How do I build a Faraday cage around the bathroom?

@guidemelord To further your point- is her husband chronically late to work, outings with friends, holding it in so long that he’s running to the bathroom because he was distracted?

As a fellow ADHD person (not expert), that type of time blindness isn’t selective. You don’t get to pick and choose.
 
@criley This isn't specific to your situation, but I just do not believe this many adult men all have GI issues which specifically hit during the morning rush. It would be a pandemic with daily headlines. These men all need to eat some prunes and get over themselves.

OP, this is not on you. I hate that he would make you think that because you had to shift attention to work for a little bit, that now he is withdrawing FURTHER from his responsibilities. I would just be brutally honest with him and say: I'm not going to tell you to go to bed or put your phone away, you already know you have to do that. But I need you to keep your word and be up and parenting when you say you will.
 
Side note: I have experience with bunnies and lost wildlife. Couldn’t find the nest, couldn’t get him to hop away, and he was just frozen scared in the driveway being nose booped by our dog (thankfully the camera showed that she didn’t pick him up, just nudged him surprisingly gently). The rehabbers in the area either didn’t pick up or were at capacity, so I scooped him into a box with a towel to keep him warm. One got back to me but she’s out of town, so she gave me some instructions on how to keep him comfy until he can get checked out. He’s not a newborn. Eyes are open, bigger than a tennis ball. Just young n dumb. Lacking “street smarts” as the lady put it. If it was a newborn I’d have driven him to the 24 hr wildlife vet hospital last night, but it’s a 2hr drive and we agreed he’d be healthier if I found his nest this morning & sent him back to his mom.
 
@criley Love that your dog was like "Uh oh. Strange looking puppy needs help."

This has nothing to do with your question, but I'm glad your dog at least is being a helper and not an obstacle in this situation.
 
@wdouglas1611 dude same! she's a pitbull/rescue/unclear but that's what she looks like mix. and as gentle and as much of a potato as she is, she's still a *dog* and a terrier, so I was a little shocked to see her lean in to the whole "nanny dog" thing to such an extreme. She's definitely had puppies before and they were not around when she got picked up by animal control, so I wonder if that's why she's so nurturing.
 
@criley I think dogs also find us fascinating.
Like, here's this other species, they are not dogs, they wander around on two legs. And they've brought me into their den, and just... Want me to hang out? With them? And they feed me. Huh.

And then they brought home a weird bald puppy. And they want me to hang out with it too.

(And if you have other pets, the it's this even more varied interspecies co-op, where everyone is supposed to get along in an equitable way)

I think some dogs and cats are inclined to be friendly and try to expand the co-op.
 
@criley Are his ears up?

I hand reared a domestic orphan rabbit and had luck giving milk, more than others it seems. They're notoriously difficult little mammals. If you need tips dm me. Kiddos to you for helping
 
@criley He should see an adhd coach as well as a therapist if he can't manage his time blindness on his own. I am a woman with adhd and I don't hide in the bathroom for an hour, nor does it sound like you do. It's not an inevitability it is a choice after a certain point not to change. I hate how men with adhd use it as an out instead of insight into how to improve.
 
@criley I saw one and it's great having an accountability partner who you're not married to. It takes the burden off your partner while still having someone whose sole job is helping hack ADHD behaviors. It's kinda like therapy, except it's less about feelings and more about actions that work.
 
@criley Yup totally agree. When faced with similar issues I asked/required my husband to get executive function coaching from a qualified expert. The guy we found is no nonsense and holds my husband accountable — seriously reduced my mental load.
 
@criley Ok the bathroom thing. My ex was awful with that. What's worse is we had 1 bathroom. There were times I was close to having an accident because he was in the bathroom for an hour or more. What makes it worse is I found out later that sometimes he was masterbating. I was close to pooping my pants because he decided to masterbate in the only room with a toilet? I was so upset and said so and he replied "where else am I supposed to? " Like are you fucking kidding? Anywhere else! The bedroom? Maybe not during the morning when people generally go? Men can be so fucking dense.
 
@phillip73 Man I thought he was a good one, and then he just started sliding into a weird pit of emotional chaos. Thats why I’m 99.99999% sure this is depression related but how to drag his butt out of it is beyond me.
 
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