I want to start by saying that I truly do love my mom. I wouldn't be nearly as healthy today as I am without her. I'm a 21m and the following is all real things my mom has done. Warning, this is a little graphic.
My sister 25f was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 12 and an eating disorder at about 14. After the diagnosis of an eating disorder, my sister went to an outpatient feeding clinic. My dad never went once. He was working as much as he could to provide for us. I have very mild cerebral palsy and was chronically ill my entire life until about 17. During the almost 8 years of my sister's battle with severe anxiety and depression, including suicidal ideation, my sister was the favorite child and my mom was so overwhelmed by both of us, she developed what she refers to as her angry phase. She hasn't left it. Parents of Reddit, specifically moms of boys and girls, or just boys or just girls any input is helpful, please answer as many questions as you can. Dads can chime in too but my dad did his best to mitigate my mom when he was home so I don't really have anything against him related to this stuff but feel free to learn how to not parent from these examples.
In no specific order:
My sister 25f was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 12 and an eating disorder at about 14. After the diagnosis of an eating disorder, my sister went to an outpatient feeding clinic. My dad never went once. He was working as much as he could to provide for us. I have very mild cerebral palsy and was chronically ill my entire life until about 17. During the almost 8 years of my sister's battle with severe anxiety and depression, including suicidal ideation, my sister was the favorite child and my mom was so overwhelmed by both of us, she developed what she refers to as her angry phase. She hasn't left it. Parents of Reddit, specifically moms of boys and girls, or just boys or just girls any input is helpful, please answer as many questions as you can. Dads can chime in too but my dad did his best to mitigate my mom when he was home so I don't really have anything against him related to this stuff but feel free to learn how to not parent from these examples.
In no specific order:
- Refusing to let me drink Gatorade because that's only for my sister then yelling at me for getting sister's permission to drink one small bottle of Gatorade.
- Punching me in the chest because she was upset with me.
- Screaming at me for telling her that I have physical limitations.
- Blaming me for having cerebral palsy.
- Regularly threatening to kick/hit me in the groin because she's bored or I disobeyed her, usually I disobeyed due to muscle spasms or something out of my control.
- Encouraging me to stand up and let my sister kick me as hard as she could in the groin to prove girls are better than boys and that boys are weak. (This has significantly messed me up. Even after having a healthy relationship with my 21f gf for just under 2.5 years and openly talking about this I still have issues from this day)
- Absolutely refusing to let me be shirtless at all past the age of 7 unless I was at the pool. My sister could be in a sports bra or a tank top and I was forced to always wear at least a Tshirt because tank tops on boys are wrong or some damn thing.
- This one might blow your minds. If I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, I was forbidden from having my sleeves up because it could "ruin the shirt". My sister however could have her sleeves up as much as she wanted. I once walked out of highschool and got picked up and my mom screamed at me for having the sleeves on my flannel up in 75°F weather. The flannel that was too big on me anyways.
- This one is messed up and graphic. When I was two, I had a severe testicular torsion. 720° rotation. I barely managed to keep my testicle. Thanks to an excellent surgeon and my parents quick reaction to my showing of barely any pain (I have an incredibly high pain tolerance due to being in constant pain since birth). My mom has on several occasions threatened me with losing a testicle, losing both of my testicles, and/or losing my penis. Depends on the day. Going so far to say "If you don't do what I want you'll really lose a testicle this time" or something about crushing my testicles or doing something that would result in me losing my penis. I block most of this out to protect myself.
- Telling me that she's happy I don't have any mental health issues like my sister or she'd kill herself and it'd be all my fault.
- Telling me that she wishes she could go back and not ask my dad for another baby because I'm the result of that ask.
- Telling me that had she known I'd be born with cerebral palsy, she would've aborted me.
- Getting mad at me for sleeping in my underwear. She won't fight me on being uncovered in bed as long as she can't see me shirtless or any part of me below my shoulders.
- Telling me I hate her for giving birth to me. Which I don't. And she won't accept me telling her I don't hate her as true.