Baby boy is 4m old. His gma, my MIL, comes here to our house twice a week to watch him while I nap or do chores and his dad takes him to his g-gmas every Sunday. My MIL has offered several times for me to drop him off there for a few hours so she and g-gma can sit. I don't know if it's just me being paranoid but even the thought makes me feel horribly guilty, even though he enjoys them both and more importantly, I completely trust them. He's a very happy, social baby. Am I just being crazy?
Leaving baby?
- Thread starter sherina
- Start date
providenciaet
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terphawthorne
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@providenciaet Seconded. Mine were like… over a year.
andrewgrinlein
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@sherina not crazy, mama. so many of us have the same thoughts. i suffered from ppd so badly after my one and only baby boy. i felt guilty every second i wasn't with him--even when i was in the shower. i would rush to get out because i felt like i was a bad mother for enjoying any time away from him. wild, huh? motherhood is hard.
@andrewgrinlein That's kind of where I am mentally rn too so it's hard to gage haha
tomwedding
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andrewgrinlein
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@andrewgrinlein Is... that feeling due to ppd? I don't think I have ppd... but this is 100% exactly how I feel when I'm not holding my wee one/doing anything that is not related to baby care.
andrewgrinlein
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saviorisalive99
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@saviorisalive99 That's pretty much what I've been doing since she's been offering since day 1 haha
raverdave2k
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@sherina So it's rude if she keeps bringing it up over and over after you've politely declined. That's not helping how you feel. That's pressure.
Also if you are comfortable with her coming over multiple times a week that's great, but if you're not it's okay to say "No" too. It's okay to ask your husband to do some extra chores so you can nap with baby, or if you enjoy doing them (sometimes I like to do house things bc it gives me an accomplished feeling, and I'm particular) and it's a arrangement that works keep it up!
I guess I'm trying to tell you it's perfectly normal to want to be with your baby all the time, and have emotions of fear or guilt when you're away. I 100% wasn't ready at 4 months, don't think I was away from my first until he was almost 10 months. Most people in our lives respected our choices, but SO's step mother expected us to drop off the baby when he was an infant, and she didn't take it well when it didn't happen. Don't ever feel bad for doing what's right for you and your family!
Also if you are comfortable with her coming over multiple times a week that's great, but if you're not it's okay to say "No" too. It's okay to ask your husband to do some extra chores so you can nap with baby, or if you enjoy doing them (sometimes I like to do house things bc it gives me an accomplished feeling, and I'm particular) and it's a arrangement that works keep it up!
I guess I'm trying to tell you it's perfectly normal to want to be with your baby all the time, and have emotions of fear or guilt when you're away. I 100% wasn't ready at 4 months, don't think I was away from my first until he was almost 10 months. Most people in our lives respected our choices, but SO's step mother expected us to drop off the baby when he was an infant, and she didn't take it well when it didn't happen. Don't ever feel bad for doing what's right for you and your family!
@sherina I leave my baby with my mom 1-2 days a week, and they have a great bond. This started when my daughter was about 4 months old. I do feel bad being apart from her, but my daughter has bonded deeply with my mother, and I know that's good for both of them. If I was not on the verge of post partum depression and completely overwhelmed by housework due to ADHD, I would only leave her at my mom's for an hour or two. But I honestly need the help, so I remember than anytime I feel guilty. I can't pour from an empty cup.
mrlutrinae
New member
@sherina Not crazy it’s just hard. My mil and sil run a day care and I leave my daughter with them frequently but at first I was afraid! And even now sometimes I just wanna keep her home lol, but I know the socialization, immunity boost, level of care are all good for her! I struggle with feeding her but she eats so well over there. Plus I get to focus on my infant son. And even with all these (and more!) positives, I still feel weird and guilty about not having her with me
Basically, it’s normal
Basically, it’s normal
