@lesbian5eva I worked out kinda. His work would run later sometimes so i was either really late or would call in. The extra money was nice and typically would cover the groceries. It’s been years since I’ve worked and my our kids have asked if and when I’ll go back to work. They really enjoy their daddy&daughters days. I will also tried working while my girls are in school and that worked out for the most part until summer rolled around and i had to quit for the summer/ i just didn’t go back.
@lesbian5eva I would do this only if I could afford to outsource something. Whether that’s a cleaner, buying takeout/meal prepped meals/precooked meals, laundry
Otherwise it would be a pass for me… that sounds completely exhausting to take care of children all day and then work
@lesbian5eva My honest reaction is that that is completely unrealistic and a recipe for exhaustion bordering on insanity, pmdd and probably problems with your marriage.
@lesbian5eva I am doing this now. Childcare averaging 12 hours during the day, work for 4-5 hours a day. I also take 1 weekend to work. It’s doable but man it’s exhausting. Most days, my cup is literally empty by the time I go to bed. Plus the lack of sleep will really get to you. I average about 4-5 hours of sleep but mine is rarely ever restful sleep. If you’re breastfeeding, don’t be surprised if your supply might tank on more tiring and stressful days. I try to rest up as much as I can on weekends and let LO latch whenever she wants to keep supply up.
Be careful with resentment as well. You’ll often feel as if you’re carrying most of the load at home. This will be worse if you’re still doing/expected to do household chores/tasks while taking care of your LO. I suggest offloading as much household tasks as you can. You shouldn’t be (or be expected to carry) the full weight of the household PLUS work.
@lesbian5eva I’m a full time SAHM and licensed therapist. I left my full time position to stay home with our child who is now 15 months old. My goal is to do part time telehealth. I was hired by a company and started my onboarding in November and haven’t finished it. I just never have any time. And the time I do have- I need a break. 6-9pm 4 or 5 days a week is a lot and I am too burned out to do that. I am looking at 2-3 hours on 1 weekend day when my husband can watch our child. You might be able to swing it but I don’t have the mental bandwidth and I’ve been a therapist for over 10 years.
@lesbian5eva Also a therapist and doing this exact situation. Did it with our first child and now baby number 2 as well and I absolutely love it. It’s the best of both worlds in my opinion! But just like we would tell our clients, practice self care! Best of luck!
@lesbian5eva Have done it both ways, it works out well for us because we're both better at working nights. I'm currently the night person and I enjoy it tremendously.
@lesbian5eva I’m a little shocked by some of these comments. Yes, missing bed time and relying on your husband to do dinners, bath, and bed by himself does suck, but honestly if you’re expected to watch the kids during the day why can he not handle it in the evenings? When my first was 7 weeks old, I went back to serving in the evenings and my husband would work during the day. I won’t lie, it was rough, but I feel like it gave him this really special opportunity to bond with our daughter and problem solve without me there. I ended up quoting for a while and just doing the SAHM thing for a few years through COVID. Then after my second, I started working a few days a week in the evenings doing housekeeping for medical offices. It does make things difficult, but I don’t feel it’s any harder than us both being gone during the day. We did that for a while too, and I greatly prefer working opposite schedules.
@lesbian5eva I had my daughter in February and returned to working a midnights position in April while also trying to continue schooling. As others have said, make sure you're getting down time and sleep. I'm honestly struggling at the point. I don't get much sleep and on top of that I don't have any time to do things for myself really. Once hubby gets home at 4pm, I'm usually feeding our little one and then trying to get some sort of marginal sleep before leaving for work at 1130. Granted, I'm working 40 hours a week still.
Just make sure you can get down time AND sleep. Good luck momma.
@lesbian5eva I think a good test is to think about dinner time and how that is going to look with your new position. Who is cooking/watching baby/cleaning would be a good though exercise.
I'll also mentions that PhD students will often have late nights/days with grading papers, research, and dissertations, so having two parents burning the candle at both ends sounds like a terrible idea.
@lesbian5eva You will be the primary caregiver. So you will need to get out of the building or at least leave and go in another door. If your baby ever learns you are home game over you will never get work done. Also you need to be able to let go and let Dad parent, which could be the biggest challenge when you hear the baby crying in the other room. Do not step in and “help”, from them on baby will know you are around.
@lesbian5eva My husband and I did something somewhat similar for about six months. It’s really, really hard. Doable, but you won’t want to do it forever. Be prepared to never see your husband and never have time for yourself (it’ll be a while before babies nap time gives you back any time most likely). If it’s more than a short term thing I wouldn’t recommend it.
Some other ideas to think about- can you pay for two days of childcare and work those days? Or work a Sunday and pay for childcare one day on a Monday? Do you have family that would be willing to watch baby at all to maybe do those three hours during the day, even for one day out of the week?
@lesbian5eva If you are most productive in the morning, would it be possible for you to do the mornings at work and then he starts work a little later? My friends who were PhD students, some of them had very flexible schedules depending on when in their program they were in.
My firstborn was born literally at the beginning of Covid. When I finished my maternity leave (baby was 5 months) my company was kind and flexible allowing me to work nights. I work in-person (not a WFH job) and drive to my office and worked 8pm-11pm. Husband took over bedtime routine so I could drive into work. I did it until my girl turned 2 years old.
I did it but honestly… I was very grumpy. I was breastfeeding baby the entire time until 2. If it were a WFH job it’d be way more doable. We had baby#2 and I absolutely cannot do that again.
