Genuinely curious - why do people choose to keep having kids despite health risks?

@melissa49ers This really resonates with me. I am actually one of those people with chances of a very high risk pregnancy (no cervix), cancer reoccurance, retained placenta/accreta, but have gone to great lengths still to try. I think it could actually work out just fine, or the complete opposite. Fortunately, my husband helps me stay grounded and be OAD even though I have gone through the most drawn out what if/grieving process ever it seems.
 
oh I forgot to add, 4 hr pushing, emergency c section, cord wrapped 3x, then the d&c 3 weeks pp for the retained placenta which was septic....7 years later I still forget how scary that was. So thankful for my lo...I think its just hard to see her grow up, even though its frigging awesome too.
 
@girl4god86 I was induced early due to preeclampsia, came down with liver issues a few days after I was released from the hospital, and 1 year out I got sepsis from mastitis. I'm not risking my life like that again!

I know a HUGE factor in people deliberately having children against better judgement is religion. I was a little religious before I had my child, and shortly after I had him I left religion. I saw so many who would make stupid decisions and were told time and again to trust God to get you through it, or rather that whatever the outcome was, it was God's will. Back then it's what I thought too. And being Mormon I felt bad at the thought of deciding what to do with my own body and not having a dozen kids to bring spirits to earth for the church. It's messed up how those institutions can pressure people to grow their own population.
 
@girl4god86 I had HELLP as well and had an emergency c-section at 36w5d because my son was breech and they couldn’t turn him since I had an engorged liver that put pressure on my heart. It was a really awful experience. Especially since I wanted and planned for a natural, unmedicated birth. I’ve have a lot of health complications since then. Not to mention the havoc pregnancy wrecked on my teeth. They’re so brittle now. I had a root canal when my son was 4 months old and just today I chipped a tooth eating rice. I’ve always had good dental hygiene. The health risks alone are why we’re OAD.
 
@skyblue77 I've had dental problems since pregnancy too including a root canal! In hindsight I think taking post-natal vitamins while I was ebf would have helped because it just sucks all the minerals out of your body, even more so than pregnancy. But -- unfortunately quite a bit of damage is already done for me.
 
@ayen57 Root canals suck!!! I didn’t even notice the pain at first because I was on pain meds after the c-second. But when I stopped taking them it was so painful it disturbed what little sleep I was getting.

My OB/GYN hounded me to keep taking my prenatals after birth, but I couldn’t even remember what day it was when my son was a newborn let alone remember to take a vitamin three times a day. 😂 I managed to down a couple, but I’ll probably regret not being more consistent with it.
 
@skyblue77 I hear you. They told me to continue the prenatals and I actually thought it was silly -- at the time, I thought, this is a 1st world country, no one here is nutrient deprived. I figured I tolerated the silliness while I was pregnant, now that's over and I'm not going to do it anymore. I had no idea what a drain bf is on the human body!
 
@acuriousgirl Oh! Interesting to know. Well I guess I don't need to beat myself up over that, then. It's easy to look back with "if only"s and sometimes it's not really that simple. Sorry you've been through these nasty dental experiences too, I'm finding some vague comfort in knowing I'm less alone than I thought.
 
@girl4god86 My chances of having pre-e again are pretty high. And next time I probably won't get as lucky with my symptoms holding off until 40 weeks.

I also look at it like a lot went very WELL in my pregnancy/PP and do I really think I'd luck out that well again? Would I have the time to go through pelvic floor PT again? Would I have an incredibly smooth induction again? Would I be able to avoid the mag drip again? Would I be able to come off of blood pressure meds this time? Would I be blessed with a relatively boring and easy pregnancy again?

Even including the hurdles we had to get through with my health, I'm overall incredibly thankful for the journey I had, but I never want to be there again. The things that went poorly, I never wish to do a second time. The things that went well, I cannot trust them to be successful again
 
@girl4god86 No clue, I know someone who almost died from her 3rd pregnancy because of HELLP syndrome and she willingly got pregnant with a 4th! Fortunately it went OK, but it could easily have gone the wrong way.
 
@truthpls I’m in a pre-e/HELLP survivor support group on fb and the majority of people commenting are people pregnant again after their complicated pregnancies/births looking for reassurance and validation that they and their babies will be ok. It’s baffling to me
 
@girl4god86 I totally feel you on this. I had a completely normal pregnancy, then as soon as my water broke, things got scary. I had cord prolapse, and had to have an emergency GA C-section. In those first couple days so many medical folks told me that my baby had almost died, and that I wouldn't have known until it was too late if we hadn't been at the hospital (had the get the gbs antibiotics). I know that it's super rare, and there's basically no chance it would happen with a second kid. But I don't think I can bring myself to risk it (we are still on the fence).
 
@girl4god86 Everything pregnancy is different. One can be low risk with the second being high or also low. And vice versa. Some people just really want a larger family that much
 
@girl4god86 Hi! Just want to comment in solidarity. Developed HELLP syndrome at 36+3, had to have Bub under a general anaesthetic and he spent time in the NICU. My baby deserves a healthy mother more than he would ever need a sibling. It doesn’t make the choice easy, it doesn’t make the choice comfortable, and sometimes it even feels like I’m being over cautious but it’s such a huge barrier to jump over from a risk perspective and we can’t get past it!
 
@alejandrah17 Hugs! I am and probably always will be somewhat bummed that I won’t be having another but exactly what you said, we just can’t chance it. So glad you and baby made it!
 
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