I '18/F' need urgent help with birth control

S

sisterkat

New member
i am new to reddit so i apologize if my story is long. the part on where i need advice on birth control is within the last paragraph if you'd like to fast forward this horrible story in which i am stupid. today i had met up with my partner 'M/37. yes i am aware the significant age gap is inappropriate i really don't need the shame right now. he has 3 kids and 2 baby mommas. already off to a bad start. we had met up today and ended up having sex. to cut it long story short i believe the condom was broken and he is aware but is continuing to gaslight me because when i asked if we could get plan b he said no, brushed me off and dropped me home.

Now the birth control part. i recently had my period in which it ended yesterday. my tracking app says i'm expected to start ovulating in 10 days. i recently was given birth control because i have a cyst on my ovary which my doctor expressed it is nothing serious. i haven't started the pill yet because i am uneducated on it and i am scared of side effects long term because i do suffer from mental health issues and would not wish for them to be worse. the birth control is alysena and is 0.1/0.02mg. i do not have money to get a plan b. i recently got a job but i am awaiting for training. i do not want to start the birth control and risk making myself becoming pregnant. please anyone help or any doctors please advise me on if i should start the birth control now. i cannot support a baby financially i still live at home with my parents
 
@sisterkat Girl I think you need to really evaluate your relationship with this guy. He knows better , especially about birth control and contraception.

You have your whole life ahead of you
 
@getips most definitely. i have cut him off since because he clearly does not respect me and it hurts to know it took this happening to realize. i appreciate this
 
@sisterkat No problem ! Good thing you realized before it’s too late. Keep your head held high. You’ll find someone who respects you and your body. Not these creepy clowns.
 
@sisterkat If you don't got the money ask a friend or anyone you can to lend you some money. Say that you are working, if you don't want to say the real reason create something related to work like I need to buy my uniform or something. And say that you will get the money back from the work.
 
@sisterkat Get a plan B now if you believe the condom broke, you have 72 hour window and the sooner you take it the better. it’s too late to start birth control after the fact, start once you’re feeling ready. Take a pregnancy test in three weeks for a definitive answer. Good luck! hope you cut off this guy he sounds like a major red flag and you deserve better.
 
@diggem thank you so much. i unfortunately do not have money for a plan b currently but i believe i can pull money for it. i asked if he could buy it into which he gaslighted me and took me home. i have since cut him off
 
@sisterkat my rule for myself is I’m not having sex unless I have the funds/ability to access an abortion if needed, there’s always a risk when sexually active even with protection so this is something you should consider since you’re so young! you likely be okay but taking a plan B will lower your chances of pregnancy significantly
 
@diggem i will most certainly be going forward to being sexually active with funds. i am new to sex and i feel as though i was completely irresponsible and rational today. i haven’t had much guidance from my parents when it comes to sex cause it’s just something that isn’t spoken about in my household. i hate the stress of all of this but going forward i will 100% be more responsible and respectful towards myself when it comes to dating or sexual partners. i have got in contact with someone who is willing to provide me a plan b so thank you so much for your response i genuinely appreciate it
 
@sisterkat Be aware that you have to take plan B as soon as you can. The more hours pass the more ineffective it becomes. You basically have 72 hours. Also, plan B doesn’t work for everyone. If you’re above 155-165 pounds it is most likely not going to work. Unfortunately there is a weight limit, which is really stupid. Another thing to note is that even if you start your birth control pills, you won’t be safe for the first week. It isn’t until after that first week that you’re safer from unprotective sex.
 
@offor thank you for your response. you have answered my big concern on starting the pill my concern was it not being effective on the first week. my doctor didn’t inform me on any side effects on taking the pill nor instructed me on how i should go about taking it. this comment has informed me plenty and i am looking into plan b thank you so so so much
 
@sisterkat If you get a prescription for plan B from your doctor your insurance will cover it (at least in New York). Additionally, if you go to a local pharmacy (not a big chain like rite aid or CVS) they often sell generic Levonorgestrel for $15 instead of $50. I’m not sure why but this is the case at the local pharmacies in New York City.

There are two forms of emergency contraceptive pills you can take. Plan B (Levonorgestrel) is available over the counter and will work best within 72 hours of unprotected sex. Ella (Ulipristal) is only available via prescription and can be taken within 5 days of unprotected sex. Ella is more effective but it’s probably better to take whatever you can access fastest.

Importantly, do not take plan B and Ella around the same time, as they will make each other ineffective. Similarly, do not take Ella and birth control as it will make Ella ineffective. I don’t know about plan B and your birth control, but you need to research it heavily before you take both.

Basically, for now, just take 1 emergency contraception pill and nothing else.

You will most likely not get pregnant. The morning after pill is very effective when taken prior to ovulation.
 
@sisterkat question, do you think he intentionally broke it? if he did that or took it off, you didn’t consent to unprotected sex, which means he technically sexually assaulted you. Go get tested as well, because he can very well give you an STI.

Second and ik this is personal so you don’t have to answer, when did you start talking to this man? if it was when you turned 18, fine. the age gap is still a bit icky but I was a dumb 18 year old not that long ago myself, doing similar things. if it was before, or he knew you before, it could also be considered predatory.

im not sure if planned parenthood has plan b but if you have one go ask them. or even ask to talk to a pharmacist privately, they may be able to help you. best of luck
 
@williamfloyd firstly thank you so much for your response i genuinely needed this. he didn’t intentionally break the condom but i have plenty of suspicions. prior to us meeting that he intended to have unprotected sex. i steered convo into us going to the store to pick up some condoms in which we got them together. during sex he didn’t take the condom off. after sex the condom looked empty and he claimed to had finished(so sorry if this is tmi)
secondly we had met a month ago. i turned 18, 8 months. but you are very right the age gap is very gross his oldest child is 10 i am 8 years older then her which icks me out. i am looking into planned parenthood as i type this. but to put all of this at ease i have since cut him off after today because what he did and how he reacted genuinely showed me he does not value me at all
 
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