I wOn'T dO tHaT wHeN I HaVe KiDs

@lfbride That thread is still taking up space in my subconscious. Baby wants steak, mama wants steak, toddler wants steak... we're all eating steak. Guaranteed iron outweighs chance of food poisoning.
 
@enoch27 Same lol. All my friends are childless and when they say something like this I just think to myself "just wait...".

As a single mom to a toddler, I do almost everything of what I said I wouldn't do.
 
@enoch27 Oooooo. I have friends with no kids saying “I’m going to just bring my kid out with me for every occasion. They can entertain themselves.” HAHAHA OKAYYY. The best “they can nap in the stroller and car seat” haha you are ASSUMING they LET YOU.

I hate it so much. Sometimes I honestly pray they have kids just so I can slowly watch their sanity leave their body. It’s mean. But some people deserve it. Lol
 
@johnmatthewnewman I have no issue with people choosing to be child-free, but as a mom I have kind of realized that you learn a lot by having kids. Like this whole thread is saying, childless people just don't get it a lot of the time. Having children really shows you how different the experience is from the expectation, and I think that is quite humbling.

I think it also teaches us a lot more empathy for our own parents. Like everyone can think of ways their parents probably messed up, but once you have your own kids...You start to realize that messing up is inevitable. And parenting is hard and many people can probably gain a newfound appreciation for their own parents (not everyone because i know some parents are legit bad or abusive or whatnot).

Sometimes I honestly pray they have kids
Click to expand...

So like...I have mixed feelings, like I believe everyone should have the freedom to opt out of parenthood. It should definitely be a choice to have kids. But I also wonder with the new childfree movement, if some of those people are just never really going to "get it"? Like with so many more people choosing to be childfree than before, are we just going to have a whole bunch of people that never gain that appreciation for their parents, or that realization that parenting is fucking hard and none of us are doing it perfectly right?

I don't necessarily wish unwanted kids on them...But I hope those people can still grow to have a better understanding of what parenthood is actually like in reality.
 
@akags Thank you for this! I absolutely agree with you. I believe I’ve started to understand my parents more and I’ve started to see why they did what they did. My parents were pretty great parents but I remember as a child/teen and even as a young adult being upset about their choices and not understanding their actions. Now I really understand and I appreciate the things they’ve done.

I don’t wish for people to have unwanted children, in this specific situation these friends wish to have kids. They do think it’s easy to live a very social life (think dinner at 9pm and party until 1-2am) with their child. Sort of like the child will adhere to their life style.

Honestly some people don’t need kids to “get it” because I feel like those couples would probably fall apart. For example the situation as stated above, they almost gave up their puppy because they didn’t realize they had to potty train the puppy… waking up at hours of the night to take the puppy out apparently made them very unhappy 😑
 
@enoch27 A month ago was my son's first birthday. We celebrated with my Dad, his girlfriend and my sister and her boyfriend. I think my Dad had been watching Bob's Burgers before we arrived and it was playing in background most of the party. At some point my son started watching the screen for a bit and my sister's boyfriend starts asking all concerned: "Oh! Does he watch TV? Should he be watching that? I heard it's really bad for them..."

My weary, bloodshot eyes audibly creaked as they rolled. They're 22. Kids not even on their radar yet.

Yeah dude, my kid can watch a few minutes of a cartoon on his birthday while I have a drink and gram and gramps get their baby fix. If I really wanted to give him a shock I could tell him how they only way I can shave his talons is by putting on some Ms. Rachel so he can completely tune real life out for 5 minutes. Or how I put on the news every morning for my extremely early riser and we both zone out to it as he eats breakfast and I drink a coffee or two.
 
@enoch27 All of these smartass comments are part of what puts so much pressure on new moms. If you have babies or young kids your main goal is to survive. Not to have a superclean house, not to be perfect on the outside, not to be in constant competition with other people. It's to survive, bond with your kids and have them not kill themselves at every turn. And you can't give to much love to a little one. They will not remember that when they where asleep you didn't pick up their toys or wash the dishes. They will remember if you don't have time for them because having a clean house is more important than their needs. You do what you need to take good care for your little ones, and in my book you do an amazing job. Also as a mom of teenagers I miss the snuggles. Get as many as you can!
 
@duleycde The dishes and toys - that erodes my mental health. It's not for my kid I do it or for societal pressure, it's because as a human being having a somewhat peaceful and orderly home helps me feel grounded and calm. When we can't find the library book before school because mess, when it's hard to cook because dishes, it increases the stress.
 
@jbarl12 Oof. This snowballs for me, too. House is a mess, get depressed, less energy/motivation to clean.

But with little kids it definitely is a struggle to find the right balance
 
@akags Exactly. I actually had to go down to less house cleaner visits because I can't pick everything up for them to clean enough weekly.
 
@enoch27 I will sleep train them!! This was the biggest joke. I don’t want my baby crying for that long haha. I let both my kids come in my bed if they wake in the middle of the night. Mama needs her sleep. Either get in or go back to bed alone. #3 coming and I 100% know exactly all the things to just let happen and not guilt/stress myself about!
 
@mrmarkyboy I was “I’m never going to sleep train that’s so mean!”

We definitely did one of the sleep train things around 8 months because I was so f*kn tired I just needed 4 hours straight. I went back to work when he was 6mo. Yes, we shared getting up at night but each time he cried I was fully awake whether or not I wanted to be.
 
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