How do I set my wife up in a realistic way for our twins arrival in Jan…

@cinder7 Wow I have many similarities to your wife’s medical history. 10lb baby club.

My Dr said for the twins my c section could be 37-38 weeks, I don’t think the babies size has much to do with it at that point that’s just the safest time to perform the surgery for twins.

If she goes into labour early, it can’t be stopped really. Just have a bag ready but you don’t need to talk her down. She just wants healthy babies. 7lbs is average for a singleton, 5.5lbs for twins.
 
@cinder7 For di/di twins it’s not uncommon to go to 38 weeks. Mine were 7lb4oz and 6lb11oz at 37w4d. I was induced, however, because I was so fucking over it. Her opinion may change as she enters the third trimester. I also had been having prodromal labor for a week or more.

At that point in pregnancy she will be monitored once or twice a week. If the doctors are concerned about size then they will make recommendations. Agree with everyone else, bags packed, you never know what might happen with any pregnancy but with twins the pre term labor risk is higher. Good luck.
 
@cinder7 My oldest two singletons were each a little over 9 and on time. My twins were 5.7 and 8.5 at 38+1 with a scheduled C (that was only scheduled because baby B was hogging the nutrition from A.) By the time I got that far along, I was ready to have them- knowing they were past 36 weeks, which is the norm (according to my doc) for twins.
 
@cinder7 My didi boys were born via c sec at 37+3 and were 6 lbs 14 oz and 6 lbs 15 oz. I had a scheduled c planned for 38+0 but I went in to be checked because I knew I had been dilating from OB/MFM appts and I thought my water may have been leaking. My OB/MFM office wouldnt let me go passed 38 weeks with it being twins. I had a healthy pregnancy. I had lots of appts tho. However, I was told by both OB and MFM that there was a much lower threshold for interventions if something started to go wrong with me or the boys since there were two.

I worked up until my section, like literally left work to go to the hospital and didn't leave the hospital until I had babies in hand lol. I think I was in the minority with how my twin pregnancy went tho lol. I was very lucky
 
@cinder7
She’s “demanding” that she makes it to 38 weeks or longer if an @spiritualtranscendence doesn’t show that these babies are 7 lbs 6-8oz minimum…says she will go on bed rest or do whatever is required but I don’t think that’s how it works?
Click to expand...

Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but honestly this just seems like the wrong attitude to have towards twins in general. Compared to singletons, EVERYTHING is about practicality and going with the flow. You never get what you want, you just get what you're given. The sooner she can understand this the more successful the two of you will be.
 
@cinder7 The biggest goal should definitely be healthy babies, not a specific size. Back her up but if things don’t go as planned then be prepared to comfort her.

That being said that is a lot of baby to wish for! I am at 36 weeks today and absolutely miserable with how much weight I am carrying. Their weight was estimated 3 weeks ago at 4.5 and 4.75lbs, if I had to guess they are probably around 6lbs now. I have a scheduled C-section for next week and I can’t imagine trying to wait everything out for another week
 
@cinder7 I mean best of luck to her but if the kids are born before that, under that weight, it really doesn't matter other than how much she cares about it.

She might just be setting herself an arbitrary point of sucess or failure. Regardless of what her chances of "winning" this, it is not very helpful to turn the babies weight into a win/lose situation. Because most babies under that weight are still perfectly healthy.
 
@cinder7 My younger sibs were 8.5 lb fraternal twins (17 lbs 1 oz in total) at 40 wks and 5 days. My bro and I (singletons) were 10 lbs 5 oz and 10 lbs 2 oz respectively, both at 40 wks and 5 days. Mom is 5'9", long in the torso, and broad-beamed. It can happen. IDK at what point additional weight stops actually mattering to health, though. Medically 5lbs 8 oz is the threshold for "underweight" so it may not actually matter than much as long as you're above that? That's an OB question.
 
@cinder7 The bump pics are absolutely terrifying! I will say, I don't think they let twins go to 40 weeks very often anymore.

But I admit, as her daughter currently growing three at once, I really hope that it's a good sign for mine at least all getting above 4lbs 8oz or so. I can emotionally see where your wife is coming from. It feels like it MIGHT be in my control even though it really mostly isn't, and I want to keep these little guys safe so badly.
 
@cinder7 My first was a singleton and he weighed 10lbs 3.5oz, no GD or anything. The midwives predicted he would weigh 8lbs. Went into labor on my own and delivered vaginally at 40+3. My twins were a 37+1 planned c-section and they each weighed close to 7.5lbs at birth. Both had brief nicu stints, 2 nights and 6 night. Anything can happen.
 
@cinder7 Everyone’s pregnancy is different, and so it’s good to plan, but also be ready for the unexpected.

Of course, it’s great if the babies can weigh more, but I don’t think there’s a whole lot that’s under her control regarding their weights, assuming she’s following all of the common pregnancy protocols.
Mine were born at 39w1d, 5lbs4oz, 5lbs5 oz, so considerably smaller, but a good weight for twins. ( for context, I was a small baby, too, 5lbs3oz.)

They were healthy, no Nicu, and no bed rest for me- I went on long walks and swam laps up until the day before they were born. I’ve always been active, and the doctors said I could keep being active -just within reason- and everything was fine.

My point is, my babies were smaller than what your wife would like, but healthy, and I didn’t need bed rest to go until 39w1d. I was very fortunate with my pregnancy, and did my best to be healthy, but I feel like a lot of it was out of my hands and I got lucky.
 
@joeleo And see … healthy … I would prefer her put healthy before weights but I can’t control how she thinks! I can only support! Congrats on your guys!
 
@cinder7 Thanks- They’re 8 now and life is good! Just started swim team today and in a group with 10-11 year olds, so my swimming laps might have rubbed off, lol. But yeah, all we want for our kids is that they’re healthy and happy!
 
@cinder7 I think I get your wife. I feel the same. I've had my singleton at 41+3 and she was 8 pounds. So now I'm set on (if there are no complications) carrying my twins as long as possible. I'm not keen on a planned C-section or induction. The longer the babies are in the womb, the better the outcome after birth. BUT of course only as long as the placenta is healthy and the babies don't show any stress signs. I don't really have a choice there, it's difficult to predict what will happen.

Chances are higher birth will start sooner than 38 weeks. So maybe support your wife but be realistic and prepared for a birth before 38 weeks. I'm pretty sure your wife doesn't want to endanger the babies, so when there's a reason to get them out, she'll agree.
 
@cinder7 Mine were born vaginally at 37+1 (after they broke my waters) 5lb7 and 6lb5 (twin 2 born breach)

My first came vaginally at 40 weeks at 9lb2.

If she is OK to go to 38 weeks, then I'd say support her. I found even making it to 37+1 exhausting and very uncomfortable, especially with a nearly 2yr old to chase around too, so maybe she'll change her mind or maybe she will happily make it to 38 weeks.

They could still be smaller than what she is hoping for though and 1 week may not add that much more weight on them due to lack of space!

Just have everything packed and ready to go and let her decide when she's ready to have her c-section!
 
@cinder7 I had a scheduled c-section at 38+1. My doctor refused to let me go any later. I wouldn’t have wanted to at that point. After 30 weeks I was ready for them to vacate! The pain from pregnancy was unbearable and it was impossible to sleep. They were different sizes at delivery which is common with multiples: 6 lb 12oz and 7 lb 6 oz. There is absolutely no way either my OB or MFM specialist would have allowed me to go past 38+1. And the +1 was because of scheduling with the hospital.

If she’s determined the best you can do is be supportive and there for her if her expectations aren’t met. Once the babies came I was so overwhelmed/sleep deprived by the two of them, I forgot most of my pregnancy and the delivery.

I was super nervous about the nicu and them coming early so I got some colostrum containers from Amazon and collected as much as I could before delivery (but I had nursed my first so it was easier to do so.) My smallest went into NICU (2 nights only) and I wish my partner and I would have talked/prepared for that more as that was extremely hard for me to suddenly have only one baby and he was with the other. It helped a lot that I knew he was getting something from me right away in the NICU until I could pump.

Congratulations. It’s extremely challenging. Mine are 2 now and the bond they have is so incredible to watch. They also started getting easier at 2 years old! I hardly ever think about the pregnancy or birth!

Edit: they were di/di !
 
@cinder7 Maybe you need to make it clear with her that it is quite Likely that they'll come early. I hope not but it's still a strong possibility (mine were doing fine until 29 weeks when they needed to see the outside world).
 
@cinder7 My wife delivered our singleton at 41 weeks, 9+lbs, vaginally. When we learned we were having twins, she was determined to defy the odds despite being “geriatric” and “high risk”.
And ya know what? She made it to 38 weeks and delivered our twins, each 7lbs+, vaginally. So while improbable, your wife’s ideal is not impossible.
 
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