@wayofthepromise A friend and I were pregnant together in 2020. Genetic testing on theirs came back with two different trisomies. They faced the choice of abortion or carrying to stillbirth. Surviving to term was not an option. They chose to terminate in 2nd tri. There was a lot of therapy after that. Support groups. Time and space to heal. By the time they were trying again, Texas (where we live) had made that choice illegal and if it happened again, there would be a bounty on their heads. The grief cycle started all over again. Their second pregnancy was viable and they have a perfect little girl now, but it’s been such a hard road. She and I didn’t speak for months because my pregnancy was fine and hers was not viable and that just hurt too much. When she came by to borrow our camping gear, I met her in the driveway because even seeing the baby gear through our living room window would hurt too much.
My husband and I are thinking about a second, but I carry a genetic disorder. Part of me is like fuck the testing nothing I can do about it anyway. Part of me is like do all the testing and use airline miles racked up during the pandemic to fly to Colorado, California or Oregon if things go sideways.
My big worry is that access to birth control and the choice to sterilize are next.
@cewilder My heart breaks for your friend. It’s a choice that nobody wants to make I wish you the best of luck with your (maybe, fence sitting?) second and I’m glad that you have the resources to care for yourself if you needed to
I’m also worried. Wonder if I’ll be allowed to have a credit card next year too lol /s
@wayofthepromise We definitely want a second, but thank you for thinking of the fence sitters. I’m sure there are a lot of couples now wavering between waiting and fence sitting. We don’t want more than two. It’s a timing question. A benefits question. An age gap question. On the second kid front, I’m more concerned about getting pregnant before we’re fully ready and having to see that through no matter what. Our toddler is a 1st cycle unicorn child. My cycle has been back for over a year. I haven’t been on hormonal birth control since 2019. My body has been ready to go for a while. We’re not in that headspace though.
@cewilder Who do you worry will ban birth control/sterilization procedures? The Supreme Court is only able to rule on cases brought to them and typically they are very narrow rulings on purpose (obviously not the case with this current opinion). And nationally, the senate needs a 60 vote majority to move anything through (which is why the dems haven’t been able to move anything through, but good news is that means the republicans are unlikely to move things through either) that isn’t in a budget reconciliation and sterilization/BC wouldn’t be eligible for a budget reconciliation plan.
@wayofthepromise Too many words/emotions to articulate, grief sums it up pretty well as others have said
Also a bit of rage because fuck me, between everything our Supreme Court could focus on — carbon neutrality, pollution, taxing the ultra wealthy, a PANDEMIC (!!!), starving and homeless people, the foster system, indigenous peoples’ rights being trampled, just naming a few— this is it? A uterus? This is what you’re so concerned about? Rage.
@wayofthepromise I am so saddened and disgusted. They are now forcing births in a country that has the highest maternal mortality rates, doesn’t guarantee paid parental leave, doesn’t offer subsidized childcare and has healthcare that is hard for many to access, physically and financially. This is a war on women.
@karma777 They care more about grandstanding for an emotional (and largely religious) ideal than actually putting forth measure that reduce the need for abortion. Again, I want to vomit