Holiday Interpretation

[mekhappes]

My kid doesn’t have school on Halloween this year during their week with me. But it is the other parent’s holiday this year so they pick them up. But when? The coparenting relationship is a rough one so any confusion here is ripe for unpleasantries. How do you interpret it?

Halloween Day: Beginning at 3:00 p.m. (or when child gets out of school)
until 8:00 p.m.

If there is no school then I think it should defer to 3:00pm.

 

[davidcurran68]

@mekhappes That’s what I would do as well.

 

[spookydawg77]

@mekhappes 3pm seems reasonable. At the same time, does it matter? If the other parent disagrees, and wants to pick up earlier/later, is that worth having conflict over? It'll just be a few hours either way.

 

[mekhappes]

@spookydawg77 Unfortunately, in my situation, conflict will be found regardless of what seems reasonable. They also frequently ask me to give up time. Days, weeks and whatever they want to fit their schedule. They don’t want to trade a day or week just for me to give it up. It’s a one way street though. My coparent showed up to our kids school registration event and when filling out paperwork said they wanted to change the school that was written in the parenting plan. I had it put in because I knew this would happen and it would be a fight later. At the event for registration they brought this up. Not 6 months before, not a year prior. Then proceeded to tell me that the parenting plan and what it said didn’t matter and that we needed to make a decision on schools.

I just wanted to get some outside opinions on this one to move forward confidently ignoring and unreasonable arguments they present.

 

[lucygoosey]

@mekhappes It literally says 3pm? Doesn't leave much room for interpretation.

 

[mekhappes]

@lucygoosey Yes,agreed. It says lots of crystal clear things but my coparent seems to think that whatever they want or don’t want 100% needs to be negotiated as if none of it is settled because their lawyer told them “the parenting plan has no power.” So, in their mind we have to discuss it to solve the issue at hand.

 

[needsomeadvice]

@mekhappes I mean... The parenting plan has the power to evolve into an enforcement plan. But that requires you take it back to court. Unless this plan is non legally binding. If it isn't legally binding, though, it's status quo which also holds a lot of power... Again, should it come back to court.

If you expect conflict, and this is a day you would normally have the child, I don't see how the other parent just showing up for the holiday as they are able to as a problem. What works and when they show up is what works and when they show up. So long as you're child is available for your ex at 3:00 pm, there's no problem.

It sucks to know your co-parent is going to do what they are going to do, regardless of prior agreement, but knowing they are like that... if it's how they feel about the order, and not screwing up your life, a new order won't change their ideas on the authority of a courthouse.

 

[corumab]

@vanhiep240594 Yeah when I was a kid it was more or less a normal day until it was time to put my costume on. Even at school, we were usually only allowed to wear costumes in the afternoon for the party, not all day.

 

[jimbog]

@mekhappes 3 pm

 

[wiiterpgiti1971]

@mekhappes Right. 3-8pm.

 

[corumab]

@mekhappes There’s no ambiguity here. It’s 3-8pm. That’s the standard time for celebrating Halloween. Take the kid, get their costume on, take them trick or treating, and drop them off for the night. Simple as. Nothing’s happening before 3 or after 8. Nothing that a child at trick or treating age should be involved in, anyway.

 

[katrina2017]

@mekhappes It’s clear as day—3PM. Read orders and stipulations word by word, sentence by sentence.