getlostinthewild
New member
My son (15) is failing 4 out of 7 of his freshman year classes. One of those classes is a study hall and all he has to do to get 100% is show up. The other two classes are band and gym, and he has a B and a C respectively in those classes. The other 4 classes, he has a 17%, 37%, 47%, and 53%. I’m at my wits end on this. He’s on a 504 plan for ADHD. I’ve tried everything, and Covid seems to be the ever-convenient excuse to just pass the kid through the grades without a care in the world. He flunked 7th and 8th grade. I was in constant contact with his principle in 8th grade. We put him in an extra study hall, we required him to go to school early and/or stay late. They’ve given him detention until his grades were up, which just resulted in him being in detention always, and as a result, he just ended up enjoying his time spent with detention teacher. So then we (the principle and I) required him to go to his teacher’s classes instead and having them sign off on him being there so we could keep track of him.
I’ve offered to PAY him for passing grades (passing grades, mind you, not good grades). We’ve taken away things (his phone, bike, longboard, skateboard, time with friends, gaming systems, etc.). It truly does not matter what we do. The year 2020 I can understand, but schools had a plan by the 2020/2021 school year. He didn’t pass. He flunked every single one of his core classes (I’m talking 30-40% in those classes. They didn’t have summer school for anyone but high schoolers, so since he wasn’t in high school, there was nothing, and they didn’t hold him back either.
Now we’re in exactly the same boat for the THIRD year in a row. 95% of his school work is on a school-furnished laptop computer. YouTube and other websites are not blocked, so it’s me and his other teachers managing his screens, which requires us to basically catch him on the wrong screen before he has a chance to click off of it. I’ve asked for an IEP. I think he needs paper assignments and a baby sitter. But I’ve been given the run-around “well, we’re not there yet.” And I’m told his “Smarter Balance scores are at ‘basic’ level, so he’s clearly not grade level and is struggling, but they’re not low enough of scores for him to be tested for anything.”
To me, as his mother, I feel like it’s 50% a motivation/giving up problem, and 50% needs lots of extra help problem. My significant other is 100% against me homeschooling him, plus I don’t feel like I can homeschool him for every subject. And the school system isn’t very helpful either.
Please, advice is welcomed and needed!
EDIT: though he sounds like an all-around rough kid, he’s really not. He’s really smart and motivated to learn about things he WANTS to learn about. He’s kind, sociable with adults and kids alike.
All I know is that I’m exhausted with fighting with him. And he’s exhausted by my constant checking up on him. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I just want him to graduate and be successful in life. I don’t care if he goes to college. I think he’ll eventually do really great in a trade. He’s an extremely hard worker when put to a physical task. He enjoys being helpful that way. But he can’t read/write worth shit, and I’m really afraid for him.
I’ve offered to PAY him for passing grades (passing grades, mind you, not good grades). We’ve taken away things (his phone, bike, longboard, skateboard, time with friends, gaming systems, etc.). It truly does not matter what we do. The year 2020 I can understand, but schools had a plan by the 2020/2021 school year. He didn’t pass. He flunked every single one of his core classes (I’m talking 30-40% in those classes. They didn’t have summer school for anyone but high schoolers, so since he wasn’t in high school, there was nothing, and they didn’t hold him back either.
Now we’re in exactly the same boat for the THIRD year in a row. 95% of his school work is on a school-furnished laptop computer. YouTube and other websites are not blocked, so it’s me and his other teachers managing his screens, which requires us to basically catch him on the wrong screen before he has a chance to click off of it. I’ve asked for an IEP. I think he needs paper assignments and a baby sitter. But I’ve been given the run-around “well, we’re not there yet.” And I’m told his “Smarter Balance scores are at ‘basic’ level, so he’s clearly not grade level and is struggling, but they’re not low enough of scores for him to be tested for anything.”
To me, as his mother, I feel like it’s 50% a motivation/giving up problem, and 50% needs lots of extra help problem. My significant other is 100% against me homeschooling him, plus I don’t feel like I can homeschool him for every subject. And the school system isn’t very helpful either.
Please, advice is welcomed and needed!
EDIT: though he sounds like an all-around rough kid, he’s really not. He’s really smart and motivated to learn about things he WANTS to learn about. He’s kind, sociable with adults and kids alike.
All I know is that I’m exhausted with fighting with him. And he’s exhausted by my constant checking up on him. I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. I just want him to graduate and be successful in life. I don’t care if he goes to college. I think he’ll eventually do really great in a trade. He’s an extremely hard worker when put to a physical task. He enjoys being helpful that way. But he can’t read/write worth shit, and I’m really afraid for him.