@skyblue77 It was 8 years ago today that I started the mag drip for postpartum HELLP syndrome. Today is also my husband’s birthday and I almost lost my life on his bday that day. Felt like fire going through my veins and all of my limbs were extremely heavy. That was probably the worst part of it. That and the pounding headache. My arms were so heavy, I couldn’t even hold my baby in my arms to nurse so I stopped breastfeeding for good. I wasn’t comfortable being on the mag sulfate drip and blood pressure meds while nursing anyway. That stuff HAS to be secreted in beast milk! After almost the full 24 hrs, I told my nurse I was sure I was dying and she got the dr who confirmed they had me on too high a dose and it was “toxic”. I had to come off it for 2 hours and then start the mag for 24 additional hours!
Genuinely curious - why do people choose to keep having kids despite health risks?
- Thread starter girl4god86
- Start date
@savedat9 How’d they not know it was too high of a dose in the first place! 
I did end up breastfeeding even through taking BP pills for a month. But they said it was safe. 
Although my son never latched so I had to exclusively pump. I’m pretty sure him having bottles in the hospital right away due to me not being able to nurse right away made him refuse the boob cause he was already used to the bottle nipple.
To be fair though, as much as this experience sucked, I’m glad I didn’t have a seizure that left me brain dead or paralyzed. So there’s that to be thankful for I guess.
I did end up breastfeeding even through taking BP pills for a month. But they said it was safe. Although my son never latched so I had to exclusively pump. I’m pretty sure him having bottles in the hospital right away due to me not being able to nurse right away made him refuse the boob cause he was already used to the bottle nipple. To be fair though, as much as this experience sucked, I’m glad I didn’t have a seizure that left me brain dead or paralyzed. So there’s that to be thankful for I guess.
danhan2545
New member
@girl4god86 The nurse I had described it as the worst tequila hangover while she was helping to clean me up after I threw up for the umpteenth time. It was so incredibly miserable. So nauseous and things hurt and I couldn't get comfortable or sleep but wanted to sleep so bad. I kept apologizing to my nurse as I would come in and out of the haze. I was thankful my baby was being watched in the NICU and that I had convinced my husband to go home to sleep because I didn't want anything or anyone around me. I was so grateful mine was only the 24 hours after delivery and I was borderline needing another day but was able to transition to oral meds.
@girl4god86 It feels like being on acid, having covid and the flu and being hungover. At first I didn’t think it was so bad but it turns out I hadn’t hit therapeutic levels yet. I also had a weird reaction and they gave me a different drug to help but that made me even more out of it. Someone asked me the name of my son but I couldn’t recall at the time and got hysterical. So 10/10 don’t recommend.
girl4god86
New member
@tootie143 That is horrible…as if the physical side effects weren’t bad enough. You and anyone that has gotten the mag drip have my deepest sympathies.
kaylarose3
New member
@writergirlrs I had a similar experience but had gestation diabetes then developed gestational hypertension at 37 weeks. Was induced at 38 and it took 2 full days it was so horrible. Went home and was readmitted 5 days later for postpartum pre eclampsia and the IV magnesium was terrible. I also had blood pressure problems and was on meds for a few months. Thank god it regulated but I feel the same way, the risk isn’t worth it to me. I do not want to go through that again. That is very hard on the body and heart.
underdog_crusader
New member
@writergirlrs Almost exact same pre-e and post-eclampsia conditions as you on my delivery, plus the week stay in the hospital. Horrifying. Anxiety disorder feels like it re-wired my brain. How anyone who survived pre eclampsia and those who still choose to become pregnant again is so beyond me. That’s how I know I’m 10000% OAD.
bkimble001
New member
@writergirlrs This was my exact same experience too, except at 35 weeks.
@girl4god86 I really don’t get it, my cousin has lupus, needs dialysis and was told not to get pregnant because it could kill her… she got pregnant (accidentally) and both her and her extremely premature baby almost died… she was lucky, doctors suggested a hysterectomy, she decided to plan a 2nd baby instead… that’s where I lost it, everyone tried to explain that her little one would be better off an only child than an orphan, but she decided he needed a little sibling… she was lucky enough again, both her and her (again) extremely premature baby made it, just barely, but this time her husband gave her an ultimatum and told her that if she didn’t get her tubes tied he would leave… why he didn’t say it before agreeing to trying for the second baby, I don’t understand… why she was open to a third, I don’t get either… I think she doesn’t get how lucky she was because both times the doctors warned they wouldn’t make it and she and babies did… but it’s not that the doctors were wrong, as she thinks, it’s really that she was super super lucky and modern medicine is a wonderful thing
longing4godtoremake
New member
@longing4godtoremake That would have been my first option, instead of an ultimatum? I just don’t get it with those two
@girl4god86 There are many reasons:
- Some consider a traumatic pregnancy/delivery/pp a fluke and decide to do it again and many times the next pregnancy is fine.
- Religion also dictates that choice for them. My parents believe that if I had prayed and gone to church more, bad things would not have happened to me… that didn’t convince me but some people may. I’m agnostic so maybe it is my fault for not pray more but I don’t care. I don’t believe in that and that experience actually made me question the religion I was brought up in more.
- Some people jump through some serious mental gymnastics and convince themselves that it’s their duty to have a second kid because “they need to give their first a sibling” or “not wanting their child to grow up weird/spoiled as an only”.
I’m sure there are other reasons but I wouldn’t let you bother yourself much. You know your limits and you’ve stopped as a point that works for you. After all, a lot of us would rather be a mom to one and be there for them than die in childbirth or be mentally unavailable.
- Some consider a traumatic pregnancy/delivery/pp a fluke and decide to do it again and many times the next pregnancy is fine.
- Religion also dictates that choice for them. My parents believe that if I had prayed and gone to church more, bad things would not have happened to me… that didn’t convince me but some people may. I’m agnostic so maybe it is my fault for not pray more but I don’t care. I don’t believe in that and that experience actually made me question the religion I was brought up in more.
- Some people jump through some serious mental gymnastics and convince themselves that it’s their duty to have a second kid because “they need to give their first a sibling” or “not wanting their child to grow up weird/spoiled as an only”.
I’m sure there are other reasons but I wouldn’t let you bother yourself much. You know your limits and you’ve stopped as a point that works for you. After all, a lot of us would rather be a mom to one and be there for them than die in childbirth or be mentally unavailable.
captainrogers20
New member
@girl4god86 My placenta was giving out. I was terrified of a still birth. I didn't want to risk loss of a baby. It would crush me. A close couple to us had a still birth at 36 weeks when their first was 2. It was so terrible. They went on to have another, but man. That takes guts.
@girl4god86 Honestly I think some people just don't have the wherewithal to extricate themselves from the expectations that "the show must go on."
Usually it's the woman whose health is in jeopardy and the male partner sometimes doesn't understand the gravity of it (based on attitudes like, "I don't want to understand, because it would be unmanly to understand women's bodies too much" or, "a lot of it's probably in her head") and keeps the pressure up.
Or other family members keep pushing. The old "I almost died too but I went on and had another" or "doctors don't really know anything, I had a doctor tell me my head was going to fall off and look here I am, I'm just fine!"
Some people aren't great at resisting pressure even when it's clearly not in their best interest. (I can't say as this has happened to me with reproductive choices but with other decisions, even other health decisions, it has).
Some people don't have a great comprehension of risk, either.
On the flip side I think a lot of people do stop after a high-risk pregnancy.
Usually it's the woman whose health is in jeopardy and the male partner sometimes doesn't understand the gravity of it (based on attitudes like, "I don't want to understand, because it would be unmanly to understand women's bodies too much" or, "a lot of it's probably in her head") and keeps the pressure up.
Or other family members keep pushing. The old "I almost died too but I went on and had another" or "doctors don't really know anything, I had a doctor tell me my head was going to fall off and look here I am, I'm just fine!"
Some people aren't great at resisting pressure even when it's clearly not in their best interest. (I can't say as this has happened to me with reproductive choices but with other decisions, even other health decisions, it has).
Some people don't have a great comprehension of risk, either.
On the flip side I think a lot of people do stop after a high-risk pregnancy.
@girl4god86 The people who I know personally that have done this have been super religious. For example, my neighbour got pregnant with her son and during blood testing they found out she had early stage kidney disease. The pregnancy damaged her kidneys to the point that her doctors said if she were to get pregnant again she would likely go into kidney failure and require dialysis and eventually a transplant. Well she got pregnant when her son wasn’t even 2, and sure enough by 4 months pregnant she had gone into complete kidney failure and required dialysis 6 times a week for 4 hours a day. They eventually got a special set up at home so she could do her dialysis there and be close to her son, but she was bed-ridden. She eventually got her transplant because her sister’s partner was a match, so she is living a healthy life now, but I don’t know why you would put yourself through that. Especially with this scenario because it wasn’t just a risk of something happening, it was a guarantee. Also, even with a transplant your life isn’t all peaches and cream after, it requires multiple frequent medical appointments, lifelong anti-rejection medications, and you are typically immune compromised, so why she would do that is beyond me.
@rainbow42 Meanwhile I'm over here like "if i have a second can i handle dropping both of them off at different schools every day" lol but this lady didn't even let a guaranteed kidney transplant stop her 
melissa49ers
New member
@girl4god86 Choosing to have a child is an enormous gamble. It's a massive leap of faith. There are millions of healthy children but what's to say your child won't be one of the ones who will end up with health risks, mental problems, etc. The fact is, no one's life is perfect and when you go into parenthood you have to be prepared for everything, the good and the bad. You have to prepare to deny yourself of many things and prepare room for all the other things that will come with your child.
In my case, I have a healthy 5 year old and I yearn for another one but the fear of the unknown is what's keeping me from having another. Life is full of what ifs... what if I die while giving birth to the 2nd one? What if my 2nd one is born with disabilities and changes our lives and the life of my 5 year old? What if they don't get along? But also... what if my 2nd child becomes my older daughter's best friend? What if they help each other through deployments and moving countries (military family)? What if he/she was perfect like my oldest? I yearn for a larger family with all the chaos and noise and risk and anxiety that come with it. But what if it doesn't end up that way? The reality is, you never know in this life.
In my case, I have a healthy 5 year old and I yearn for another one but the fear of the unknown is what's keeping me from having another. Life is full of what ifs... what if I die while giving birth to the 2nd one? What if my 2nd one is born with disabilities and changes our lives and the life of my 5 year old? What if they don't get along? But also... what if my 2nd child becomes my older daughter's best friend? What if they help each other through deployments and moving countries (military family)? What if he/she was perfect like my oldest? I yearn for a larger family with all the chaos and noise and risk and anxiety that come with it. But what if it doesn't end up that way? The reality is, you never know in this life.
@melissa49ers The what ifs are what kill is too. We love our triangle family so much and for the most part, it’s so smooth and things run so well. There is joy and laughter and a little chaos, but nothing unmanageable. I’ve always wanted 2 kids but we’re SO afraid of jeopardizing the good thing we have going!