I’m able to handle more than my only on occasion because I’m not stretched too thin

[catlover88]

I occasionally get to play “mom” to multiple kids since i’m not mentally or physically stretched too thin in everyday parenthood.

This past weekend, I texted a friend whose husband recently underwent major surgery. The friend was/is nursing him around the clock. O offered to watch their child (another only!) to get her off their hands for a while, when the mom said she couldn’t leave her husband long enough to bring their daughter over. No problem! I was able to go get her from their home and bring her back to ours.

She and my son had a blast, they made pizzas for dinner, ran around outside, did crafts, and generally just had such a fun time. It was much louder and messier with double the kids but it felt so good to be able to help a friend out and not feel like it put me over the edge mentally or physically to have two kids.

Just remember, if anyone makes you feel bad for heeding your personal limit and having only one kid, that self-preservation might allow you to show up for kids in a variety or other ways (if you want- there is no obligation to do so; remember that, too!)

I just know for me personally, I like the freedom oad gives me to say “yes” to things that otherwise might be financially, mentally, physically or emotionally too much (volunteering with youth, extra play dates, helping mom friends…).

 

[everette16]

@catlover88 I love your perspective!

 

[john146wtl]

@catlover88 Absolutely love this perspective! Thank you for sharing.

 

[myheart]

@catlover88 Awesome story, thanks for sharing it! And kudos lending a hand, your friend is lucky to have you.

 

[warriorcatsbooklover]

@catlover88 Agree very much, a happy mum is a healthy and available mum

 

[ronaldus]

@catlover88 I’m so looking forward to this when my baby is older! You’re a great friend.

 

[whatgoeshere]

@catlover88 Absolutely to this! Good job, I'm sure they really appreciated it! We are leaning OAD because we are godparents / backup godparents/ the village to multiple friends/kids. I dont need more kids myself, I'd rather be their village.

 

[shammysdad]

@catlover88 I’m helping out a friend who has a 2 year old and a 10 week old, last week I managed to give her 20 minutes to herself while juggling my 10 month old too , but I am so happy I am able to help give her some peaceful nursing time while I entertain the toddler

 

[zangella]

@catlover88 That's wonderful! I'm hoping with my decision to be oad as my daughter becomes less dependent and hopefully sleeps more at night I can be a better part of the village for my friends.

As it is one person I know suggested a babysitting swap and I am like.... I am not confident in my ability to take care of two babies at the same time sorryyyy

 

[betterorworse]

@catlover88 Gosh I am leaning so hard towards being one and done, but I know my partner wants them to have a sibling. It’s ultimately my choice but that is definitely influencing my decision a bit. However I don’t even have the one, so whenever I do have them I will reevaluate.

 

[catlover88]

@betterorworse It’s always okay to change your mind/stance as things change! Keep an open mind if you’re on the fence and make a decision that feels right for you when the time comes. We usually say it’s a “2 yes, 1 no” around here so make sure you’re on board for 2 if that’s what you guys decide.

 

[tuckertwo]

@catlover88 Love this! I am firmly OAD though because they can absolutely be overstimulating and chaotic, but I enjoy that if I do want some more kids around for a bit (I love kids, I was a preschool teacher before I became a mom), I can just take my friends' kids for a while lol. And I can give them back when I need things to quiet down again I get my kid fix, and they get a break. It's a win-win.

 

[joakeem]

@catlover88 Yes! We have one son who's 4, and I am able to help out others so much more compared to my friends with multiple kids. We are truly needed!

 

[samalematina]

@catlover88 I love this perspective! I completely agree. I like being able to say yes or no to situations like this. If I don’t feel like I can mentally watch two kids then I don’t.

 

[fby]

@catlover88 We had a family of 3 stay with us after their house burned down (parents and their 3 year old) we would often watch each others kid for each other if we had errands to run or just needed a little break. I learned even though i could handle two, i feel better and less stretched out with my one.