Little guy is scheduled to arrive tomorrow. Any last minute tips or advice?

[lexi0903]

@dac My boy was chill and so easy for the first week or two. It wasn't until like 8 weeks old that I started seeing a side of him I had never seen before lmao. The second night my little boy was sleeping 23.7 hours a day and didn't cry once.

 

[judykaye]

@dac Yeah night two was interesting, luckily the nurses warned us.

 

[katrina2017]

@weixiao There's a massive hormone dump around around 5ish days post partum, I think it hits when your milk fully comes in? But you will feel crazy. It's normal, but you will probably cry hysterically over literally nothing, and you will sweat through your clothes randomly, and also smell weird. Idk it's wild. I didn't even know about it until my second baby, but knowing to expect it made it a lot easier to get through it, so I'm giving you a heads up haha. Just give yourself grace. Cry if you need to cry. It'll pass!

 

[tonemonkey]

@katrina2017 Yep, all of this. I smelled so strange and I sobbed uncontrollably when my phone made a video of our hospital stay. Pretty sure it was day 5. Definitely give yourself grace and take A LOT of pics at the hospital! Of course I was in the moment while there but you’re also in like a fever dream so I’m so glad I took the pics I did. Especially of my 6’4” husband sleeping on the tiny cot

 

[byzantine]

@katrina2017 THIS. I had my first (and only) panic attack on day 4. Knock on wood it doesn’t repeat, it was really scary. Those hormone levels are no joke and you will not feel like yourself for 10-14 days, but after day 5 I’d say each day for marginally better. Now I feel totally fine.

 

[rosepetel]

@katrina2017 Yes, the hormones were wild. And I was not ready for the sweating and especially the night sweats. Mine peaked at 2 weeks but I still get much milder ones at 9ish weeks pp

 

[phanzu]

@weixiao Lots of great advice here! Our first baby was born 1/21/24 here is what I wish I knew going into it:

1. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Just because they are medical professionals doesn’t mean they don’t also have an opinion. Everyone I interacted with during labor, lactation and initial pediatrician appointments was very educated and well-intentioned, but pushed their opinion as “fact.” There are many ways to approach all that lies ahead so do your research, listen to professionals but don’t feel like you can’t speak up. Your intuition as a mom is usually right!
2. Ask for / accept help! I’m reluctant to delegate ANYTHING but started saying yes when people asked if they could bring us food, walk our dog, etc. As hard as it was for me personally it’s been a huge help.
3. Don’t feel bad if you don’t love your baby every moment in the first couple weeks/months. You will be frustrated, cry, feel like you are failing. But you aren’t! You and your baby are learning how to do everything for the first time. Give yourself grace, you are a wonderful parent.
4. Be empathetic to your partner. It can be super overwhelming to just keep your own head on straight, then worry about this new screaming potato sack. But remember this is a huge transition for your partner too. They will make mistakes, get frustrated and maybe cry too. Give them grace because life transitions are hard and everyone processes them in their own way.

It’s an amazing experience and you are going to make amazing parents. Your LO is lucky to have you guiding them through life.

 

[neprep]

@phanzu Love your advice but also had to reply just to let you know I share a birthday with your baby! Have fun with your sweet, very unique little Aquarius!

 

[goldendarkness]

@weixiao Don’t be afraid to ask for formula if your baby is having trouble latching (if you’re trying to BF). Just bc they have formula in the beginning doesn’t mean they won’t be breastfed exclusively once they figure it out! I spent the first week of my baby’s life miserable bc neither one of us could figure it out and it wasn’t until his pediatrician recommended formula just for a minute that I realized I could do that. Give yourself grace. I feel bad that I was so hard on myself. YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. Women are so fucking badass.

 

[corderadegracia]

@goldendarkness I find it almost barbaric how little this is offered or mentioned. We ended up back in the ER on the same night we brought our little guy home because he hadn’t peed in 30 hours. We had no idea my wife’s milk wasn’t really coming in, the nurses said it was fine, etc. He was just literally starving. Got some formula at the ER and bam, we had a good baby.

 

[greatestfaith]

@corderadegracia Omg same. My baby lost so much weight and I did not know my milk had not come in. I was a first time mom and clueless about these things

 

[corderadegracia]

@greatestfaith Yep exactly. Sorry that happened!

 

[zooplankton]

@corderadegracia This happened to me too! Lactation people after birth kept telling me he would be fine, even though I was crying because he wouldn’t/couldn’t latch without their help, and they discharged me anyway. He had an ineffective latch, was very sleepy and we couldn’t get him to take a bottle at home. We wound up in the ER the morning after bringing our LO home because he didn’t peed for 24 hours. He needed IVs, and it was so traumatic for everyone.
So, yes. Advocate for yourself and your baby. Don’t be afraid to ask for help bottle feeding in the hospital (we’ve been EBF since 6 weeks now - they will never prefer a bottle to you) if nursing isn’t going well. And sleep. Sleep every minute that you can.

 

[voicesheard]

@weixiao I remember leaving the hospital with my first... He had been in the NICU for a few days (very common for newborns) so they could monitor his breathing. When they finally released him, we went to the NICU door and told the nurses we were there. They brought him out said a few friendly words to us, said goodbye and then shut the door.

I distinctly remember the sound of the door shutting, leading into total silence. My wife and I were just standing there in an empty hallway with a little tiny baby and I was thinking to myself "wait.. isn't someone going to tell us what to do next?"

Well we figured out what to do next and fumbled our way through the next several months. He's almost 5 now and doing pretty well despite my wife and I still having no idea what we're doing.

You can read as many books/articles/discussions/studies as you want, but nothing can really prepare you for the first few weeks/months of having your first baby.

Here are a few things I feel like I had to learn the hard way:
-this baby is going to test you. Test your patience, test your relationship, test your sanity and test you to see how little sleep you can survive on. I found some comfort in the fact that it's a universal experience. (Particularly the relationship part)
-your baby is going to have some weird stuff happen to it. Bumps, rashes, weird behavior, weird poop, too much poop, no poop. He/she's going to make some weird breathing noises and/or cry for seemingly no reason. Whatever it is, you're going to be sure that it's the worst case scenario, and you're going to be wrong. Don't hesitate to call the doctor, but don't stress too much.
-be prepared to break your own rules and throw your parenting plans out the window. It happens to everyone at some point... Maybe at many points.
-don't fall into the trap of arguing with your spouse over who does more work. Do your best to communicate calmly and clearly even when it hurts your pride.
-don't worry too much about the right or wrong way to do things. Just making an effort is enough to make you a good parent.

I'm sure you guys are going to do great tomorrow good luck!

 

[pammy777]

@weixiao I was also freaking out a little bit and worried about being unprepared before my scheduled c section. Someone told me this: online shopping will still exist after the baby comes.

Meaning, don’t worry about buying every little thing you might need right now before the baby comes. You will still have an opportunity to buy it once he’s here. Amazon prime was my best friend for the first month or so, especially during middle of the night feeds.

Honestly though, Reddit helped me so much during my postpartum phase.

R/breastfeeding
R/newborns
R/newparents

If you have a question, it’s almost guaranteed that you can just search it up and find that someone also had the same question. If not, make a post.

Ask the nurses questions. I was expecting them to round on me frequently to help with breastfeeding but they didn’t and I became so overwhelmed and stressed and ended up having a breakdown because my baby stopped latching on day 2. Don’t be afraid to use your call light and get help.

If you don’t feel immediately feel head over heels in love with your baby, that’s normal. It can take some parents weeks to fully connect. You might feel guilty at first but I promise you will one day wake up and realize you’re obsessed.

You’re going to do great!

Babies are made to survive the naïveté of new parents. Just trust your gut instinct and everything will be ok

 

[sipho]

@weixiao The first month was pretty easy for my wife and I. The baby only needs three things: to be fed, a diaper change, or to be burped. It would be great if your husband can help as much as possible. You both will likely be sleeping in 2-4 hour increments for an entire month.

I would ask your nurses questions. The nurses where my wife delivered was kind enough to show me how to change a diaper or burp a baby. That was very helpful for when we got home to take care of the baby on our own. Youtube also has a lot of great videos on how to do that.

Have you decided if you're going to breast feed or bottle feed? If you decide to pump and bottle feed, you can get your husband to help with the feeding otherwise it's all you when it comes to feeding the baby. This can get difficult if you're really tired.

Anyways, big congrats. Y'all got this!

 

[freyrtheslayerwolfe]

@weixiao If your hospital offers to take the baby to the nursery the first or second night for a few hours, do it. You need that rest.

 

[elicia]

@freyrtheslayerwolfe second this! i had no idea that was a thing until my nurse asked us and i nearly cried because we needed the sleep. i got 3 hours of sleep and it felt glorious - even if i was all wired up and in a hospital bed!

 

[mim4you]

@weixiao I'd take a double dose of Unisom and knock yourself out if you can manage to get comfortable enough! I'm laying here with my 8 week old wishing he would just sleep so I can get the nightly 3.5 hours or so of sleep. He's lucky he's so damn cute

Tips or advice? Be kind to each other. Drink a lot of water. Bring your own towel and shower products .

 

[tfran]

@mim4you I wish I’d done this, the unisom for sleep the night before. I’m on hour 10 of my induction and too uncomfortable to sleep. But of course I barely slept the night before in my own bed