I’ve got a good one for you guys…“Daddy what’s this sticky stuff?”

sowhatwithit

New member
Small background, my son is roughly three and a half. He sleeps in his bed and I sleep on a trundle on the floor next to his bed. Mom currently spends her nights with the 9 month old. I sleep in his room with him because he’s got some anxiety issues (ped legit told us she would diagnose him with clinical anxiety but they don’t diagnose people with that until they are 8). Anyway…

He’s been sick today, fever of 102. Found out from Facebook one of his classmates just got diagnosed with COVID so likely that but not confirmed. We go to sleep and he’s waking up all night, asking for water, generally not feeling good, etc. I’ve had plenty of these nights so it’s no big deal.

Well about 45 minutes ago he wakes up and says “daddy what’s this sticky stuff?” and in the shadows I see him reaching his hand to me. Me, half asleep I respond “what sticky stuff” and proceed to reach out to grab or feel whatever it is he’s got in his hands. I grab what’s in his hands and proceed to test the physical properties of it with my hand and fingers, quite confused, for about 3 seconds before the smell hits me. Little dude just handed me part of a turd.

I go from half asleep to 1,000% awake in a fraction of a second and into full blown crisis mode of trying to keep him from touching anything. His bed is FULL of stuffed animals and he’s very attached to his things so I didn’t want any compromises there. I grab him and rush him to the bathroom and start to strip him. There’s shit on his legs and he’s realized what it is and starting to freak out.

Also I totally just blasted him from dark room to full on bright bathroom lights and he’s not happy about that.

He’s screaming for mom, I’m trying to do shit damage control as if my life depends on it, all the while dodging his shit covered hands and keeping him from touching anything.

Now, as terrible as the night is, this is the point where I should really count my blessings it didn’t get worse. My son has a VERY sensitive gag reflex and between his screaming and coughing I start to hear that oh so familiar gag sound. He has literally puked from the smell of his own shit before, and I can see it coming again. I’m seconds away from adding a lot of puke to this situation (check my post history, I asked a question about it here, dude pukes A LOT). I immediately yell “Buddy we’re doing mr fox breathing game right now! MR FOX WHAT TIME IS IT THREE BIG BREATHS GO!” Some how I managed to re-direct enough to save myself from getting puked on too.

I’ve got him stripped, I’m vigorously washing both our hands, his lower half is still covered in shit so I tell him to play with the water while I clean him up.

I get him cleaned and changed, and put him in the trundle. I looked briefly and didn’t see any shit in the bed, but I’ll figure that out in the morning. I toss a section of this foam play thing he has on the floor at the end of the trundle to sleep on, and grab a blanket and pillow from my room and here we are.

Man, the 0 to 1,000 of half asleep to shit crisis mode is a really undesirable rush I can deal with out. I got two hours of sleep last night (I took the 9 month old last night to give the wife a break. Yes, he’s a terrible sleeper) and I’m probably on 2 hours so far tonight, but I don’t see myself falling back asleep. To amped up.

Hope everyone is having s better night than me.
 
@mamabear2000 Hahahaha! It’s like a school yard game, I had never heard of it until he played it at school, but we re-purposed it to get him to calm down some times because he likes it so much. When he’s upset or having a melt down usually we say “what time is it mr fox?” He will say a number, and then we will all do that many big breaths.

Didn’t have time in the heat of the moment to have him pick a number so I just put things in over drive haha!
 
@sowhatwithit Yeah, sounds like a rework of "what's the time Mr. Wolf?", it was a game we used to play a lot when I was a kid in the UK (sounds like your kid's school might've changed it to a less scary fox lol). For anyone unfamiliar, one kid plays Mr Wolf and faces away from the group of others who stand a distance away, the group shouts the titular line and Mr Wolf replies with a time, group takes that many steps towards Mr Wolf (e.g. 4 o'clock means take 4 steps), one of the times Mr Wolf shouts "dinnertime" and will turn and chase the group and whoever they catch becomes the new Mr Wolf in the next round. Since we're on daddit I will point out this game can be seen in the Bluey episode Shadowlands lol
 
@christian_interview One of the best parts of taking my daughter to rugby tots was getting to join in playing "What Time Is It Mr Rugby Tot" with her. Took me back to my childhood, but even better because I got to see her beaming face playing the game.
 
@christian_interview Aye. Mr. Wolf was one of my favourite games growing up, and one I was surprised to find they didn't have in the US when I moved here. (Along with a lot of party games.)

I'll be playing it with my daughter at her birthday in a few weeks
 
@fyvon we played the mr. fox version, learned it from neighbors who went to public school (we were homeschooled). im in the US. i wonder if its just more regional here
 
@sowhatwithit We used to play what's the time Mr wolf and then count steps and the person saying the numbers out loud would chase the other kids.

Also I thought me catching my daughter's vomit in my hand was impressive. Like damn, look at you!
 
@anonymitycodeboanerges When we brought our first newborn home, a friend texted me a day later asking how it was going. I replied:

“Our definition of ‘clean’ vs. ‘soiled’ has changed dramatically in the last 24 hours.”
 
@sowhatwithit Mate, trust me, the absolute easiest way to deal with a big blowout is to just take the kid straight into the shower and strip off in there. Then when both you and him are clean, you can deal with the bedding.
 
@evenif I was thinking about this in hindsight, but our house is unique in that the electric hot water heater is out in the garage so it takes a solid 5+ minutes before the water gets warm. Thanks for the tip though, probably I could have at least turned the shower on and then rinsed his hands while waiting for it to warm up.
 
@thekla Tell me about it. It’s such a waste of water too. In the mornings getting ready I’ll turn on the shower and then go make breakfast and like pack the kids lunch and then go back and it will finally warm.
 
@sowhatwithit There are this shower head heaters, used a lot in brazil, that you plug into the end of the shower pipe and will heat water instantaneously. They heat water with electricity, so kind of expensive, but if you are using it for just the first 5 minutes, should be ok
 
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