Genuinely curious - why do people choose to keep having kids despite health risks?

[daward]

@girl4god86 I think a lot of people have a second baby to “heal” the trauma of their first, even if the same medical risks apply. I know a lot of moms who had a second because postpartum depression clouds the memories of their first.

Obviously, not life threatening, but my sister has very rough pregnancies, hip pain to the point of being bed bound from the second trimester, vomiting, in and out of triage for fluids, etc. But, she was a single mom with her first baby, the dad didn’t return into their lives until my niece was 9 months old. They re-kindled, and got married. He began to be remorseful of leaving my sister during her pregnancy, and they decided to have a second. She had another miserable pregnancy. My sister loves being a mom, and is a damn good one, but she’s said several times that had her husband been supportive from the beginning, they would’ve never felt the pressure to “re-do” things and have a second child to re-create the newborn stage she never got as a single mother.

 

[snowzee]

@girl4god86 So pregnancy isn’t a big health risk to me directly, but can be for my children. I found out during my pregnancy that I am a carrier of a genetic mutation where it’s a 50/50 chance (ie dependent on which X chromosome my child gets) I pass it on to my children with each pregnancy. I lucked out with my first(only), he is 13 mos and healthy. I don’t want to knowingly play Russian roulette with my genes and test fate again by conceiving naturally, and we don’t want to go down the IVF route for a second due to cost.

 

[girl4god86]

@snowzee My friend is in a similar situation, she found out during her pregnancy that she has a disorder/abnormality albeit a very mild form but it guaranteed that her baby would also have it. She was super stressed throughout the rest of her pregnancy but lucked out in that her baby has an even milder expression of it with no deficits whatsoever so far. She described it just like you, Russian roulette, and the only possibility of having another would be via IVF

 

[snowzee]

@girl4god86 Sounds like another x-linked disorder. Some people still choose to conceive naturally when they have a mild mutation, but that is totally personal choice. It’s just a moral conflict in my mind. I take it as I’m meant to only have my son and it means he can get my undivided attention and love

 

[olivemcr]

@girl4god86 Lots of people have sex and end up with surprises

 

[emilyd]

@girl4god86 I had hyperemesis gravidarum during my pregnancy. I also developed postpartum OCD with psychotic features after delivering (and my preexisting depression got worse). I don't think I'd mentally survive another pregnancy, let alone physically. Thankfully my uterus made the choice easier for me when it decided to grow gigantic tumors, and the only fix was a hysterectomy.

 

[figarosmom]

@girl4god86 They hope next time will be better.

 

[breezyberlin]

@girl4god86 Not sure why. My mom got preeclampsia with me and we both nearly died. I was in the NICU for months and my mom has had fairly minor albeit lifelong side effects.

Then my parents decided to have my sister a few years later. Queue the preeclampsia, sickness, NICU stay. By some miracle we’ve all survived and managed to stay relatively healthy. I love my sister so much and she’s such an amazing person. But I just can’t wrap my head around risking death for a second time