My 3.5 year old refuses to use the big potty

@writtenword75 My daughter was harder to potty train than my boys. She was ready at 2.5. But refused. I tried everything. Then a week after her 4th bday she decided enough was enough and she was potty trained đź’Ż day and night. Never had another accident. Maybe just give her some more time
 
@dori777 Time is good. I guess im just worried about her showing no interest, and falling too far behind other children her age. But i know every child grows at their own pace. I just didnt think itd be this hard. It was too easy with my 1st. Lol.
 
@dori777 I feel this in my soul. My daughter is so aware of when she pees or poops in her diaper. She is ready. When we tried to potty train her a few months ago by keeping her diaper off she just held her pee all day long. Like for eight hours. We had no choice but to end potty training before she got a UTI. I have no clue when she’ll be willing to go on the potty.
 
@writtenword75 We’re in very similar boats! I have an 11 year old who trained SUPER easy, and now we have a 3.5 year old who still loathes using the potty. I feel like we’ve tried it all. We’re currently only doing big girl underwear during the day and pull ups at night. I have to practically beg her to use the potty though and often get hit with the “no!” too. I’ve found making her go every few hours has stopped most accidents and I offer one M&M if she goes, two if she goes without me chasing her down. She gets something real special like a visit to the park if I don’t have to remind her etc; that’s only happened once so far though. We’ve also gone through 3 different kind of potty’s to find one she likes. Just some solidarity!
 
@donnyb I havent tried making her go every so often. Usually i just ask her. But maybe i should do that so she feels she doesnt have a choice. Its just the energy and the struggle of running her down everytime i ask. Lol.
 
@writtenword75 My daughter has days where she wants her pull ups and she's 3. I just listen to what she wants because I heard you shouldn't pressure them too much. The days she's in underwear she'll have at least 1 accident.
 
@phoneman777 Yeah i wouldnt say i pressure her. I read somewhere that pressuring them will just make them push back harder. Ive done alot of research online trying to figure this out. Lol. I usually just ask throughout the day if she wants to use the big girl potty. And ill offer a treat. And she always says no. Some days i dont really try at all because its just exhausting. Lol. But we'll get there. Thanks!
 
@writtenword75 It was a struggle for us and what worked the best for my almost 3.5 year old too was having set times she would sit on the potty every day. She didn’t have to pee or poop on it, but every day during the same 3 times, I would have her sit down and set a 3 minute timer. Once the timer was up, we’d put her diaper back on and go about our day. After a few days of this, she started going when I would sit her down, then she started just going on her own whenever she had to go. We ditched the diapers completely except for at night and we’ve only had MAYBE 5 accidents total in the last few months. The total process from when I sat her down at the same times to her going on her own and wearing undies was maybe a week and half.
 
@writtenword75 We did a combination of things. My daughter turned 3 in July and was potty trained a little before her birthday. The first thing we implemented was a potty chart. I made it using poster board, sharpies, and princess stickers. There was a section for sitting on the potty, going pee or poop, flushing the potty, asking to use the potty, and washing hands. Each time she did one of those things, she got a sticker to put on the chart. If she actually went, she got 3 m&ms. Then we did potty prizes. The 1st day, she used the potty all day she got a pack of bows. Then she had to use the potty for 2 more full days (3 full days), and she got a color book. 5 full days was candy land, and 7 full days was a princess dress of her choice. I figured she'd lapse in one of those days, but she didn't and has used the potty since.

I know bribing isn't always recommended, but it worked for us, and we stopped doing the m&ms after 7 days and did the chart until all the boxes were full. I think it really helped her see the progress and work she was doing. Good luck!

Edit to say: we put her on the potty once an hour to start then moved it to 90 minutes.
 
@seescandy Thats a good idea. We''ll just call it incentives instead of bribing. Lol. But i think the idea of giving her something to look forward to for using the potty besides treats will help big time. Thank you!
 
@writtenword75 I'm literally having the same issue. The sticker thing works. I used it on my first born but my second.. he will poop in the potty for a sticker but if I put on shorts or boxers he uses them like a pull up. I got talked to like a dog because he's not potty trained yet. My sibling even threw the fact that our grandmother potty trained their kid before she was 1, in my face. I wish you more luck than I'm having. If you don't have issues after you start using undies or shorts then you should be golden. Definitely try the sticker thing though. I'll be moving on to the dry erase marker on the toilet seat soon. Hopefully that will be more fun and he will decide pulling down his boxers and coloring is better than potting on himself.
 
@marinam91 Ok. Whos potty trained before 1? If so, thats a miracle and certainly has no bearing on your situation. We know every child is different. So dont let it get you down. Ive gotten a few good tips in this thread that i think will definitely help. Definitely gonna try the stickers thing. And also putting away all pull ups. We'll get there! & so will you! Good luck to you mama!
 
@writtenword75 My siblings kid apparently also my dad according to my grandma. I know they all do things in their own time. I didn't let it bother me using something our grandma did for their kid instead of their own effort and training didn't make me feel like a bad parent. I know I don't have the same village and that's ok with me. I wish putting up the pull ups would help. When I started the stickers he stopped leaving traps. I'm going to check out the book that was mentioned. I really don't know how to get the boxer/shorts to be seen as something different than a pull up. Hopefully it will help! I do agree though :) We will both get there. Good luck to you as well!!
 
@writtenword75 Put her in underwear and tell her everytime she goes potty in the potty she gets a sticker when she gets 5 she gets a treat. Get special stickers, really cool ones and only use them for potty. Potty trained my daughter in 3 days following that method
 
@writtenword75 Struggling with this as well. He'll be 3,5 soon. We've tried stickers, cool underpants with dinosaurs etc, lots of praise, just a short 'well done' .. He just won't have it. Tried to make him go every 30 min or so, but he doesn't want to and will have a meltdown. And I know he knows how to, as he used the potty (out of curiosity I guess?) when we first started trying. Then I had a baby in July and he completely stopped using it.

It's frustrating, because he absolutely hates having his poopy diapers changed, which has resulted in him trying to secretly poop instead. We always catch his sneaky poos, but the daycare doesn't. Now we're back to diaper rashes 🫡
 
@writtenword75 I always told ppl when my daughter was younger and they’d comment on her being too big to wear a diaper, that no kid goes to kindergarten wearing a diaper.. let her tht..

I just talked to her about it, showed her how mommy went to the toilet, and at 3.5 she asked if she could do pee-pee on the toilet and she did!
But for the life of me she insisted on pooping in a diaper still lol
Little by little she agreed on trying. After her 4th birthday she finally did it!

So don’t rush.. they all do when the time is right.. nothing wrong with your little one ;)
Just make sure the poop is soft and there’s no constipation because that could be a reason they fear the potty (painful). Otherwise, stay chill mama
 
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