Just found out I’m having twins. I have a 1 and a 3 year old already and the panic is setting in

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lalue

New member
As the title says we’ve just discovered that we’re having twins, I was using contraception so this is a complete surprise. Mostly I’m panicking that I will have 4 under 4!

Who else has had twins bump up their family numbers unexpectedly, how did you adjust? How did the older ones adjust? I’ve yet to feel the excitement about twins as mostly I’m split between “wtf” and “twins! Are we crazy doing this?” When will these feelings calm down?
 
@lalue I second a lot of what @jesuscansaveu says. It is a lot of work. Mine were planned. I had a 15 month old at date of transfer so I knew, practically speaking, I’d have 3 under two for a brief period of time if both embryos took and made it.

They took. They made it.

In my opinion and experience, the worst of it is early on when you have two newborns. The newborn stage is waaaaaaay harder with two than one (I was the idiot that thought it couldn’t possibly be that bad...jokes on me). But, it’s short and goes by fast. It gets infinitely better when they have some head control and again a big leap when they can sit unassisted. I have distinct memories of holding two screaming babies and thinking to myself “what the absolute fuck did I do to myself?”

I have that thought a lot less now a days. I can’t remember the last time I had it. Mine are not yet one, so in relative terms, probably not that long ago, but long enough I can’t recall it.

My eldest is a really good big brother and loves doting on his sissy and brother. We’re in that sweetheart stage of baby and not yet opinionated toddler. I guess the point of my rambling is that twins are hard, yes, and you may think to yourself “wtf did I do?!” on a frequent basis for awhile, but it gets better. At some point, you’ll look at your kids and go “how could it ever be any other way?” (Though, if you’re anything like me, it’ll be a visceral “NO!” anytime someone jokes about going for another and having another set of twins.)
 
@iferexo My husband had a vasectomy three weeks ago, we are so done having babies. People do love joking about us about having more children, three is plenty.

You're right about the newborn stage, it's so short, and for us three weeks were spent in special care. Today my boys were both trying to roll over, it was so awesome. I'm really hoping they'll manage it tomorrow since they're dad will be working from home!
 
@beefreetwo We did wait until our boys were three months old so I was recovered and in a rhythm. The first few days were the worst, and the first week was painful. He found by the second week he was feeling better, but he needed to wear supportive underwear. By the third week he was feeling almost normal, unless he accidentally jumped, and by week four he was feeling really normal. He did say that he thinks some guys are more sensitive to pain than him, but that it wasn't that bad. He was able to help me with all three children when he was home. I did do all the nappy changes for the first few days so he wouldn't risk getting kicked, the fear of getting kicked can cause a little pain.

He really recommends it to anyone. We're both really happy that he was able to get it easily. It's been a month and a half and he feels great.
 
@lalue Congrats!!!

I cannot relate, but my friend could. She had twin boys. Very excited to try for a third one. Her twins were almost 2yo. They thought they’d try for a girl, and just be happy with a third child. They got pregnant easily. With triplets! Three boys! So now they have 5 under 4! On their way to a football team 😂 I always compare myself to her and I now know everything’s possible! Quand on se compare, on se console (I don’t know of a better phrase than this, and I don’t know if it has a translation in English!).

You got this, the newborn stage is hard, but you’ll find your rythme. One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. One day you’ll blink too long and they’ll already be in school! 😭

Edit : words are hard
 
@rosesandthorns It makes me rethink this third child idea myself... lol But they were somewhat prepared, having had twins the first time, it was a new kind of rodeo lol I think these sets of kids chose their parents well, they’re awesome and so chill. Idk how they keep their cool!
 
@msmellylynn Saaaaame. I already have a 3 y/o daughter and a set of boy girl twins. My partner says he wants another when the twins are a little older. And he wants another set of twins (they’re his first kids) because he now “couldn’t imagine just having one at a time to love on”. Like... no. Noooo way buddy. Lol.
 
@lalue Finding out we would be having three under two was a bit of a shock. I still remember how I felt when the sonographer put the scanner on me, I decided I never wanted another surprise again.

I'll be honest, I don't think I've adjusted, I think I've just done. I get out of the house to keep our daughter entertained, because staying at home leads to a very bored two year old. My boys are pretty easy, but having two makes it a lot harder. It just takes longer to do everything, but once we're out we're happy.

My husband and I still look at each other and just say 'twins', because they just need so much attention. We love them all and wouldn't change it for the world, but they're all a lot of work.

Edit: Congratulations by the way!
 
@jesuscansaveu I could have written this exactly, except I have a boy toddler and twin girls! My first reaction to finding out I was pregnant with twins was, "OH SHIT, really?" Mind you, I was alone because of Covid and had to wait to tell my husband until after the sonogram. There was a lot of disbelief cursing going on.
 
@mynameisjeff My husband and daughter were waiting in the car while I had my scan due to Covid! I have a recording of me seeing them for the first time, including my response (oh, oooh, oh) and ending with me telling the sonographer I need to call my husband. It's surreal to watch.
 
@jesuscansaveu Right? I had enough time to see the scan and think, "that looks different than last time... is that 2?! Nooo, it can't be..." just for the tech to confirm that it was, in fact, two babies. Spontaneous identical. Genetic lottery or as my friend said, Genetic freak of nature.
 
@mynameisjeff Wow! Mine are fraternal, so it was super obvious. Two sacs, two little blobs, and two little heartbeats. No family history, and my only risk factor was being older than 35. I hope you're loving yours, mine are holding each other's hands while cuddling with me in bed as we slowly wake up. My daughter is following my husband around just saying 'Daddy'. It's a normal, crazy morning for us.
 
@lalue Ooh me! I had 4 under 4! Twins were born and I had a just-turned-2yr-old and a just-turned-3yr-old. You will do it! And you will be great. And they will be a treasure for your family. Hard work but so much fun.
 
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