@michaelwayne57 I’m telling you this right now - your husband is struggling with his mental health. He may have major depressive disorder or something similar. Don’t give up on him, he needs help.
Frustrated that husband isn’t taking TTC seriously
- Thread starter michaelwayne57
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tinglee0021
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@michaelwayne57 Doesn't sound like a good role model for children. I don't understand the urge to procreate with the person described in this post. I do understand the urge to conceive and have a baby but if I didn't have a good positive role model as a partner then I wouldn't want children with him. I would rather have them by myself. This sounds like a stressful life, I'm sorry you are stuck in this position. Have you brought up the concept of IUI with donor sperm?
eagleflight
New member
@michaelwayne57 First of all, I am so sorry this is happening. I don't have any advice to share, but just wanted to comment out of solidarity.
We're planning to start actively TTC in August, and I have been doing so much to prepare - research, incorporate healthy foods, increase my activity/workouts, take CoQ10... And my husband just... isn't really making the same efforts. I keep mentioning working out together & he's just not interested. He's great, most of the time. But he complains he doesn't sleep well, he's gained a pretty sizeable gut, etc. I asked him to workout 3-4 times a week and stop eating junk & his response was "I don't want to & that's not important to me." Like, these aren't difficult things and they are good for his health and the health of our future kids. It's not like I'm asking him to do anything crazy. Sure, I've gained weight too, but I'm actively working on my health & he just... doesn't seem to care. I reminded him I don't love working out, but I do it because it's good for me and my health, not because I'm so stoked to hit the gym daily. I recognize that I could eat dessert every day, but that doesn't mean I should. I'm not asking for perfection either, just... more balance and moderation? I'm probably overthinking (which I do 114% of the time).
Essentially, you aren't alone.
We're planning to start actively TTC in August, and I have been doing so much to prepare - research, incorporate healthy foods, increase my activity/workouts, take CoQ10... And my husband just... isn't really making the same efforts. I keep mentioning working out together & he's just not interested. He's great, most of the time. But he complains he doesn't sleep well, he's gained a pretty sizeable gut, etc. I asked him to workout 3-4 times a week and stop eating junk & his response was "I don't want to & that's not important to me." Like, these aren't difficult things and they are good for his health and the health of our future kids. It's not like I'm asking him to do anything crazy. Sure, I've gained weight too, but I'm actively working on my health & he just... doesn't seem to care. I reminded him I don't love working out, but I do it because it's good for me and my health, not because I'm so stoked to hit the gym daily. I recognize that I could eat dessert every day, but that doesn't mean I should. I'm not asking for perfection either, just... more balance and moderation? I'm probably overthinking (which I do 114% of the time).
Essentially, you aren't alone.
@michaelwayne57 You need a clotting panel as well and karyotypes. From all of your posts the semen analysis does look pretty normal.
michaelwayne57
New member
@noahama I’ve done a full RPL panel and everything came back negative (and my clotting antibodies are about as far from the cutoff as can be). My RE thinks that the SA is not very good, ideally healthy motility should be over 50% and concentration should be over 40 mil/ml so he is quite a lot below average (the range of “normal” is huge and his numbers are in the 5th percentile so pretty bad). Granted it’s not terrible and not severe MFI territory, but it’s definitely adding difficulties considering my testing came back as clean and perfect as can be.
@michaelwayne57 Good that you don't have clotting problems. So they believe 4 early losses are because of him?
michaelwayne57
New member
@michaelwayne57 Your losses aren't anyone's fault, I should have not worded it that way, very sorry you've been through recurrent loss. I've met a lot of people who do lovenox for that which is what my diagnosis is. I haven't heard of male infertility issues causing so many losses and implantation issues. Hope that your husband gets treatment that works. Mine has made a ton of lifestyle changes and we will be doing a retest soon although we have been extremely sick this month, so not sure if we have better results yet.b
michaelwayne57
New member
@noahama DNA fragmentation and poor sperm quality is one of the main causes of RPL, this study found that couples with RPL had 2x the DNA fragmentation of couples without miscarriage. So it is very significant.
linda32817
New member
@michaelwayne57 I’m sorry to hear this. Sending you hugs 