How would you respond to this?

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@edwina87 The latter, 100%. I’m always waking her up in time but getting cooperation meaning her to actually wake up takes so much time and I’m so gentle and I’m trying multiple times over and over and then we’re OK in terms of being on time but every step of the process takes so long.

 

[edwina87]

@ajewelinhiscrown May be time to up the intensity a bit.

 

[melanie2002]

@ajewelinhiscrown What does your bedtime routine look likes? When does it start? What boundaries do you have in place for a kid that gets out of bed, comes out of their room, tries to play with electronics etc after lights out? When is dinner? When does screen time end? Do you understand what your nephews schedule looks like? Do you realise that his actions are a result of his parent's parenting choices?

 

[jcpindy75]

@ajewelinhiscrown Honestly, every response OP has given is making up excuses and taking zero accountability. Not even a little. “I make my wife’s coffee” was one of the excuses. Okay? Then stop. Take all electronics/distractions/fun away and make her go to bed by 8 pm. In the morning, give her a warning, but if she does not listen, do not given her the option. Physically get her out of bed and show her who is in charge. She is 5 years old! I have nannied many kids younger and older than 5, all with many different personalities, and you have to be stern and not let them dictate the family’s schedule.

 

[ttolainchrist]

@ajewelinhiscrown Is your wife supporting you in the morning? Three kids is a lot for one person. Especially if they oldest isn’t wore quite self sufficient yet.

 

[mark2020]

@ajewelinhiscrown I think you should take the school up on what help they may be able to offer, they’re getting in touch before the issues become a bigger problem. It seems to be an area you’re struggling with so it’s a good thing they have done. We have similar support in the uk to help out if they think families are struggling with things.

 

[annemoon]

@ajewelinhiscrown I would let the school know about younger siblings and ask for their patience as you work through this SUPREMELY SHITTY AND AWFUL TIME. Goddamn, you have my sympathy. I have 4 all born within 2-3 years of each other and my older kids are - just as bad as the little ones about getting anywhere on time.

What I do - 735. At 735 we are leaving. Come hell or high water. The vehicle is loaded and we are on our way. What this basically means is that I have to bust my ass to get 5 people out the door (6, because my husband still doesn't set an alarm after 15 years together.)

Sleepless nights will abate, I promise.

I pride myself on being on time, doesn't always happen, but it's a character trait I have to instill in my kids. It's relatively to implement once you're on a path.

 

[twilliam]

@ajewelinhiscrown I’m sorry that so many people are offering advice that you didn’t come here for. Mom groups, in my opinion, are the literal worst places to get advice from. I might suggest posting this in a different sub, you might get some useful information/advice. I’ll dig around and edit once I have some suggestions. Parent groups are so damn toxic, it’s irritating.
Edit: suggestions

r/ECEprofessionals

 

[edwina87]

@twilliam You need to redefine toxic. The advice given was due to the fact that there’s nothing wrong with the teachers email and the best way to respond is by getting your kid to school on time.

 

[ajewelinhiscrown]

@twilliam Thank you so much for this. I was never blaming my kid for not being on time as some people inferred; I was just saying it’s mild chaos getting everyone out the door in time. Frequently my wife is on a work call so I’m doing everything myself. I do get up early. I do prep everything. I feel like my dad who used to be constantly telling my brother and me that we were going to be late only now I’m the dad and I’m “on time” while I’m managing my kids who are going to be late because I’m trying and trying to get them to cooperate and they’re not for whatever reason.

Also, there’s five minutes late when other kids are still going into the school and then there’s 30 minutes late when everyone is already in school and we’re the only ones arriving; we’ve only been 30 minutes late 3 times in the last three months. I am trying my best here. Will check out your sub. Thank you.

 

[carmenjones]

@ajewelinhiscrown But said with as much kindness as I can…EVERYONES kids don’t cooperate. You’re not alone in this. Literally everyone has struggles with their kids before school in the AM. But everyone has to figure out how to make it happen, to give their kids the best start to the day, to lessen the stress on everyone, and to build healthy habits. I promise you that 0% of the kids arriving on time are perfect angels that do everything themselves and the parents barely have to do anything. We are all dealing with kids who aren’t listening to us, kids getting distracted, kids having to poop as we are walking out the door. So, there may be some really helpful advice in some of these other comments, because they’re coming from people who have/have had the same struggles as you, and who have figured it out. Best of luck to you.

 

[wilsonpj]

@ajewelinhiscrown So, change your perspective. School doesn't start at 8:30am anymore. School is now at 8am. You now have to be there at 8am. You have to be *out the door* at 7:45. Or, whatever. Move school's start time up, for you and your kid, by 15-30 minutes.

Being on-time to school, matters. It matters now, and it will only matter more in the coming years. Being tardy by 5 minutes may not seem like a big deal, and maybe it's not. Occasionally. But everyday? That's a big deal. And being late by 30 minutes occasionally? That, from the school's perspective, is not coming at all.

 

[katrina2017]

@ajewelinhiscrown It is HARD getting out the door with littles! Mine are 10,8,6 now and it’s still like Pirates of the Caribbean around here. Please let your brother out of the headlock - he needs to go brush his teeth. Get off the island! I don’t care if you’re a kittycat. Get off the island NOW.

The perfect sanctimommies can downvote me all
they want. Bless your hearts.

 

[forgiven_ent]

@katrina2017 I have 4. I am probably the least disorganized person on the face of the planet. We still manage to get to places on time because it’s rude to not. If OP can’t follow the guidelines and schedules set by the school than perhaps they should homeschool. That isn’t me being petty that being honest. If we can’t keep up with the way other people do things then we need to find ways to do them differently. How do lots and lots of other parents at that school manage to get their kids there on time? If everyone just set their own schedule for what suited them - there would be chaos.

 

[st2288]

@ajewelinhiscrown How I would respond might be “Yes, but I’m not sure how you could help…”And tell them honestly what’s going I guess, but that really depends on the teacher and other staff who might be involved in reviewing the situation. Maybe try talking to them on the phone or in person if you’re not sure.

Whatever you do don’t put it on your 5yo when relating the issues though unless you phrase it in a way that shows you know it’s on you “I’m having a hard time getting _____ to wind down at night and get enough sleep. Suggestions welcome.” It really is up to us parents to help them get enough sleep. I’m bad at this too. I feel terrible. And I can unfortunately 100% relate to all of this. It suuucks. I get it. And I only have two kids! There are some great ideas in here. Thank you for asking here. Ignore the judgy aspect of some of these comments. Most are still trying to help and “tough love” works for them and think it will help you too. Please try to listen to the good advice in there and ignore any judgment. A lot of is true even if it’s rude. I say this as someone struggling with the same problem!

Also don’t take this wrong, just trying to help by thinking outside of the box (I guess), but if you have ADHD or another issue that might make it hard to keep yourself and kiddos on track? You don’t need to answer this, but I do and so does my partner, which is why I ask. Also so does our 6yo. And I too was the kid who never slept at night and couldn’t get get up in the morning. And never got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and that might have been life-changing to get the right support early. Sadly now I’m the adult backsliding into it. I get up extra early often though and then somehow like a huge mess or three will happen while I’m getting my shoes on or some other dumb thing that takes an 20 minutes to clean. Then we’re late. Anyway if you do have these issues, maybe look into help with managing that, counselor, life coach, get meds if needed.

I believe we can do better for our kids! It doesn’t feel like it, but we can. Just know you’re not alone.