I just got turned to this sub today, looking for advice. Altering names, fiancé Reddit's and I'm sure has no clue this sub exists, also doesn't know my username, but who knows.
We have been together for almost 5.5 years, and will have been for almost 7 by our wedding (Jun '17.) We've been living together since June '14.
We have many married/pregnant/parent friends and close family, but they really have not influenced our decision.
Before we took on long distance b/c of college year 2 of our relationship (neither of us graduated, for varying reasons but we didn't just "flunk out" and may go back) we laid all the cards out and figured out what each other wanted as far as marriage/children/future plans. We've been on the same page through most things and love each other so much, and I honestly can't wait because my clock started ticking about when I turned 16. Fiancé just now started getting excited and I'm elated...
Our problem comes mostly from his family. He has a 30y/o sister Jessica and a 27 y/o sister Katherine. Jessica and husband got married Oct '13 and Katherine and husband got married this past September. We got engaged on New Years Eve, my parents helped and gave us a beautiful dinner and recorded it, it was very sweet.
Almost instantly after sharing our news online, we got comments from different people in his family about how the "kids are all on a roll" and about how our weddings would all be in succeeding months had we had it when we WANTED to, which was August, right near our dating anniversary...
While preparing for Katherine's wedding, Jessica and I had our first real heart to heart talk, and she told me how upset she would be if I were to get pregnant before her. Her husband is just now warming up to the idea of kids, but I don't know that they're actively trying yet
...(Katherine and her husband are the opposite, her husband is a few years older and ready, and she's not. But fiancé's mom is. When discussing our wedding party, we told fiancé's mom that Jessica and Katherine would be our ushers, since that's all the more included fiancé was in their weddings. Even when they had people drop out of their wedding party, they chose to ask people that they liked/knew less, after teasing him about whether he would be included.
Fiancé's mom told us it wasn't a good idea because they might be pregnant or have kids by then..)
When fiancé told his parents he was going to propose, they made sure to mention that they, Jessica and Katherine all got engaged and married in their late 20's...
They would all have a point, except we waited to get engaged 3-5 years longer, will be engaged for 6 mo's to a year longer than all of them. We feel like we've waited long enough and are sure enough about each other that we shouldn't have to adhere to other people's time lines, but I feel like we're going to be constantly judged that we're not doing things "the right way."
I'm just so frustrated, if fiancé told me that we were going to stop using condoms and let what happens happen tomorrow, I would be over the moon. I want us to have a child so badly, and I really don't feel like I should have to wait for his sisters to have kids before it's considered "acceptable" for us to do so.
Help? What do you guys think? Sorry that was so long-winded.
We have been together for almost 5.5 years, and will have been for almost 7 by our wedding (Jun '17.) We've been living together since June '14.
We have many married/pregnant/parent friends and close family, but they really have not influenced our decision.
Before we took on long distance b/c of college year 2 of our relationship (neither of us graduated, for varying reasons but we didn't just "flunk out" and may go back) we laid all the cards out and figured out what each other wanted as far as marriage/children/future plans. We've been on the same page through most things and love each other so much, and I honestly can't wait because my clock started ticking about when I turned 16. Fiancé just now started getting excited and I'm elated...
Our problem comes mostly from his family. He has a 30y/o sister Jessica and a 27 y/o sister Katherine. Jessica and husband got married Oct '13 and Katherine and husband got married this past September. We got engaged on New Years Eve, my parents helped and gave us a beautiful dinner and recorded it, it was very sweet.
Almost instantly after sharing our news online, we got comments from different people in his family about how the "kids are all on a roll" and about how our weddings would all be in succeeding months had we had it when we WANTED to, which was August, right near our dating anniversary...
While preparing for Katherine's wedding, Jessica and I had our first real heart to heart talk, and she told me how upset she would be if I were to get pregnant before her. Her husband is just now warming up to the idea of kids, but I don't know that they're actively trying yet
...(Katherine and her husband are the opposite, her husband is a few years older and ready, and she's not. But fiancé's mom is. When discussing our wedding party, we told fiancé's mom that Jessica and Katherine would be our ushers, since that's all the more included fiancé was in their weddings. Even when they had people drop out of their wedding party, they chose to ask people that they liked/knew less, after teasing him about whether he would be included.
Fiancé's mom told us it wasn't a good idea because they might be pregnant or have kids by then..)
When fiancé told his parents he was going to propose, they made sure to mention that they, Jessica and Katherine all got engaged and married in their late 20's...
They would all have a point, except we waited to get engaged 3-5 years longer, will be engaged for 6 mo's to a year longer than all of them. We feel like we've waited long enough and are sure enough about each other that we shouldn't have to adhere to other people's time lines, but I feel like we're going to be constantly judged that we're not doing things "the right way."
I'm just so frustrated, if fiancé told me that we were going to stop using condoms and let what happens happen tomorrow, I would be over the moon. I want us to have a child so badly, and I really don't feel like I should have to wait for his sisters to have kids before it's considered "acceptable" for us to do so.
Help? What do you guys think? Sorry that was so long-winded.