I f**ed up!

@0st Careful about baths though. They don't need them every day otherwise their skin can dry out in a bad way.

Learned this one the hard way.

I just thought I was developing a bedtime routine.
 
@poppa51 This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think you did anything wrong. I don't know if I'm different, but I'll never NOT hear advice pertaining to the safety of my child. Not everything is common sense to me. I'm a first-time parent, and I'm still learning everyday. You were polite and helpful. She was the one acting like an asshole.
 
@nativepride I agree! The first time I baby wore In public by myself, my baby fell asleep and I convinced myself he was dead because maybe he was too warm in there and I had a panic attack in the middle of the store. If I was wearing him wrong, I would have been so thankful if someone told me
 
@poppa51 I think you did perfectly fine. There’s a difference between “what you are doing is unsafe” advice like what you did and “I know your child better than you even though I’ve never met them” advice like telling me my overheated baby is crying because she’s cold.
 
@ajs1342 omg this is exactly the example I gave to my husband! I said I would’ve understood if I asked her to turn her pram facing her vs the world cause it’s better or something ridiculous like this then yes that would’ve been inappropriate! But I genuinely did it with mg best interest at heart!
p.s.: husband thinks I am the AH and shouldn’t have approached her which makes me feel even worse!
 
@poppa51 So your husband would prefer you have a potential dead baby on your conscience? As others have said, even if her reaction was bad, if it led to her googling it when she got home and correcting herself, you might have saved the baby’s life. And also you have no idea how people are going to react so you have to put it out there in case they might be receptive.
 
@poppa51 As a FTM I also don’t think you did anything wrong. I think you phrased it in a really kind way. Don’t be too hard on yourself, she was probably either having a bad day or really embarrassed that it was obvious enough for someone to mention especially with her not being a FTM.
 
@poppa51 As a first time mom who struggled with figuring out a carrier I would have LOVED if someone did this (bc tbh I was always self conscious of how I had it even after reading multiple instructions and watching several videos) if my baby was at risk I would want to know!! Sure I’d maybe be a little embarrassed but if it helps baby I would be so grateful!
 
@poppa51 Let me share a story from my childhood with you:
I had a McK last name, and we were writing and I wrote Mck. My classmate with a McF name told me I was supposed to capitalize the K. I said “THAT IS NOT HOW MY FAMILY DOES IT, I know my own name duh” and that night when I got home I asked my parents if we capitalized the k, and of course they said yes. From then on, I knew the right way and did it correctly! I never did apologize to him or acknowledge he was right. But despite my defensiveness, I learned from the interaction and adjusted.

You didn’t f up, and the force that guided you to say something was maternal instinct. At WORST, you slightly bothered someone who deserved to be bothered. At best, you helped her realize she needed to make an adjustment (even if she didn’t want to admit it to your face). Sometimes I see really awful baby wearing and say nothing and then go around kicking myself the rest of the day thinking I should’ve said something.
 
@poppa51 To be honest, I look back and cringe at how I had my newborn baby in her carrier. I had no idea what I was doing, and it was really unsafe too. The day I found a group who gave informed advice on how to baby wear was when I realised I had been doing it really really wrong.

I don’t know, I guess it depends on how it comes across but I don’t think I’d have a problem with this if someone said it to me. That said, we all know in those tiny baby days we can be shells of ourselves sometimes, and act differently to how we usually would without the sleep deprivation etc. Maybe she was just having a hard day, maybe she was already being hard on herself and took it the wrong way.

Either way, it’s all good. You tried to do the right thing and it wasn’t well received - that’s okay! People clash sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You also may have planted a seed for her to look for herself and learn how to wear her baby correctly which would be a win all round.
 
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