How to deal with the dread

[naka90hara]

Last night while discussing our day with my husband we got on the subject of school and the future for our right now 3 year old. I have had this plan in my mind for a while now 2 days preschool, 4 days pre-k, then ready for full time kindergarten. Suddenly the dread of not being able to keep them safe. The fact that elementary schools have shootings hit me so hard I started panicking and switching up my whole 10 year plan/dreams to how to home school. I go back to I feel confident I can do elementary school in homeschooling and keep them on track. I start changing, all in my head, what kind of house to look for into a nomad lifestyle (which I love but have reservations about). I start rethinking my dreams for my future of when they would start going to school. In two seconds I’ve given up going back to early education and the idea of opening up my own daycare for their safety.

There wasn’t even a school shooting yesterday and it hit me so freaking hard. I know this will change again and I’ll calm down but I am a wreck right now about our future.

 

[melekmikayel]

@naka90hara Homeschooling is a valid option for many families for many reasons and while I completely hear (& share!) your concern about school shootings in the US- I just don’t see homeschooling as the solution. The way I look at it is that shootings are happening everywhere: malls, theaters, churches, grocery stores, concerts, parades, ringing the doorbell of the wrong house…. is the solution to eliminate all of these things from our lives as well? This is why I am personally actively involved in several gun sense lobby groups so that the entire system changes and the country becomes safer as a whole, not just trying to avoid when and where a shooting might happen. Because you almost literally can’t.
Statistics by and large point to guns and their relatively easy accessibility being the problem here. Feel free to let me know if you’d like more information on groups working to tighten gun access in the US.

That said, if homeschooling still feels like the right option for you, I’d suggest reaching out to your local library because they may have information on homeschooling in general, connections to local homeschooling groups, and will definitely have resources you can use to facilitate homeschooling without shelling out your own money.
Take care, mama- I know this is hard

 

[naka90hara]

@melekmikayel See and that is my other side that says we just have dangers in this world. That I shouldn’t be overprotective or stop them from doing things they want and are part of healthy development.

I’ve heard parents talking about those groups at the library but didn’t want to butt into their conversation. I will definitely be looking into them. More options are better.

 

[ladybee]

@naka90hara I'm not sure how to deal with it. I'm currently trying to process the situation and what exactly I want to do about it. Or rather, what are realistic options for our lives? It's not just the shootings but the bullying and one size fits all education that is offered.

I was thinking I could send my eldest to pre-K since it's partial days and we can kind of test the waters. As it turns out, it's 5 days a week and full days like they are in elementary school. That's insane to me. I hate all of it.

 

[naka90hara]

@ladybee Right? There is a lot I have issues with our current public school system even though I have faith in what the system can be and should be.

Our system offers 10 hours of free pre-k so I’m hoping they don’t hold us to full time. Starting the preschool search this spring.

 

[marky93]

@naka90hara As someone else located in the US, this is definitely a concern of mine too. I still have time to “get over” the dread since my baby is only five months, so I don’t really have any advice for you on how to “deal with” the dread but I did want to say that it’s okay to change your future plans to homeschool! Obviously we can’t keep our babies safe and inside our home forever, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to keep them safe in our homes just a little bit longer, especially when they’re that young. And for what it’s worth, I have 14 nieces/nephews and 11 of them were home schooled up until high school and they all excelled when they got to traditional school. My local community also has a homeschool “co-op” where the homeschooled families meet up once a week to ensure everyone is on the same track and they collaborate on a weekly project. This way you still get the socialization that people worry homeschool kids wouldn’t get. Maybe your local community has one too.

 

[naka90hara]

@marky93 That is my thinking too. That it’s just an extra way to keep them safe but I also never want my anxieties to hold them back. It’s totally back and forth with me and probably will be for years.

 

[yaoshi]

@naka90hara Not sure where you are located, but my son is a 1st grader at a public school in the US. They LOVE having parent volunteers in the classrooms!! Since kinder, I’ve gone into his classroom at least one day a week to help. This way, I feel comfortable with knowing what goes on in his classroom, have gotten to know his teachers well, alone with the other kiddos and school staff.

This has made me feel SO much more comfortable with him in school! As a SAHP, you’d have the opportunity to do the same!

 

[captainrogers20]

@naka90hara I definitely think you have to do what works for you and your family. My local public schools, feel pretty safe. They all have locked doors except the front which only opens to a hallway with more locked doors. All people need to be buzzed in.
That being said all places still pose a risk, and we will change plans if needed.
Look into your schools, see how they address safety before you make a final decision!

 

[naka90hara]

@captainrogers20 Thank you. I will definitely be doing research.