I f**ed up!

@kiwiatheist If they gave you instructions manual, then as first step read it. Then (or if no manual), you can watch youtube videos (if you google the name of your carrier, official videos come up). You want baby to be strapped high - usually people say it should enough for you to be able to kiss their head (if you can't reach, they are too low). Baby back and neck should be supported by the carrier all the way down (if baby has a good neck control then can be just the back). In terms of baby's legs, you want the knees to be above hips and spread out (M position) and tighs supported by carrier. When worn facing you, baby should be in "chin up" position, the head should not be pointing down and face shouldn't be buried in your clothes. Speaking of clothes, you and the carrier add additional layers/heat to the baby, so when dressing to go out, take that into account, especially now that we are heading into spring and summer. When carrying the baby, check on them from time to time - not just the breathing, but also if the other parts like legs and hands are comfortable (sometimes babies position themselves a bit off or move while you walk and need to be readjusted). Hope your baby will be home with you soon and you will get to practice baby wearing as much as you want (for first few times it's not a bad idea to put the carrier on in front of a mirror so you can compare your positioning to how it looks online and adjust if needed).
 
@poppa51 My doula helped me understand how important the right and best carrier can be. With carriers becoming more popular I think OBs/midwives should include how to properly baby wear and what to look out for.
 
@poppa51 Is it possible she was feeding the baby? And that she was hostile because she didn't want it to be known (possibly due to unwanted attention in the past)?
 
@farandaway This was my thought too! I’m surprised more people aren’t commenting on this. With one of my carriers if I’m wearing the right nursing top, you can’t tell I’m feeding them - it just looks like baby is super low
 
@ubutyf I’ve breastfed in both my stretchy wrap carrier and ergo structured carrier! I’m sure some carriers are easier than others but I think it’s probably possible with most carriers. Here’s a linkon tips to breastfeed with the ergo carriers, but there are YouTube videos and tutorials for all sorts of carriers
 
@poppa51 I don’t see that you did anything wrong, this could be a safety issue. I obsessively studied about how to safely baby wear before doing so, but if I hadn’t and I was doing something wrong, I would love if a mom gently and respectfully corrected me, as it sounds like you did to this mom. It’s not about mom’s ego, it’s about baby’s comfort and safety, so I think you made the right call.
 
@poppa51 Do not feel bad!! idk how many times i had a mom tell me something that i didn't know and i was grateful, it just depends on the person. And I know personally if it was safety related (like positional asphyxiation!!!) i would never be able to live with myself if i didn't say something and something happened to their baby :(
 
@poppa51 I would feel just as bad as you saying it but it honestly needed to be said and hopefully make her think. I had a mom say something similar to me about the way I belted my LO into a carseat, and the strap holder wasnt all the way up on his chest.. At the time I thought "you bitch..I've had 3 hours of sleep and I don't need you judging me!"...after that I always remembered her comment when putting my babe in his seat and made sure to do it properly. After a car accident (where my son was perfectly fine BECAUSE HE WAS BUCKLED PROPERLY) I thank her mentally every time I get in the car.
 
@poppa51 It was a lovely thing to step in and offer advice to someone about the safety of the baby.

It was also totally understandable that she felt overwhelmed by a stranger going out of their way to tell her she did something wrong as a mom. God knows we passively and directly deal with that all the time. (I bet a dad wouldn’t have stopped to correct another dad on the street).

It’s just one of those no wrong answers/parties here situations.
 
@poppa51 This may not be the correct subreddit, but I’m going to go ahead and declare you NOT the asshole.

If something is being used unsafely you should always speak up
 
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