How do I tell my antivax parents I’m getting the vaccine?

A

alessandra

New member
I haven’t been able to get the vaccine since I was underage and in my state minors need parent permission to get vaccinated. I just turned 18 a couple days ago, and since the college I want to attend requires the vaccine I’m thinking of just going ahead and getting it. My mother is forcing me to fill out a religious exemption form, but I don’t want to do that. She thinks that the vaccine is a tool for population-control and thinks that I’ll get major side effects if I get the vaccine. None of my family members (except my grandma, who also is vaccine-skeptical) have the vaccine so I’m pretty sure they’ll all be against me too. I was thinking of just getting it and not telling anyone, but I don’t want to lie to them. How should I tell them?
 
@alessandra You’re an adult. Your medical decisions are your own. There is no reason to tell them anymore than if you’re going to the gynecologist or anything else private.
 
@alessandra Months ago I was in your situation. I already was 18, wanted to get the vaccine and was in search of a "vaccine required" thing. I got vaccinated after founding a job and told about vaccine after getting it done.
My family didn't make a big deal out of it. They'd be against my decision if I had asked them, but they also understand that they can't keep me under their control. I hope this helps. Do whatever you feel is the best for you.
 
@alessandra "...I don't want to lie to them."

That's an interesting way to frame this situation. I can imagine that there are many things that you don't tell your parents about: that time you smoked pot, how often you make out with your girlfriend/boyfriend, what you really think about [some opinion your parents have that you disagree with], etc. Does each of these examples constitute lying? If so, then I confess that I lie to my parents all the time, and have been doing so since long before I was 18, though I don't feel any particular guilt about it. Some things are my business and I'm not required to share details about those things with anyone (including my parents) if I don't want to.

I think the bigger issue is that you are pretty sure that most of your family will be "against" you. What exactly does that mean? Your parents will withdraw financial support? You'll be disowned? Your parents and other family members will make fun of you?

To me this is a pretty straightforward pros vs. cons analysis. Write down all the good things that will come from you getting the vaccine, write down all the bad things that (you think) will come from you getting the vaccine, and compare the two lists. Then make your decision.
 
@cyzy In their own words they said that she is demanding Them fill out A religious exempt form, that should be enough info telling us that she is very much against it and the best thing to do is that this person needs to just lie about it
 
@alessandra If you need one example of its not population control you can use me lmao. Got both shots, got pregnant on birth control and after plan b. Got my booster while pregnant. Currently 8 months along.
 
@alessandra I’m 40 and my family didn’t want me to get vaccinated either. You know what I did? Got vaccinated. My husband was nervous because, “What if something happened to me?” I simply said, I’ve got great life insurance, you and the kids will be taken care of.

At the end of the day, it was my decision. Just like it’s yours. Do what is best for you.
 
@alessandra Get the vaccine, and then tell them afterwards if it comes up. Most of the fear comes from the thoughts of dramatic side-effects, but if you’ve already gotten it then that is much less of a worry. They could still be upset (I don’t know how much they’re against it), but people I know that are anti-vaccine don’t care so much after the fact, as most of the “danger” has passed at that point.
 
@alessandra Get the shots, fill out the religious exemption form in front of them, throw it away later and when you get accepted if they say, "You must have received the religious exemption!" Say, "Hmm."
 
@alessandra My family is also strictly antivax. I understand that you’d rather not keep secrets from them, but honestly, the best way to go about it is to get it and let them find out after the fact if they truly have to know. Depends on how radical your family is, they might kick you out (I know that’s how it was with my family, of course it’s different for everyone), so might be unwise to share this with them. Good luck, no matter what you choose to do, it should be your own decision :)
 
@alessandra Well, that's a tough one, my dude. On the one hand, you're an adult and you are free to make your own decisions. On the other hand, your family is your family. I'm of the opinion that what you do with your health decisions is your business, not your family's. Ultimately, you've got to do what's right for you.
 
@alessandra I wouldn't. I'd imagine it would cause a huge uproar. Just go and get it and maybe if its ever brought up in the future you can casually say you got it and had no crazy side effects. Do be aware your arm is going to hurt like crazy for a day or two and you might be one of the lucky ones who gets a fever. That is normal and okay!
 
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