How do I stop worrying about the “numbers?”

[rsanch12]

@hasibiz I haven't made it thru many other comments yet but I wanted to comment in solidarity that I could have written this. My LO is 8m and catching up in weight finally, but we're lucky if we get her to drink 24 oz a day. Most days it's 20-21, with one or two kinds of solids now. Have really had to trust that she's getting what she needs, while constantly worrying that she's not getting enough. She's a peanut and had a cascading series of things leading to her dropping 15% birth weight in the hospital (tongue tie, my milk was delayed), and it's been a constant thing from there. We're seeing a GI now and she's not worried about her at all. She's growing in percentiles very slowly for weight so apparently what we're doing is working. Hang in there and from one worrier to another, we probably don't have to worry so much we're doing better than we think!!

 

[livingrightinwrongworld]

@hasibiz You read Your Baby’s Bottle Feeding Aversion by Rowena Bennett.

It will help you rethink and reassess how much you think your baby should be eating. Read it even though you’re not facing bottle aversion.

 

[e4enviro]

@hasibiz My baby girl is 4 1/2 months and I also had a very similar experience as you. She was born 5 lbs. 9 oz. and Dr was on me all the time about getting her to eat more because she wasn’t gaining fast enough. I had to do weight check after weight check. At her four month check up she was finally, happy with her weight gain, but I obsess over the numbers getting anxiety that she wasn’t going to reach that minimum, etc. For instance, a few days ago, she drank 29 ounces which was crazy and the next day she only drank 21 which of course freaked me out.

Listen to what these other parents are saying and remember that if your baby is acting happy and healthy then they are getting exactly what they need. I would also recommend not tracking.. I’ve been considering stopping tracking as well. It’s a mindf**k!

 

[complexobject]

@hasibiz We are in the same boat as you. We were using an app to keep track of everything. Heard and read baby should be eating this many per feeding/day or gaining this much grams per day. Made us stressed. Our family doctor kept saying as long as she's gaining weight, doesn't matter how much, it's fine.

So now we try not to achieve the ideal number anymore, but try to reach a minimum. We'll try to get our LO to finish her bottles but we won't force or pressure her too much.

For example, if we want her to have at least 500ml by the end of a 24hr day, then by the half day mark (12hrs), she should have drank roughly 250ml. What also helped was having the right nipple flow (not too slow, not too fast), and that she gets good sleep (3+ hrs) inbetween meals. If she doesn't sleep well, she won't eat well either.

We still continue to track because its data, like a journal. Just try not to obsess over it.

 

[clarinetscore]

@hasibiz Stop tracking helped a lot. My first baby was breastfed from the boob directly and in the beginning i just obsessed over how much he ate and even weighed him before and after feed. It was exhausting. After that i just stopped. Tbh now if people asked me how much he ate per day, i absolutely have no idea he was 30-50 percentile so he was fine, now that i think about it. Also, it is absolutely normal for babies’ appetite to vary day by day. My first baby is now 1.5 yo and sometimes does not even eat anything when he is sick (still takes fluid) so you gotta learn to relax otherwise your mental health suffers.

 

[curtutter]

@hasibiz Mine was ALWAYS under the "recommended" amount. Every baby's metabolism is different.

Sounds like your husband is looking out for you.

As long as baby is tracking well now in their weight, you don't need to be that meticulous about tracking their intake.

 

[aliveinchrist99]

@hasibiz I’m saying this as gently as I can - talk to someone. This sounds like PPA and I think that talking to someone (a doctor or a nurse/midwife/health visitor etc) would be very beneficial.

Anecdotally, with my first, I had a horrific experience with breastfeeding that meant my baby was starving overnight the first night we were home. I was producing no milk (and even when it came in, I never produced more than about an ounce) and I moved to formula. I obsessively tracked everything for weeks because I was traumatised by the whole thing. I ended up deleting the app and just making sure to take my baby to weigh ins every month so that I could see he was gaining enough. I had my second baby 15 weeks ago and I have had none of this anxiety this time around but I never tracked it this time. We’ve had issues with reflux (now medicated for it) and even then I didn’t feel the same anxiety as I did with my first.

 

[ldtorres77]

@hasibiz My son was the same way & didn’t start eating the recommended amount regularly until 5months. Then suddenly a switch flipped, I don’t know why. He’s fine!!! Yours will be too she’ll start eating more when she’s ready to

 

[grantkearney]

@hasibiz I agree with what people are saying. Stop tracking it and change nipple sizes. You could also look into a different formula that might help gain more weight. Or if you don’t you could warm the bottles and she might want that more. If you do warm them maybe try room temp. Different bottles too sometimes they don’t like the bottle they are on so they eat less. My son will eat 4-5 oz a feeding on some bottles but only 2 oz on a different one

 

[grudie]

@hasibiz My daughter is 12 months now but we had trouble gaining weight this entire first year. I would also obsess over the number of ounces and I actually DID create a bottle aversion because I would keep trying to get her to finish her bottles and drink the amount I thought she should be drinking. My only advice is to follow her cues — let her tell you when she’s done. Most days we only got 21-24 ounces in a day. Sometimes a few days of 18 ounces. We eventually wound up following the pediatricians recommendation to fortify her formula to make it more calories since she wasn’t a big eater, that way the calories are at least there. Now that we’re over a year our solids journey has also been a nightmare. It never ends! Lol

 

[elvy]

@hasibiz I feel like if she seems healthy and isn’t losing any weight then she should be fine, I’m not a dr or anything like that, but I have a lot of history in childcare. I had a dr tell me once that “we push our kids to eat because we’re concerned they’re not eating enough, when in reality we’re over feeding them which in turn stretches their stomachs causing weight problems in the future, their stomachs are made to hold what they need, as long as we’re filling their stomachs with nutritional foods they’ll be fine.” That’s really stuck with me over the years. I always tell the older kids “if you don’t eat all of your food you won’t be allowed to snack later.” But they’re not required to eat all of their food, they’re required to eat until they are full… some babies are lazy (mine) and truly don’t eat as much as other babies, but as long as they ARE eating and AREN’T losing weight I wouldn’t worry too much.

 

[canedunkan]

@hasibiz Coming from a mom who dealt with bottle aversion from 5 months of age of baby until 7 months- trust me it’s TERRIBLE. It’s worse than worrying about oz that baby is consuming. Pressuring a baby to eat created unnecessary power struggles. Not recommended. It’s not like if baby will eat more he or she will gain more. It’s more about absorption of the nutrients. My son (before being diagnosed with cow milk protein intolerance) would drink about 32 oz but slowly fell off his curve. After lots of trials and tribulations and struggles, when he got the formula that hurt his tummy less- he ate only 25-27 oz a day but weight gain was consistent. If you are able to, track the weight of the baby at regular intervals may be once every two weeks or if you freak out, once a week, that’s so much better than forcing baby to eat.

 

[selam]

@hasibiz How about instead of tracking you premade the bottles or used the formula pitcher so you know if you made 8 , 3 oz bottles baby ate their 24 oz if they left any behind then they didn’t , if they were hungry for more than they’re good