Love bedsharing, but my husband feels lonely and neglected

[forgivenandloved]

Our 1 year always wakes within 45 minutes of going to sleep, so my husband and I have very little alone time. By the time I set him down and head downstairs, I've got around 30 minutes with my husband before im back on duty. We have a sidecar crib, but I don't feel safe leaving him in there if I'm not in the room because im afraid he will wake up and try to find me and fall off. So for his first sleep, I put him in his pack n play. After he wakes for the first time, he won't go back in the pack n play, so I bring him to bed, which means I have to stay in bed with him. Hes a light sleeper, so the room has to be dark and quiet, so my hubby and I can't really talk or hang out in there. I nurse to sleep, baby wakes 4-50 times a night to nurse, and im happy to do all that, but how do you stay connected to your partner when you only have 30 minutes a day to talk/hang out/be romantic? I havent hung out alone with my husband in a year, and he is starting to think the answer is sleep training because some friends of ours did and they are "off the clock" from 8pm-8am every night. Id love any suggestions ❤

 

[fantomas318]

@forgivenandloved For us, it was knowing we are adults and little one is a baby who needs us right now. Yes, that meant less time together, but we did things as a family instead. Nice walks with her in the pram and my husband and I could talk then, for example.

By 2 my daughter started sleeping longer stretches alone and I could spend an hour or so away from the bed most nights. Now DH and I have plenty of time to spend together. It just took a while.

 

[georgerussell]

@fantomas318 I second this. A lot of the first two years was stroller walks so we could talk, or even car rides. They start to have longer stretches and you will have so much time together you’re bored again (just kidding) but it does come! Then your toddler starts talking and you can’t get a word in with your husband during the day so at night you want silence.

 

[forgivenandloved]

@georgerussell Hahaha that sounds like a fun stage

 

[katrina2017]

@georgerussell It's like a law of the universe that as soon as I start trying to have an adult conversation with my husband my 3.5 year old talks over me. Every single time. We've been teaching the "excuse me" lesson since 18 months... it's really not catching.