How do you make it through the first year?

[shanaynay]

I’m drowning without consistent sleep. My 9mo wakes 2 times on a rare good night and 4+ times other nights so an most night I sleep 9:30-12:30, 1-3, 3:30-5, 5:30-7. He nurses back to sleep easily most nights and we often cosleep from 5-7.

I don’t want to sleep train. But I’m also not sure I can make it much longer on this schedule. How do you do it? Just suck it up and survivor? I wake up every morning exhausted and also feeling guilty and like it’s my fault I’m exhausted because I could just sleep train like everyone I know did and then I wouldn’t be so miserable.

Signed,
How does anyone survive this

 

[rodofmoses]

@shanaynay One word of advice from a fellow mom with a barnacle baby (7.5 m). Take out any and all clocks in the room. Don't check your phone. Take off the fit bit watch if you have one.

The less you know about when exactly you wake up, the better off you'll be.

My baby wakes me up 7+ times a night. We bedshare on the floor because of her frequent night waking. It honestly helps not knowing exactly what time this all happens

Hang in there. I'm in the trenches with ya

 

[hunter_collins]

@rodofmoses Best advice ever. No clock or phone is a game changer

 

[praisehisname9]

@rodofmoses My son is 18 months now and just now he started to sleep somewhat okayish.
It was especially hard between 6 and 12 months and that was where I stopped tracking his sleep in Huckleberry and stopped looking at the clock at night. It really helped when my husband asked how often baby woke up and I just said: I have no idea.

 

[rodofmoses]

@praisehisname9 Yup. This is me. No idea how many times she nursed, couldn't really say when she woke up or how many times.

It does help a lot actually. Ignorance is bliss. You'll know when you had a bad night or not. No need to know HOW bad it was lol

 

[helovesweedmore]

@praisehisname9 Mine is 18 months now and still wakes frequently to feed (2-3 times a night). The other night he only woke once for milk (win!) although he woke up again just to pat my face saying "Mama..." and drifted back off to sleep. Can't complain about that!

 

[tderose]

@rodofmoses Best advice- if you truly don’t want to sleep train then take away anything that tells you time. That’s how I got through the thick of it. I now know the time and was thankful during my PPD that I didn’t. You just end up focusing on it and the blame game starts.

 

[afiadoma]

@rodofmoses This is seriously good advice. Looking at the light on the clock doesn't help with sleep, AND it's for sure going to cause anxiety. "Great, only X more hours until my alarm goes off." -- I never look at the clock and I'm glad. It really, really does help.

 

[iaian]

@rodofmoses Curious, has anyone stopped tracking if they don’t bedshare? My babe is up every 1.5 hours and usually falls back asleep on my breast immediately. I then wait 10ish mins to put her back in crib (any sooner and she’s back up!). Sometimes I’m like “ok it’s been ten mins” and I look at my phone and it’s been 2 minutes lol.

 

[shendude]

@shanaynay Maybe just try co sleeping all night?

 

[vinhhali]

@shendude We bed share to survive and it definitely helps (can’t imagine what would be happening without it) but more nights than not, she is latching to nurse every hour due to teething. It’s a long night and a light sleep. The exhaustion never ends.

 

[confused_guy]

@shendude Cosleeping all night is what got me sleep.

Also, I would often go to sleep with the babe at 7 or 8 on my super tired days.

 

[francinekomla]

@shanaynay For us, what helped was make sure his belly was really full before bed. That meant a bowl of baby porridge and an extra bottle right before bed. He just wasn’t staying full enough from being purely breast fed. It was a life changer.

 

[afiadoma]

@francinekomla Absolutely!

I keep an "emergency banana" on my nightstand just in case my 12 month old wakes up hungry. There have been many nights where I've been sooo glad I had a snack readily accessible. He eats them when he's half asleep and drifts back off to sleep with no issues. 10/10 recommend.

 

[eknd]

@afiadoma Emergency banana on the bedside table is how I got through my first trimester so I relate to your baby

 

[afiadoma]

@eknd That's beautiful, thanks for affirming the power of this divine fruit

 

[joeparis123]

@shanaynay It's so, so hard.

 

[billthecableman]

@shanaynay I went to bed at 8. My partner dealt with anything until 11 and after 4.30 as he woke up at 5 for work anyway. That way I was getting solid amounts of sleep

 

[cheesecakephan]

@shanaynay You might be almost at better sleep just by development! I know for us a longer first stretch (730-2ish usually, which is actually a human amount of sleep) started roughly around 10 months. Also I go to bed usually with in an hour of her bed time to maximize my continuous block of sleep! That might help

 

[katrina2017]

@shanaynay Bedsharing for every nap and night and I slept too.