Forcing myself to wait for ultrasound until 7-8 weeks, but the waiting is torture
Iām sorry for your loss and so happy to hear of your success! Do you know what the app is called?@pugh The app is Pregnancy After Loss (it's a little green pregnant belly with a heart). I hope it brings you some comfort. I liked using it because, like other pregnancy tracking apps, it tells you the size of the baby, etc, but it gives so much more to loss moms who struggle to celebrate milestones due to the overwhelming fear of getting attached and losing again. Wishing you all the best! 
@pugh I understand your worries. I also had my first miscarriage in September 2023. When I found out I was pregnant I was 5 weeks and a day later I had my ob appt. They did ultrasound and I thought it was way too early. It was. But unfortunately nothing implanted. My gestational sac was hanging in my cervix and by what should have been six weeks I miscarriaged completely.
I told myself that next time I get pregnant Iām going to ask not to have an ultrasound until Iām 7 or 8 weeks. Because of my fear of this happening again. Unless I start bleeding, I just donāt want a chance to look at an empty uterus again. I want the first ultrasound to be a good experience. Your feelings are completely normal. Unfortunately, miscarriage takes something away from you. I even agreed that next time, I wonāt allow myself to get excited until I see a baby on the screen. But even then, Iām sure Iāll be worried until I carry to full term. I wish miscarriage wasnāt a thing. But it is, and itās a wound that truly never heals. It leave behind sadness and trauma. All we can do is hold our breath and cross our fingers that the next time will be a success. And I pray that you get your rainbow baby. I pray all of us do. Hang in there mama.
I told myself that next time I get pregnant Iām going to ask not to have an ultrasound until Iām 7 or 8 weeks. Because of my fear of this happening again. Unless I start bleeding, I just donāt want a chance to look at an empty uterus again. I want the first ultrasound to be a good experience. Your feelings are completely normal. Unfortunately, miscarriage takes something away from you. I even agreed that next time, I wonāt allow myself to get excited until I see a baby on the screen. But even then, Iām sure Iāll be worried until I carry to full term. I wish miscarriage wasnāt a thing. But it is, and itās a wound that truly never heals. It leave behind sadness and trauma. All we can do is hold our breath and cross our fingers that the next time will be a success. And I pray that you get your rainbow baby. I pray all of us do. Hang in there mama.
@pugh Thank you and same to you as well! My uterus didnāt have a sac. When I finally went to the ER for bleeding they did a more thorough ultrasound and found the collapsed sac in my cervix. It was so devastating. What I did find out just this week is the reason for my miscarriage is an overactive thyroid. So itās a blessing I havenāt gotten pregnant these last two cycles that we have tried because it would have resulted in the same event.
@pugh I just wanted you to know I am right here with you. Iām 5 wks 4 days today. First pregnancy was a chemical in Feb of ā22. I got pregnant via IUI December 22ā, and that ended in an MMC at 12 weeks- found out at the scan that our baby stopped growing around 8 weeks. After waiting weeks to miscarry naturally I had a D&C in March.
We did our third IUI December ā23 and it was successful. Iāve been managing the anxiety well for the last week and a half, but partially I think that is because Iām just scared to truly connect in case something happens again. My first scan is 1/24 at exactly 8 weeks and just in the last two days my anxiety has really started to ramp up. I think the best we can do is try to keep ourselves distracted and keep the anxiousness at bay through anything that helps us feel good- meditation, light exercise/stretching, sunshine, good food, fun, etc.
Thank you to the other posters for their helpful tips for the weeks ahead.
Keep us posted on your progress! You are in my prayers.
We did our third IUI December ā23 and it was successful. Iāve been managing the anxiety well for the last week and a half, but partially I think that is because Iām just scared to truly connect in case something happens again. My first scan is 1/24 at exactly 8 weeks and just in the last two days my anxiety has really started to ramp up. I think the best we can do is try to keep ourselves distracted and keep the anxiousness at bay through anything that helps us feel good- meditation, light exercise/stretching, sunshine, good food, fun, etc.
Thank you to the other posters for their helpful tips for the weeks ahead.
Keep us posted on your progress! You are in my prayers.
@pugh Iām 7 weeks and have my first ultrasound Friday. Over the last year I had a chemical, an MMC at 10 weeks after hearing a strong heartbeat, and then an early loss at 7 weeks. Unfortunately for me, hearing that first heartbeat isnāt even comforting. So youāve got that going for you at least! Iām hopeful by the time I get out of the first trimester Iām convinced weāre going to make it but weāll see. 
@pugh Not one. Everything was perfect until it wasnāt. Sometimes I guess it just happens. And I am an incredibly healthy person - former semi pro athlete, I eat extremely cleanly, no smoking drugs or drinking, and no coffee. Literally couldnāt have given it a better shot and still there was a failure with absolutely no symptoms or indicators. You just kind of have to let go and realize itās out of your hands.
