I missed another first and I’m really sad about it

[solatkarich]

@invisisole This is an INCREDIBLY good idea!!!

 

[stm113]

@dezzy Aww, I feel that. My FIL and his wife (who are both wonderful, wonderful people who love us to bits) took our girl to her first movie recently. It bummed me out, but then I remembered… they have earned some “firsts.” They are here for us and are present in our girl’s life. They have scheduled “Papa and Gigi Sleepovers” for the rest of the year (yes, we all got our calendars out and scheduled that far out). They are intentional. They have earned some “watch her eyes light up” first experiences. I’m willing to give them that because they do so much for us… My MIL on the other hand? No. Not at the moment at least. She historically hasn’t made much of an effort to be very present. With me or my daughter. Not really even with my husband now that I think on it. She hasn’t earned any “firsts.” She’s welcome to come with us, but she hasn’t earned those experiences solo with my child as of yet.

 

[solatkarich]

@stm113 I wish I had this particular bit of knowledge when our children were young. Luckily, out of 5 children, only ONE was okay with spending time with their paternal grandparents. My MIL and FIL definitely didn't earn shit with our children. They were rarely there for us. They would talk about us being crappy parents IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN! My mother, fortunately, was always there for them. She and my older sister earned a lot of those "first" moments. They adored our children and the children (AND us!) KNEW that! Had I thought in this way that you mentioned, I think I'd have been much calmer with them in regards to "firsts".

 

[stm113]

@solatkarich Live and learn Glad it can bring some peace in hindsight.

 

[deadbeef]

@dezzy Your boy will still be thrilled to go to their breakfast with you, maybe even MORE excited because he is more knowledgeable now.

 

[takkula]

@dezzy One awesome thing about doing it for the second time is he can tell you all about it because he's done it before and you haven't! What a boost for him!

I'm sorry for your feelings though.

 

[giftlve]

@dezzy That’s so so cute, my son called the trash man the Mash! We’d run outside to watch the Mash!!

 

[ellie1142545]

@dezzy It's really tough to miss the firsts. Still take him later this month, he'll still love it!

 

[rgdouglass]

@dezzy Each experience is new and wonderful with different people.

 

[solatkarich]

@rgdouglass THIS!!!! It is 1,000% true!

 

[techprincess]

@dezzy I love your attitude & that clearly your family relationship is healthy enough that there’s no question MIL didn’t mean to harm you. It hurts, but man, you’re a good mom.

 

[lyssah]

@techprincess Agreed

 

[solatkarich]

@techprincess A B S O L U T E L Y ! ! ! !

 

[shannmisteri]

@dezzy Awww I feel this honey it makes me want to cry too. The first time my son saw firetrucks was at a parade and he was stunned silent with his hand up in a still wave. I was straight sobbing watching him enjoy the firetrucks. Missing seeing their joy is NOT easy.

 

[mfld]

@dezzy Mine calls them that too

 

[mabosede]

@dezzy Aww it’s definitely hard missing the firsts! But if it’s any consolation, we have seen the trash truck pretty much every Monday for the past 2-3 months and my son still gets just as excited to see if every time So I know you two will still have a great time at the firefighter breakfast!!

 

[nicktxdad]

@dezzy Not sure if this is an everywhere thing. But, mine has events called Touch A Truck.
They will have all different kinds of "trucks" in a large parking lot. First responsponder trucks and work type trucks.
Kids get to visit with the people that drive them and they let them get inside.

 

[emjay1985]

@dezzy I remember one time I brought my son to see the local train and I thought wow this is the first time he sees a real Choo Choo. Shortly after, I remembered a train goes right behind his daycare and they can see it from the side. Like multiple times a day. But he was still thrilled to see one with me. Anyway I preferred the routine of rocking my baby to bed every night more than the firsts. I hope you find your little joys.

 

[nessofonett05]

@dezzy I understand your sadness but you can still take him and it will still be special because it will be YOUR FIRST TIME WITH HIM. He won’t remember seeing them with her

 

[sweelmeister]

@dezzy Pick up cookies and bring them to the breakfast so your little can tell them thank you with the treat. Dollars to donuts they’ll love it, he’ll love it, and you’ll love it.