@irefusetofail Ah you are me from a few weeks ago. I sleep trained (modified Ferber method) and this past week my baby has only just started to connect her own sleep cycles. It was driving me insane and making me so angry that every single day I had to wrap her and baby wear to save her nap. She connected all of her naps yesterday!
We basically did Ferber but chose our own check in windows. If she was hard crying we would check in sooner, if she was fussing we would leave her.
At first we only trained at night and I regret that because as soon as we started training for naps too nights got better.
I am no expert and we still have our issues but I can at least sympathize with you and offer you some advice on what worked for us. Solidarity, saving several naps a day is so draining!
@josephhsiao34 Ya the “nap saving” is KILLING me! And the messy house is starting to take a toll on my mental health!
Especially having a school aged kid too who wants love and attention as well is hard AF when you’re already touched out and overstimulated by 3PM
What did you do though if she didn’t stop fussing or crying even after check ins during nap, like say it’s been an hour or so and no nap yet. Do u just take her out and go about the rest of the day? Or just wrap her up and nap her!
@irefusetofail For naps I handle different to bedtime. If it is the first nap and it has been 15-20 mins since she woke up and won’t resettle on her own I save it. Personally the first nap for us is the most important and if that one is short she is miserable the rest of the day.
If she doesn’t resettle for nap two then I go on with the day (unless nap one was really bad and she refused to sleep more than 1 hour total). Usually will have to make the wake window after nap two shorter as she is a bit tired towards the end of it.
I never save the last nap. I actually find now at 6 months I have to cut it short so bedtime doesn’t end too late.
I try and make sure she has minimum 3hrs sleep per day.
I forgot to mention but I also get her outside on a walk every morning (no matter the weather) before nap 1. I think it really helps set her circadian rhythm.
@nickel Do you have any recommendations on how to go about sleep training? because truthfully, I will try anything because I basically just cry all day on and off because I feel like I’m doing something wrong
@irefusetofail I'm so sorry. It depends on how hands on you want to be. I did the following:
Naps- 20-30 mins of attempt with no check ins. After the attempt I rescued with a carrier nap and moved on with my day. First week I rescued 100% of naps.
Bedtime- no rescuing, just put down and let her cry until she went to sleep. At the 45 min mark, we would check and console, but also, if she seemed unreasonably upset, we could before this.
Some people do more check ins, but you have to figure out if they actually help or just make things worse.
@irefusetofail Does she seem tired and giving sleepy cues in the morning? She might need to be awake a little longer to fall asleep.
Also, even though it will be a short nap aim for trying to get her to sleep at least once in the crib. If you are consistent and do it every day it will hopefully start to get longer.
I used to lay down my baby and then keep my hand on her chest if she stirred and helped her get back to sleep without picking her up. Slowly she would pop her eyes open less and less.
Also make sure room is between 68-72, sound machine on and really dark!
Just remember you are helping her build a skill and it will take some time but you got this
@lbtracemobi So my question then is, for example today I’ll try that 12:30 nap in the crib! HOWEVER she was SO fussy at 9:10 like I rocked her to sleep and she woke up @ 9:40 and I tried for like 15 mins to rock her back and she just wasn’t having it. So essentially do I push her anyway to 12:30? And then I totally see what you are saying about the hand on chest but it’s almost like without me sitting in the room I don’t catch her in time and then she has worked herself up so much and stars to cry
@irefusetofail If she’s waking up fussy, I would definitely not stretch her to a specific time and stick with your next wake window length. You’ll only compound the crap naps making her overtired. Trust me!
I’m no expert, but I’ve tried everything to get my 7mo’s wake windows figured out almost perfectly so she’ll take longer naps and sleep better at night. And stretching WW too long gives us only one sleep cycle (31-37 min) naps and lots of waking at night.
My LO is not sleep trained for nights or naps. I still rock her to sleep and I get 1-1.5h naps.
Figuring out the perfect WW lengths and then making sure she has the right amount of awake time total has been absolute key for me fixing our sleep woes. Next, I want to sleep train so she doesn’t rely on me only (apparently I’m the sleep association ), but we’ll get there!
@missymomof3ky So just to clarify, if she is waking up at 10AM instead of 10:30, don’t put her back to sleep, but still continue w the original time of next being 12:30 ISH? Which is basically a 2.5 hour wake window? Which typing this out doesn’t seem that crazy given she’s just shy of 6 months (week wise anyway)
@irefusetofail If you normally put down at 12:30 when they wake at 10:30, I’d put down at 12 if waking at 10. But it sounds like maybe 10 is pushing it too long for the first wake time if she’s only napping 30 min and fussy upon waking.
