How did you know you were ready to send you kid to preschool if they didn’t HAVE to go?

E

elinternational

New member
So I’m talking to families with a full time SAHP that didn’t need daycare/preschool for childcare reasons.

My son is 3 and would be just shy of 4 starting this school year if we enroll him in preschool. He still has two years until K due to missing the cut off date here by just two weeks. He will be 2 weeks shy of 6 going into K. He is very precocious and knows almost everything he’d learn in about the first half of K already at age 3. So the only reason to send him is the social aspect.

I’m very back and forth about it. Some thoughts I’ve had:
- I know he’d love it once he got used to it but he’s very shy so I’m sure he will be one of the kids crying at drop off for weeks.
- I love being home with him and I’m not sure I’m ready to start our school career but it would also give me one on one time with his baby sister.
- I worry because he’s already academically advanced for his age that sending him will create boredom/behavior problems.
- would I be better off enrolling him in lots of extracurriculars?
- I worry I’ll hate the constraints on our currently very flexible schedule.

When do you know it was time to pull off the metaphorical bandaid?
 
@lucy Haha this is what my son does! Sometimes he sits on the deck and yells at kids walking by “Hey kid! Play with me!” I’m putting him in preschool in the fall.
 
@elinternational We’ll be sending my older daughter in the fall when she’s almost 3.5. Just 2 or 3 mornings per week. I’m a stay at home mom with a masters degree in elementary education. I can take care of any academic kindergarten prep without a problem. But what I can’t give her is socialization. The experience of learning to listen to and trust another adult. A consistent group of similarly-aged playmates. Time away from me. I think those are all vital skills and experiences, so although I’ll miss her, I know it’s what she needs to grow to be the best her she can be.
 
@elinternational I wanted my children to go to preschool because I needed that time to keep our household running. I started off our 3yo 3 mornings/week and my 18mo 2/week. I really wanted a program that utilized Conscious Discipline because the social-emotional learning is extremely important to me. They are now almost 5 and 2.5x and we love our preschool so, so much. I honestly can’t overstate how much it has helped them grow in ways I can’t recreate on my own.

Is the program you’re considering play based? And does it have a good amount of outdoor time (like 50% or more weather permitting)? Those would be factors I would consider in terms of worrying about him being bored.
 
@thimbleberry I am hoping that we are able to get my girl into a program for the fall when she will be 1.5 as well! She loves people so I’m not that worried and it will give me a break two times a week which I desperately need. Husband works literally seven days a week 12-14 hours a day so I don’t even have him in the evenings or weekends! Preschool will be a godsend.
 
@elinternational Can’t speak personally because I have a toddler, but my sister was a prek/elementary school teacher for many years. She said school environments (daycare/preschool) really helped kids in elementary school get a boost not only socially but in terms of things like listening/following directions. So might be helpful for that reason. Maybe you can find a half day program so it’s a bit of school day, bit of Day with Mom. : )
 
@jamesdb The program I’m looking at is half day M-Th. This kid is an extreme rule follower so I’m not overly worried about that. He’s very apprehensive though so I’m wondering if we should just do it for the slow exposure into the social environment.
 
@elinternational We never did preschool since I homeschool :) Many of the reasons you listed are reasons we chose to. However we did get involved with a local preschool co-op which was all parent run. Still some of my favorite memories are from that preschool.
 
@elinternational My oldest begged and begged to go, since he was newly two, but he was also past the cut-off. And is super smart, just like your kiddo. But since he wanted to go, we found a school and enrolled him. He's just turned 4 now and still LOOVES school. He gets to socialize and make projects that I don't get to do so much at home anymore. He has even made a BEST friend and talks about her all the time and just loves her.

My middle child started a month after he turned two. He wasn't begging to go like big brother, but he's a covid baby and we don't have cousins or friends to really play with, and we couldn't afford to send them both to extra curricular and found it wasn't fair to send one and not the other. So he enrolled. He was shy at first, still is when he's been away from school for more than a few days, but he still likes it! He gets to play with kid his age, and get exposure to more than just mommy and daddy for grownups.

All in all, I am beyond happy I sent both of them at two. And because they are both going now, I know that they will be more ready socially for kindergarten than if I wouldn't have sent them. I will more than likely send our 3rd as soon as we are able to, too.
 
@elinternational This is when they learn social skills, and that is mainly what preschool is about. Learning to wait their turn. Learning to resolve conflicts.

They also learn classroom skills like how to ask to go to the bathroom. How to line up. How to behave in a classroom environment.

Kids this age don't get bored from not being challenged. They have way too many areas of development to get "bored" if one isn't stimulating enough.

School this age should be play based anyhow.

It is hugely evidence in K who went to preschool and who didn't.
 
@elinternational Send him. Preschool is for social engagement with his peers, which you can't give him. He can build relationships with the other kids when he is in class with them all year. Mention that he is shy. The first two weeks might be rough, but he will gain confidence. That will help with his shyness. Seriously, my five-year-old had a rough start to preschool last year, but by about October he was bounding into school every morning, and now he is so confident and happy.
 
@elinternational We sent him at 2.5 when our daughter was 4 months. 2 half days a week. He is very high energy and loves to play and I needed a break haha. It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing answer. I love being home with him but I’m a better mom when I get a break. We still have plentyyy of time and I don’t ever feel like we have any constraints.
 
@elinternational Can you do a shorter program? My 2 yo goes to a preschool at our church (it’s one of the best in our county according to our speech therapist). It’s one day/week for 1.5 hours. He loves it and it eases him into a structured environment without being overwhelming. Each year the amount of time increases. So next year he’ll go 2 days/ week for 2 hours each day. He’s also a shy kid who can be pretty clingy but he goes in without a tear every week. Half the time he walks in and doesn’t even say goodbye lol

We also do extra activities like we’re doing an open gym and soccer, but they don’t provide the structure or independence that I think he needs.
 
@elinternational My situation is almost exactly yours and this is what we’re doing now. We found a community center class (not formal pre-K) that is 90min long. It doesn’t have to be school - just find a music or art or dance or sports class for your toddler once or twice a week. It’s been a great catalyst for pre-K, he’s getting new social/school skills and practicing being not with me.

FWIW, he cries at drop off. The teacher says he stops as soon as I leave. Then he tells me that the class is his favorite part of his day. Like us, kids can have hard things that are also enjoyable and enriching!

Our plan is to do pre-K 3 mornings a week this fall. Like you, I want to give him a fun social activity and wanted time one on one with the baby.
 
@elinternational My son is 3 and is an only child. I wanted him to be in social situations without me and learn to listen to other adults. He goes to a just 3s class twice a week for 2.5 hours at a local rec center. It's perfect for us. They also have a 4 yr old class for next year that's 3 days a week. It's a good way to slowly transition into school, learn a bit, and make friends.
 
@elinternational My son is 4, almost 5 and started prek this past fall. I had the choice to send him starting this upcoming fall instead, and that’s what I wanted to do, but he begged to go to school and wouldn’t stop talking and asking about it. I don’t even know where it came from as we hadn’t really asked him.

So, we enrolled him part time. He’s there 3.5 hours a day, 5 days a week. He LOVES it. Now he won’t stop talking about how he wants to go to “big school” next year.
 
@elinternational Your situation is almost exactly like mine! My daughters bday is the end of August and here the cutoff for kinder is July 31. So we started preschool right before she turned 5. We didn't do preschool at 4 because she was having huge sensory meltdowns so we opted for multiple therapies a week instead for that year. I didn't want to keep her home another year because of the social aspect. She's a rule follower too, so we assumed that would be fine, but we have very few friends with children and the neighborhood kids never clicked with her. So we knew we wanted to get her in something for social as well as prepare for all day kinder. So she went 1/2 days m-Th and I am so glad we did. She grew so much and I think jumping right into kinder would have been too much for her. She needed that year of more guidance.
 
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