My 5 y/o says he thinks he is ugly. is this normal/a phase?

[soccerbeth]

Trying to not be biased but my kid is actually a pretty one, in fact he is quite popular at kindergarten, but out of nowhere he started saying he didn't like his face and he is quite specific about it. He says he doesn't like his eyes and the shape of his head and he even gets a bit emotional, not defensive at all but sad maybe? when I dig a bit into it has he elaboratsa on it. I'm a bit concerned and unsure if this is a phase but I fear for his self-esteem and mental health. is this something common? Should we see a specialist? If so, of what kind? thank you!

 

[the0prayer]

@soccerbeth It can come as a surprise. Kids find struggle to locate their spot within the peer group as they enter the latency age (decentration). Escaping egocentric view of the world, they compare how they look with others. It can look quite prominent compared to their younger days.

But unless this affects his relationship or academic function, I would continue to monitor. It is more about the caregivers’ anxiety that may prompt a specialist visit.

Hear the kid out and validate the negative emotion, “hmm… if that is what you’re thinking you must be upset.”
And then try to name the positive aspects of his appearance, “but actually I see you as….”
And if needed check in if anyone told the child negatively about their appearance as this might be a sign of bullying.

 

[bishopoflyons]

@soccerbeth Please look into OCD. This could be one the many insidious and surprising aspects of OCD…my daughter expressed similar thoughts seemingly out of nowhere. Treatment has made a big difference.