Is having a second kid really worth all the trouble? It looks exponentially harder to go from 1 to 2 kids than zero to 1.

[32983]

@stufftheme Pray for me. About to have my second with a 14 month old

 

[soleman]

@32983 I did this with my first two. I’m praying lol, it’s hard but you’ll survive

 

[serenity76]

@stufftheme I just had our son a week ago today, and our daughter is 4.5, and I cannot agree more. My husband and I were chatting this morning saying we must be missing something because this feels way easier than with our daughter!

 

[safeguy]

@serenity76 Just want to say congratulations on your healthy baby. I saw one of your posts on another reddit and then clicked on your profile because I just had to know if your baby survived. Reading this post here made me so happy. Yay, yay, yay!

 

[serenity76]

@safeguy Thank you so much, that's so kind of you. Yes, he's doing very well and we are very thankful for it!

 

[needafriend79]

@stufftheme We had our second 19 months after the first. I had ppd with both but the second was easier to cope with by far because I knew what was happening. Two under two is a lot to handle but it's honestly not bad.

The pregnancy, labor, postpartum, feeding, entertaining, etc - all miles easier the second time. Overall highly recommend!

 

[puddintain]

@stufftheme Even when they are closer it isn't that bad. Mine have 23 months between them and there's some benefits. We are already in the thick of everything so the chaos doesn't seem to have really increased in volume. The toddler enjoys entertaining the baby and the baby is absolutely fascinated by the toddler. They are both into the same things (balls, walks etc) and the toddler has actually been remarkably helpful (mostly cause she'll bring me my coffee mug but she's actually gone and wiped up a spit up unprompted a few times)

 

[theenglishhovind]

@wheeler1552 We just went from 1-2 last week and I would agree with this for the most part—but I think the age of your first/others makes a huge difference. Our first is almost 2, so technically we now have the dreaded “2 under 2,” at least for a few more days.

It’s all true that the second is less of a shock because you’ve been through it all before, you’ve developed the skills and expectations. So from that perspective it’s easier than 0-1 for sure. But the flipside is that with two young kids that need constant attention (actually the newborn is easier than the toddler by a long shot hahah), add the birth recovery, sleepless nights, pumping/breastfeeding, feeding/entertaining/minding a toddler while doing all the above, potty training, making them feel loved and involved to avoid jealousy issues, it’s a lot for two parents that still need to work/provide and find time for sanity and each other.

So it remains to be seen if it will be easier for us, right now it’s not. But when the newborn is able to sleep through the night and wife isn’t pumping every two hours, it’ll probably be “1-2 is easier than 0-1.”

 

[eusebius]

@wheeler1552 Those parents are lying to you lmao. 0-1 was a breeze, 1 to 2 rocked my world

Maybe our first was just easy, but we settled into taking care of one baby fairly easily.

But the overwhelming juggling act of having to do triage to decide which kid’s crying was more urgent (2 yo who pooped their pants vs newborn that needs to nurse, 2 yo who desperately needs to be put down for a nap vs newborn who does as well, etc) and having to let one cry instead of attending to their needs…I just about lost my mind

 

[iceman116]

@eusebius I only have one so far, but I’ve heard from people with two that if you found 0-1 easy, then 1-2 feels harder. But if you struggled a lot from 0-1, then 1-2 feels easier. Not sure how true that is, but I had a super rough first year with my little one and I’m holding out hope 1-2 is easier for us.

 

[dphantom]

@iceman116 0–1 kicked our trash, 1-2 and 2-3 were comparatively easy.

 

[eusebius]

@iceman116 One baby feels like one baby, two kids felt like a million kids, truly

I am certain age gap plays a role though. If I had a newborn with my daughter as she is now (potty trained, able to grab a snack for herself from the pantry, able to be reasoned with) instead of at 2 (when she could hardly communicate, couldn’t be reasoned with, and was dependent on me for everything) it would’ve been different

 

[iceman116]

@eusebius I’m sure age gap makes a huge difference. My friends with two that are 3-4 years apart say the second felt like a breeze because they knew what to do and knew everything was a phase that would pass. However my friend who had two under two says it was a nightmare! I hope things get easier for you soon!

 

[wheeler1552]

@eusebius Well I plan on potty training my 2yo before the next baby comes and he goes down for a nap without any help so hopefully that won’t be an issue hahah. He’s also in full time daycare and I don’t plan on taking him out of it for my mat leave. I know it’ll still be a juggling act tho, thank you for sharing your experience too

 

[kimstar]

@wheeler1552 I found I had time to enjoy my second one a lot more. I was so much less anxious. The trouble starts when they’re 2 and 4 and I have 2 toddlers. I’m

 

[jimarjoram]

@kimstar Lol, it's so ominous that this comment cuts off midsentence! Send help, her toddlers have taken her out!

 

[paulclays]

@jimarjoram Loll

 

[soleman]

@wheeler1552 Interesting. I couldn’t disagree more. Going from 0-1 is pretty easy. 1-2 was 500 times harder. Mine are also 14 months apart

 

[wheeler1552]

@soleman Ya 2 under 2 is a whole other story haha I don’t know how people do that. I should have added an age difference in my post

 

[jasmine211]

@wheeler1552 Some parts are easier. Some parts are harder. But my main advice is you’ll need to learn to do everything faster and more efficiently.

Twice the production in the same amount of time. It’s stressful for me but definitely doable.

That being said I possibly have some undiagnosed ADHD that makes it a bit more challenging for me.