I am severely sleep deprived

[satan_loves_you]

My baby is 4mo now and since he’s been born, I’ve been doing all nights. Even before he was born, I’d say I was already sleep deprived while pregnant because I was HUGE. Since I was doing all his nights it didn’t take long for me to ditch the bassinet, and we currently bedshare (if you’re going to judge, please skip this post thanks). He naps no more than 30min so I can’t rest during the day, and I am back to work and staying w him. Overall, I think it’s amazing I still haven’t wrecked a car or caused any accidents. I am thinking of finding a night nanny for 1-2 nights so I can find at least some of my senses back, but I can’t manage leaving my baby in a separate room. Do you think it would be possible to have a night nanny and her come and attend my baby even though we’re in the same bed? Or do I have to suck it up and just do it help pls

 

[drturi]

@satan_loves_you No one here will be judging you, cosleeping/bedsharing is considered very safe and beneficial when done properly following the safe 7 rules.

4 months is a really rough phase, they have a sleep regression as they go through a developmental leap so babies at this age do not sleep well. Hopefully things settle down and sleep improves but it wasn’t the case for me, I’ve been in your situation, totally sleep deprived, I still am but things are so much better.

I think if you can get someone to help at night it’s a great idea, baby is young enough to hopefully easily accept a new person at night and it’s very important you can have a break. I hope you find someone you can trust to help out.

 

[satan_loves_you]

@drturi Thank you for this comment that felt more like a hug.

 

[drturi]

@satan_loves_you You’re welcome! Wishing you lots of rest over the holidays

 

[misselisa007]

@drturi New to this sub so apologies if I should know already, but where can I find the 7 safe rules? Looking for anything I can to make sure my little one is safe if we’re both asleep in bed.

 

[drturi]

@misselisa007 Just a quick google and you’ll find some great infographics bits here’s one to get you started.
safe 7

 

[misselisa007]

@drturi Thank you!

 

[mom123]

@satan_loves_you Yeah this is a rough stage. Do you have a partner? I’d do shifts if you can.

Is LO in daycare? Do you work remotely? Nap during the day.

 

[satan_loves_you]

@mom123 I have learned not to count on my partner for nights. He moved himself to the guest room since birth and there’s nothing I can do about it. We did therapy, talked, I asked, I’ve screamed, I begged… I’ve accepted that he doesn’t have empathy enough to bother to help. He does work long shifts 12h but he has paternity time left and wont take it. This is a whole other subject but I deeply resent my husband now for this unfortunately

 

[calledtodiscernment]

@satan_loves_you Just curious if the bed sharing is actually not giving you more sleep? Usually it helps both of you sleep better. Are you still not resting?

 

[satan_loves_you]

@calledtodiscernment I am afraid we’re going through the 4mo old sleep regression. We started bedsharing because I did get more rest but something shifted with him lately with naps and his sleep

 

[miguelblanco]

@satan_loves_you How often does bub wake overnight?
I feel you mama. I did hourly waking from 4mo - 7m with no day naps cause I just am unable to nap when it's day time, no matter how tired I am.
I don't know how I survived.

 

[youthpastor500]

@satan_loves_you 4 months is the hardest.

I do not think a night nanny would want to take baby out of your arms, out of your bed, at night. But I guess you can always ask around.

My suggestion would be to get daytime help and take a 4 to 5 hour nap during the day. This will also be cheaper.

AlSo, please do consider (partial) sleep training once baby starts solids. For your own mental health. Put baby into a side car, nurse him down, roll away, barricade him in, and give him a chance to practice sleeping alone. You go sleep on the couch for the first part of the night, then come back after you've had a one good 3-4 ish hour stretch of sleep and go back to co sleeping.

Independent sleep, if that's what helps you get rested, doesn't have to be all or nothing. And being rested will make a massive difference to both you and baby.

 

[oceanbreeze4evr]

@satan_loves_you Posts like these break my heart. I wish I could help!
My LO is six months and while we didn’t officially endure the four month sleep regression I would still say that time period was really rough.
Is your baby waking to feed? Just curious as to what is disrupting your sleep. For me it was the insomnia of not being able to get back to sleep myself after each feed. Sleep is great for both of us now. I take melatonin, magnesium, and sleep tea from trader Joes.
But to answer your question, I think you should absolutely hire a night nanny if that will help!

 

[satan_loves_you]

@oceanbreeze4evr Thank you, that’s very kind. Yes, he’s been preferring to do most of his feeds at night rather than day and I’m trying to change that. Although he has a full feeding he’s been waking up sometimes 1h30 just because…. I can’t nap even if someone is watching him, I’ve never been a nap person even if I’m terribly exhausted. Between feedings the same is happening to me as you, sometimes I can’t go back to sleep and I waste 2h that I could be potentially asleep I try to go to bed when he goes (7pm), but have a hard time falling asleep that early and usually can only go down 8:30-9:30

 

[oceanbreeze4evr]

@satan_loves_you I would try to focus on improving your sleep quality. It was my naturopath who got me on melatonin. She also suggested Gaba, but I haven’t tried that yet. I’m sure it isn’t the tea from trader Joes that is helping, but I don’t want to give it up just in case I also can’t nap during the day which is challenging. Part of my sleep deprivation in the beginning was because I was always so obsessive about trying to pump to increase milk supply whenever the baby napped. But I made peace with combo feeding, and realized that my mental health was better when I at least tried to rest.

 

[oceanbreeze4evr]

@satan_loves_you What time do you go to bed yourself? I sometimes sleep as early as 8pm… but I know that will ensure I get my needed sleep. Could you possibly do the same and get your partner to do last feeding of the night and then bring baby to you after?