My husband (39) and I (42) have a gorgeous, smiley, curious, babbly 7-month old.
For AGES, we both were on the same page that we'd either have 0 kids or 2+ kids. He had a great childhood with his sister (who is now estranged from him as an adult, but the childhood memories are still there), and I had a rather bad experience growing up an only child, so we were both adamant that if we bring kids into the world, we'd have 2+ even if we had to adopt, etc.
I got pregnant easily and the fun way at 41. Pregnancy was normal until I had to deliver 4 weeks early due to complications, but nothing overly traumatic, thankfully.
But man, am I STRUGGLING with having an infant. We both work from home; I'm an entrepreneur so income can be very feast / famine, and he has a great steady career in tech, but it's not like we're both in private equity or something super cashed-up.
We have our son in daycare on weekdays, but he still gets up in the middle of the night, wails, and when he's sick we're often sick (since it be that way) and it's just SO HARD. My business has clients from all over the world, but I can't work on multiple time zones anymore since as soon as daycare is done, I'm momming out again.
I'm also a runner and a writer. Running fast 5ks and half marathons fills my cup. Working on my novel and other short stories fills my cup. Being able to travel extensively (I was a digital nomad and an expat before meeting my husband) fills my cup, especially if I'm not flying in economy.
So I've lately been flirting with the idea of just having one child. I feel TERRIBLE about this, but given that we're not super cashed-up like our BigLaw partner or investment banking MD friends who have an army of nannies at their disposal, and that daycare costs as much as college tuition for ONE KID (let alone two), and that I do not know if I can mentally or emotionally "restart the clock" and care for another infant.... I don't know what to do.
My husband of course says this is just a phase that we need to power through, but I'm just not sure how much powering through the next few years (i.e. restarting the clock when I get pregnant again) will mess up my mental health.
Would love some advice / hugs / "i've been there" war stories...
For AGES, we both were on the same page that we'd either have 0 kids or 2+ kids. He had a great childhood with his sister (who is now estranged from him as an adult, but the childhood memories are still there), and I had a rather bad experience growing up an only child, so we were both adamant that if we bring kids into the world, we'd have 2+ even if we had to adopt, etc.
I got pregnant easily and the fun way at 41. Pregnancy was normal until I had to deliver 4 weeks early due to complications, but nothing overly traumatic, thankfully.
But man, am I STRUGGLING with having an infant. We both work from home; I'm an entrepreneur so income can be very feast / famine, and he has a great steady career in tech, but it's not like we're both in private equity or something super cashed-up.
We have our son in daycare on weekdays, but he still gets up in the middle of the night, wails, and when he's sick we're often sick (since it be that way) and it's just SO HARD. My business has clients from all over the world, but I can't work on multiple time zones anymore since as soon as daycare is done, I'm momming out again.
I'm also a runner and a writer. Running fast 5ks and half marathons fills my cup. Working on my novel and other short stories fills my cup. Being able to travel extensively (I was a digital nomad and an expat before meeting my husband) fills my cup, especially if I'm not flying in economy.
So I've lately been flirting with the idea of just having one child. I feel TERRIBLE about this, but given that we're not super cashed-up like our BigLaw partner or investment banking MD friends who have an army of nannies at their disposal, and that daycare costs as much as college tuition for ONE KID (let alone two), and that I do not know if I can mentally or emotionally "restart the clock" and care for another infant.... I don't know what to do.
My husband of course says this is just a phase that we need to power through, but I'm just not sure how much powering through the next few years (i.e. restarting the clock when I get pregnant again) will mess up my mental health.
Would love some advice / hugs / "i've been there" war stories...