How do I set my wife up in a realistic way for our twins arrival in Jan…

@cinder7 My wife went to 37 weeks when we had our planned c-section. Di/di twins, they were very comfortable in there and my wife showed no signs of labor. We went at 37 because there was a slight uptick in her blood pressure and I think the OB helped us out a little lol. Our twins were 6lbs 3oz and 6lbs even. It’s definitely possible to make it later into the pregnancy and anything 37 weeks on is considered full term.
 
@cinder7 I was also 37w, DI/di, 7lb6oz and 7lb12 oz (after an 8lb11oz singleton). Life was hell in that third trimester. Constant pain and misery. I would not have minded a pair of dainty 5-6 pounders…

Anyway, you have no control. They need to come when they need to come. All you have is what you root for.
 
@cinder7 I went 38 weeks exactly before my planned C section. They were 6lb 1oz and 6lb 9oz at birth. I know one other twin mama who had hers at 38 weeks and they were just a couple of oz heavier than mine. I’ve seen some on this sub over 7lb but idk how. I’m 6ft tall and had plenty of room for them to grow. By the end, I felt like they were so crammed there was no more room. I’m glad I didn’t expand anymore to hold bigger babies. I had a relatively easy recovery and the girls were big enough for no NICU
 
@james_g For me, that’s how I feel… all I’m hoping for is healthy babes with no NICU time but I might be asking too much! My wife is only 5 foot 6 so even our 10 pounder was a surprise IMO!
 
@cinder7 My MIL is like 5 ft on a good day and my partner was 10lb too! The body can do amazing things!

Fingers crossed for two healthy babies that can go home right away!
 
@cinder7 I think she has good chances. I’m 37 weeks and supposed to be induced tomorrow. 4th pregnancy, di/di twins measuring 6lbs each as of last week. I’m also 5’ tall and usually weigh about 100lbs. All my singletons were over 8lbs when they were born. I suggest she eats whatever she wants and rests as much as she can. It’s entirely possible she gets what she wants.
 
@cinder7 Are they ever that big? Yes; I've heard of 10 lb twins, but I've also heard of 13lb singletons. Does it happen often? I don't think so. My boys were born at 38w1d and were 6lb14oz and 7lbs. All the comments were about them being big twins. That being said, you guys had a 10 lb baby, so you do have above average sized babies. I wouldn't be shocked at 7.5lbs.

Though the babies are gonna do what the babies are gonna do. It's totally possible they'll be born at 34 weeks with little warning. Bed rest hasn't really been shown to delay labor, so it's not like that's a magic bullet.
 
@cinder7 I mean, I wouldn’t fight her too hard or reason with her unless or until the doctor says it’s time to go and non-negotiable and she’s dragging her heels.

Yeah, lots of twins come early (and as a consequence are small), but neither you nor your wife know how it will go for her. Maybe she goes into labor tomorrow and she has to deliver premies, maybe she stays in good health, makes it to 38 weeks and has “normal” sized babies.

Just listen to the doctor, and don’t push her on it unless and until the doctor is saying it’s unsafe we need to get these babies out now. Then you can tell her it’s time to listen to the doctor.

For what it’s worth, I made it to 38 weeks. Mine weren’t massive (5.5lb and 6.5lbs) but we were all healthy. I would’ve been annoyed if my husband spent effort trying to “ground” me in the fact that we might not make it to 38 weeks.

On some level, she knows it’s a possibility, but why argue about something that hasn’t happened yet, that might not happen.

Just reaffirm to her that “you acknowledge and agree that the goal is to make it to 38 weeks and you aren’t delivering earlier than that unless it’s medically indicated.”

I think she just wants to know you have her back and will be her advocate.
 
@johnvladimir I was gonna say the same thing. OP, you’re never gonna be able to force her to feel a certain way about any of this, so let her focus on visualizing her goal and what she wants because at the very least, it brings her comfort. We all had a birth plan in our minds, and preparing for that plan is just part of the process. She knows things could go differently, but she’s hoping for the best.

(Insert obligatory birth story here lol) It wasn’t anything like I planned and hoped for, but it all worked out in the end. What’s most important right now is how supported and heard she feels.
 
@cinder7 My first was 8lb 5oz. She was born at 39wks, 2 years before my twins. Labour began naturally.

My twins were 7lb 4oz & 7lb 10oz. I was induced at 38wks.

I'm 5'9" & my husband is 6'4". I think this probably has the most to do with our babies' sizes. I didn't have GD or anything either time.

It's not impossible! But it is good to be prepared. I was very much acknowledged as an anomaly.
 
@cinder7 It’s rare for twins to be that big…….buuuut…. my doctor wouldn’t schedule an induction/c section before 38 weeks. I believe 38 weeks is the normal medical timeframe for a scheduled c section. I do also know one twin mama that did insist on a natural delivery and went to 40 weeks but that’s super rare.

I’m also not entirely sure I would worry about it too much…….there’s a high chance that her water will break or she will start labor or complications like preeclampsia will demand an immediate c section before going past 38 weeks is an issue. She may also very well change her mind…..twin pregnancies can be much tougher on the body.
 
@cinder7 as long as she's willing to be overruled by the doctor at the first sign of trouble i don't see the harm in her being optimistic. i told all my doctors i was going to make it to 37 weeks and boy was i ever wrong but they don't like, come in and taunt you about having been wrong, or anything
 
@cinder7 Bruh just go along with what she wants. Her body is probably f-ing her up in all kinds of ways the singletons did not and forget about the hormones. You’re a pregnancy veteran, you got this. Just be supportive and plan for contingencies ie a nicu stay or extended bed rest. Let her have her plan, and have some of your own because your are correct that many twin pregnancies do not make it to term. Wife and I had all kinds of plans and then out of nowhere bed rest at 29 weeks and born at 30 weeks, 2 months nicu. Might wanna set up childcare for your current kiddos just in case. And fmla and disability doesn’t cover nicu time, I had to continue working until they came home.
 
@cinder7 I don’t know and can only give you my experience.
1st singleton was 10.4 pound at 40 weeks
Twins - 8.6 and 7.9 pounds at 38+2, I probably could have gone longer, but was an induction as I couldn’t carry the weight and deal with the pregnancy insomnia anymore. But it was never done because of the babies size.
All born via vagina. With the Twin 2 coming out feet first.
 
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