky enough to have parents who knew It would be hard for me and helped me go in the opposite direction. If you do have to stop, the guilt goes away. Especially as you see that beautiful newborn sprout into a healthy baby. Either way all will be ok.
thanhcongk83
New member
@saxonity I breastfed my first baby until 20 months for numerous reasons, but I won’t go into all of them now. I’m due with my second baby soonish and I will be relying heavily on formula this time around. I can feel how much you care. But you also need to know two things. One, you already know, and that is your baby needs nutrients to live. If you aren’t able to breastfeed, then you have to do formula. Two, formula is extremely regulated and thank goodness it is. It’s nutritionally complete for babies. Please consider your sources when you hear things like “it’s full of plastics.” Are they a legitimate scientist, nutritionist and/or doctor working with infant formula for a living? If not, then take what they say with a huge grain of salt. There are tons of experts in the field that has dedicated their entire career and lives to making sure infant formula is safe and perfectly good for babies. Give your baby the formula. Read up on safe formula preparation and storage. Read up on how to sterilize powdered formula if you’re extra cautious. Everything will be okay.
@thanhcongk83 i want to say i, by no means, am trying to undermine formula families. i’ve just personally always had breastfeeding shoved down my throat. of course ill feed my baby, it just feels bad because there’s so many women who want to breastfeed and don’t have the option, and i have a great supply and still can’t.
thanhcongk83
New member
@saxonity I didn’t take it that you’re undermining anyone. All good. It’s okay to feel all that you’re feeling. There are others that have felt the same, myself included. One of the reasons why I kept up with breastfeeding was because I had a great supply and there was a formula shortage. I felt lucky but also exhausted of it. I had to continue because I’ve been given the ability to, but yet I didn’t want to. You’d be surprised at how many moms out there are like you. But you also have to help yourself before you can be the best mom you can be for your baby.
@saxonity Relax. You are not choosing pills over what's "best." That's lactivist propaganda. Formula is just as good as breastmilk. I never even bothered to try BFing. Didn't feel like it. My 3 year old is healthy as a horse and "a delight" at the preschool. My month old is chugging down a middle of the night bottle right now while I type one thumbed. You're in good company.
@saxonity Formula Fairy is a good follow on IG if you want to learn more about formula.
I have friends that are preschool/kinder teachers and they told me they couldn't tell you which kids were breastfed or formula fed. They can tell which kids have parents that play with them, read to them, teach and provide boundaries. Those things are far more important than their food source the first year.
You're doing great.
I have friends that are preschool/kinder teachers and they told me they couldn't tell you which kids were breastfed or formula fed. They can tell which kids have parents that play with them, read to them, teach and provide boundaries. Those things are far more important than their food source the first year.
You're doing great.
@saxonity You are absolutely not a bad mom. I started out breastfeeding and it was going great! Until it turned out my baby has food intolerances and needed hypoallergenic formula. It was a hard switch and I felt so guilty and awful at first. There's so many social media accounts out there screaming that "breast is best!!!!!" And making it seem like only terrible people use formula. But guess what? Good moms make the right decisions for their specific family. Formula is absolute magic and has everything nutritionally your baby needs. The most important thing they need is a healthy mom who loves them and they definitely have that. 
goldielocks
New member
mysticalrose
New member
@goldielocks This is so true!! There are some babies who don't eat by mouth at all and their parents still bond with them. Skin to skin is very effective for this, and it's most mutually beneficial when the parent is comfortable and relaxed. You can also literally give your baby a bottle during skin to skin if you want to.
@saxonity I’m a single mom and I’ve chosen myself over breastfeeding (well the plan was to pump) and don’t regret it at all. I take ADHD medication and I rather have my kid have a functioning parent over the small possible benefits of breast milk. He’s 8 months and thriving. If you are really worried about plastic from bottles there are glass bottles. I use the Avent Closer to Nature ones (they come in plastic and glass). The nipples are shaped so that the baby controls the pace. He also gets excited to see me so I’m assuming all is good with bonding.
kalashnikovmage
New member
@saxonity I gave up on breastfeeding/ pumping a few weeks after my first was born in 2021. I had a terrible birth experience, BF was extremely painful, very low supply and severe PPD. Formula saved me and us and made our lives a million times better. We are in 2024, science is so advanced you really have nothing to worry about. A happy mother is priceless to the child and the family, so that should get priority over anything else. There’s a lot of pressure to BF and a lot of shame attached to not doing it, don’t give in to it! There’s so many of us out here, happy proud formula moms! My daughter is 3 now and healthy intelligent and hilarious! I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my second now and I’m surely gonna be EFF. All the best and lots of love
@kalashnikovmage this might be a stupid question, and maybe invasive, but do you think you and your daughter’s bond suffered because you didn’t BF?
@saxonity I would just like to say my experience was similar to the OP comment, and mine and my daughter's bond is great despite stopping BF! I can connect with her happily during feeds. I felt so special when she started holding my fingers that held the bottle. I still had to help her learn to latch to the bottle. She'll stare right into my eyes as she eats and listen as I talk or just study my face. She feels better instantly when I pick her up from fussing, she trusts me to feed her when she's hungry as She'llrub her face into me. She gets excited when the bottle comes out haha
Yesterday after eating she just listened to me go over "mama" and "papa" sounds until she fell asleep. I instantly thought about how happy I was when she fell asleep while BF, so I knew she was content now just as she was then. A happily fed baby with her mama.
Yesterday after eating she just listened to me go over "mama" and "papa" sounds until she fell asleep. I instantly thought about how happy I was when she fell asleep while BF, so I knew she was content now just as she was then. A happily fed baby with her mama.
jesusluvr665
New member
@saxonity Fair question and one that is pushed deeply by the lactivist crowd. Here is what bonds a baby to a mother/parent/caregiver: warm and timely responsiveness to baby’s needs. Can the baby trust you to feed them when they’re hungry, soothe them when they’re crying, rock them when they’re tired, etc? That’s the definition of bonding. Not baby’s mouth to breast. If that’s your chosen method of feeding will that help bond? Sure! It releases oxytocin. But so does eye contact with your baby while bottle feeding and giving lots of good snuggles.
@saxonity Jumping in. My son is 8mo. Won’t go into long details why he’s on formula, but I had this worry about bonding experience that was eating me. Now I car say with confidence that bonding will be there. You can still bond while bottle feeding, cuddling, contact naps etc. Safe to say he’s s velcro baby and super attached to me. You and your LO will be good. You love her and care about her.
kalashnikovmage
New member
@saxonity No, absolutely not. I hated BF and it made me very unhappy and depressed. I was much better with formula and bonded with my daughter way better while formula feeding and anle to also be a more likeable person for her to bond with. Also, my husband and I were able to split nights so 1) he has an insanely close bond with her too 2) we are all happier humans when well rested! We are a very close happy family unit thanks to formula.
@saxonity
Code:
In the 80’s- 90’s there was a large formula initiative the same way there is a breastmilk initiative now, many many people you know that were from that generation of babies are all formula fed. If you start to think about just how many people that is you start to realize it’s going to be okay!
As well a healthy & happy mom is so much more important than breastmilk.canedunkan
New member
@saxonity Infant formula is very heavily regulated by the FDA. The companies are very careful about sourcing their ingredients. I was EBF for 2 years. I had envisioned nothing but breastfeeding my son (now almost 9 months). But I had a horribly low supply and despite pumping and eating the recommended diet- my supply never went up. Devastated: my son had to be switched to EFF by 2 months. His weight increased so systematically- his development was before timeline or on point. As per my moms stories, I used to fall so sick left right and center that I had to be medicated ( I used to go down with fever, cough and cold, pneumonia, ear infections very often on a recurring pattern). But I’m grateful that my son NEVER went down that route. Infact at times I used to get diarrhea too when I was EBF and was intolerant to some foods that my mom was eating so she had to eliminate foods and despite that things stayed same. She continued. She did confess that at times she felt like she was poisoning me! The message is that every baby is different: breastfeeding may or may not work out for some. Fed is best- how you feed baby is 1. Choice 2. Medical necessity if it’s an allergy baby. It is what it is!
Formula is a wonderful way to feed baby. IT’s nutritionally complete and there are so many formulas out there to cater to the different digestive needs of the baby. Anyone can formula feed the baby and bond with them. Remember: you matter and you baby is proud to have you. As a mom what matters more than baby growing, happy, thriving? And what’s more important than momma claiming her physical and mental health? Happy momma=> happy baby
Formula is a wonderful way to feed baby. IT’s nutritionally complete and there are so many formulas out there to cater to the different digestive needs of the baby. Anyone can formula feed the baby and bond with them. Remember: you matter and you baby is proud to have you. As a mom what matters more than baby growing, happy, thriving? And what’s more important than momma claiming her physical and mental health? Happy momma=> happy baby