How to mentally prepare to be a SAHM

[doubtingdisciple]

I got my flexible working request back. Let's say the company is not flexible at all.
It's actually a really big Well known brand but they just don't care about their employees

I asked for 3 days a week, one day in office.
Pretty standard for new mums in my line of work

I got a letter back to say they decline because the workload had increased.
Talking to colleagues what had happened was that we didn't hit our target last year and because of that , the c e o decided to shout at everyone to the point some people cried. A whole batch of people made redundant just before Christmas (4th batch in 2 years) and so their workload is now on us.
My work from leaving for maternity leave has increased 500% (from 2 companies to manage to 9)

I must come to the office 4 days a week (2hr journey both ways) and working the full time hours. Means I am leaving work at 4:30am and home for 9pm

This is despite me saying I have a breastfed baby who refuses a bottle.

So.... as a gal whose worked since the age of 14 and I am now 30... how do I change my mindset to accept I am going to be a SAHM or kill myself doing a job for people I hate

 

[bioethicsdoc]

@doubtingdisciple I’m a SAHM and was forced to quit when I was 30. Quite honestly, it’s been tough. If I could do this over again, I would be a SAHM for 18 months and then have my kiddo join daycare and get back in the workforce.

So, start looking at daycares NOW. I made the mistake and now my toddler has been on 5 waitlists for 2.5 years now. I’m still a SAHM and slowly losing my mind I am desperate to get back to work but not until I find a quality daycare for my son.

I believe knowing there’s a deadline (for example, 18 months) would have helped mentally. Currently I feel like I am slowly drowning and I’m stuck in a never ending loop. I love my son SO much but I also wish he was with other kids playing and being engaged.

 

[tomorrowtoday]

@doubtingdisciple Maybe you could be a SAHM temporarily and decide if it’s right for you. You would still have the option to search for work from home jobs in your career.

 

[cbviau]

@doubtingdisciple Give yourself time to decompress from your insanely stressful job. You deserve it.

As someone who’s 29 and has also worked since age 14, I’m about to be a SAHM (due in May) and did quit my job a few months ago for very similar reasons - the last few months I have had to decompress have done wonders for my mental health. The biggest thing that my partner and I have talked about is that me being SAHM does not mean that I’ll do majority of the parenting or be expected to do housework. My 9-5 job will be providing safety and nutrition to baby. And once his 9-5 job is done daily, we split parenting and household duties at evenly as possible.

 

[kakuehl]

@doubtingdisciple Being a SAHM is still work. It's demanding, sometimes you'll love it or hate it, and it can be fun, but that's true of many corporate jobs too.

Your current situation sounds truly awful / a long commute and horrible boss. Take the win and get those hours back in a day to spend with your kid.

 

[paladin6]

@doubtingdisciple I would say think of this new chapter as a job too- cause it is one!! It’s a 24/7 job you never clock out of. And it’s your responsibility to make sure your baby is most well cared for, most loved baby.

Motherhood for me atleast, has been the hardest job I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t add an extremely stressful job on top of it. If you can’t be good within yourself, then you will be half assing both jobs. If you have the opportunity to fully commit all of yourself to your baby then do that. They are such fragile beings, and their mom is their entire world and comfort!!