I have no idea what to do and I’m scared

[psalm9]

My 13 year old son has searched for child porn twice on his phone, we had a very long conversation about it and the seriousness of what he had done, he said he didn’t know it was that serious and that he will never ever do it again, and since then he has not, but I am so worried about it. I don’t know what to do, I don’t leave him alone with his younger sibling as this has thrown me so much, he’s a lovely young man who sometimes struggles with boundaries, I think he is on the autism spectrum as sometimes he doesn’t seem to register other people’s emotions like my other children do, i love him very much but I am scared and sad and I don’t know who to talk to at all, any advice would be so so gratefully received x

 

[stuntman141]

@psalm9 Could you talk to a therapist? They could help guide you.

 

[cmatt25]

@psalm9 If he does it again or you find that he has been saving images, websites, or videos you should be more worried.
Kids get curious about things, especially at that age. And let's be real here, you gave him the phone knowing what it was capable of doing. Put restrictions on your child's device.
He most likely wanted to look it up because he heard of it and wanted to know what it actually was. Simply explaining these things to a child isn't always enough for them to understand the magnitude of the subject. If he actually found images or videos of children being abused and saw what it truly is he probably realized quickly it is not something he needs to be looking at.

I really hope it ends there and doesn't cause you too much grief.

 

[bronald]

@cmatt25 I agree with this advice. Parental controls are on devices for a reason. I removed safari and all video apps on my sons phone. I also set down times and set age parameters on apps. I’ve also loosened these parameters as he’s proven himself responsible and added them back when he’s tested the limits.

At 13, he may not understand what he’s searching for and using the only vocabulary he knows. If you continue to be concerned, please think about a therapist for him to talk to. Just stay vigilant and he’ll be ok. You are doing great as a parent.

 

[dirknolan]

@bronald Anyway you would be willing to make a post dedicated to parental controls. I'm tech savy but don't know where to begin.

 

[klwalsh85]

@psalm9 Could he have thought it was porn, for children? I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds so worrying

 

[el_nerdo]

@psalm9 IMO this is not as big of a deal as people make it. Every teenager is curious. If you explained to him why it’s serious and not a good idea and he promised not to do it again then you’ve done what you can do. I caught my son three times before he grew out of it and now he has better things to do (he’s 18, has a job, plays volleyball).

 

[davidml]

@el_nerdo I agree but I think he was searching for "child porn" which may be a problem. I'm guessing he was searching and since he's a child maybe searched for it that way, I hope.

 

[1000union]

@psalm9 He probably searched it because it's funny