Food for thought from a twin: naming your multiple bundles of joy

[rhandi]

After some recently transpired events, i realized my twin ship has afforded me a perspective worth sharing

Let me start by saying, my twin sister and I share A) our last name (duh), B) the same first three letters of our first names, C) the same middle initial, D) our birthday (given), and all but one number of our social security numbers.

Let me continue by adding that I wouldn't change this fact for the world and love having a name similar to hers ... but it makes life complicated. Seriously. And I'm speaking on behalf of all twins in the same situation.

Now a 24-year-old adult, the similarities in our "form(s) of identification" are a lot more serious than being called the wrong name. Let me give you a few (all too real-life) examples.

A) Combined credit scores. All three bureaus
If you caught on years after the fact, years into mistaken financial info like we did .... nightmare.

"No, fourth person I've talked to regarding identity fraud, I am not scamming the government, any institution, or committing identity theft. Kindly unfreeze my bank accounts, please."

No wonder my credit was always so low, I had her student loan and bankruptcy. We didn't even begin to try and establish responsibility for the $10,000+ of medical bills in collections, which brings me to my next point.

B) Medical records
No matter how many times I mention and politely remind staff I AM A TWIN, DO NOT COMBINE OUR MEDICAL HISTORY, the message falls through the cracks.

Really though, who can blame them? Printed as "LAST NAME, FIRST THREE LETTERS OF FIRST NAME, MIDDLE INITIAL." on most official paperwork, we are basically the same person. (The only reason this is kind of a biggie is because I have a heart condition that requires regular care).

C) Medical bills and insurance

I've got the "we are not committing insurance fraud, double billing the same procedure, twice for the same person" speech down pat. Growing up, this was an issue as well ... just for my mom. Multiple. Multiple. Providers over the years and have quite literally been told the "while it may be a simple mix up, the risk of caring for your health is too risky." To be fair, it's improved immensely over the years.

D) Plane tickets/booking via any type of government transportation

Does my mom think she's gonna get away with buying two seats on a plane for "two different people with identical names." Not a chance. Back when 9/11 first happened, we were flagged as security threats on more than a few flights, refused the right to board and given the "shrugged shoulder" response. (No grudges held). After all, how is your name printed on an airline ticket?

E) Matters of the law

This one is fun, almost like playing guess who as a "criminal." Long story short, she had a warrant for failing to appear at a court date (traffic tickets, nothing serious .... she went at 2:30, not seeing the '1' in 12:30). Later that week, I appear for jury duty. Yup. I've never been looked at it such disbelief, explaining "they're looking for my twin sister, she's the one in trouble." Lol ...

Another fun time: my car was mistakenly booted instead of hers (again, she never pays traffic tickets). Same kind of car, relatively "same" color on paper (silver vs. navyish dark gray), registered to two different people ... the guy just called it good at the same make, model, birthday, and name on his paperwork ... IGNORING THE LICENSE PLATE number. Again, true story.

Driving/criminal record? Combined combined combined. ... combined. We gave up on that one lol (luckily no misdemeanors or felonies ) oh, under "other aliases," the opposite twin's info is always listed because "they've heard that one before."

F) Matters of personal finance

Filing taxes... especially since we've always enjoyed working at the same company. I'll save you the listen.

Credit cards/loans. - it's basically a race to see who can get approved the fastest, the first on scene to coincidentally avoid hours of paperwork and wasted time (I'm 0 for 3).

G) Official academic business

-SAT/ACT cheating scandals
-college tuition/financial aid status (btw, financial aid is awarded "per family," AKA: Cut in half if you're a twin.

Please understand, while I'm complaining and whining your ears and eyes off, this post is loaded with sarcasm and in jest (100% true though. ).

Do I hate being named like my twin? Never once.

Am I or have I ever been upset with my mom for knowing how to pick 'em? Nope.

Did I always dream of naming my (hopeful) future twins the same? Indeed.

Do I still dream of naming them the same, knowing what I know now? You bet.

Just wanted to share some food for thought from a twin

... No matter what, we always have a great "twin' story to tell

 

[katrina2017]

@rhandi My twins have totally different names, completely different SSNs (they quit that sequential bullshit years ago). STILL a headache.

You'd think that I was the first woman in the history of the planet to have two babies on the same day.

According to insurance, I have triplets (two with the exact same name). According to social security, they should have the same middle name. Any time I order two of something online, one gets automatically cancelled and I get refunded, then I have to call and explain that yes, I do actually need two car seats

Can't imagine doing it with similar names too.

 

[popdave4011]

@katrina2017

You'd think that I was the first woman in the history of the planet to have two babies on the same day.

This. This all the time. We have B/G twins and I still confuse people when I hand over 2 sets of paperwork.

 

[ngodap]

@katrina2017

According to insurance, I have triplets (two with the exact same name)

That's funny- when we had our triplets 20+ years ago we had no end of trouble at first because a lot of insurance/medical/provincial software couldn't count anything higher than twins. We still occasionally run into problems with our girls- very different names, but they now use different pharmacies just to minimize the hassle.

 

[rhandi]

@ngodap I guess the saying of "one is a mistake, two is an accident, and three is on purpose" could apply here (obviously a joke. I'm not a horrible person).

If someone were to see 'three' of anything, they'd probably look a little further into the issue rather than assuming duplicates are the results of simple human error.

 

[ngodap]

@rhandi Ha- believe me, mine were an 'accident'...I was on the pill.

Best oops ever (in the long run), but it was a little startling, to say the least.

 

[rhandi]

@ngodap Sounds like a double dose of a pleasant surprise

I recently had the pleasure of being present during my childhood best friend's ultrasound (her first pregnancy) and watched a look of shock and panic wash over her face when the tech announced she's carrying twins lol

'Startling' is definitely very fitting.

 

[rhandi]

@katrina2017 Bless you for breaking the same name trend (and you dodged one hell of a bullet with their SS numbers).

Ahh ... The ordering of anything online. That, I have to say, is a new complication I've not encountered yet.

What are the chances you already know the necessary extensions before hearing the customer service "menu options" at Amazon? lol.

 

[katrina2017]

@rhandi Oh no, Amazon is amazing. Amazon is life. Every other company, however, can kiss my ass

 

[rhandi]

@katrina2017 Amazon is life lol I wholeheartedly agree.

 

[harmed]

@rhandi I'm assuming you're a female, so you and your twin sister are the same gender. That almost excuses some of the confusion, especially if you are identical and therefore, also look alike.

As a parent of twins, I STILL get medical providers and insurance companies screwing things up and confusing my kids despite the fact that they don't even have similar first names and they're opposite genders. So frustrating.

The most blatant example of ridiculousness is when both kids had tubes put in their ears. We get the EOBs and later the final bills and we owed like $600 for one twin and nothing for the other. They had the same insurance and the exact same procedure, medicine, everything. Several people swore in the accuracy of the billing. Finally after speaking with several supervisors and carefully explaining the circumstances, they realized a mistake was made.

Luckily the Social Security Administration now issues SSNs at random, so my twins have totally different SSNs. That would be a total nightmare.

 

[rhandi]

@harmed Yup. We are identical

The medical nonense sounds like a nightmare You understand the hassle all too well it sounds like . I don't wish to seal your fate, but I predict many, many similar instances in the future (sorry).

But when the SS start issuing randoms? That would have made a world of difference!

Shared birthday: 9% source of the confusion.

Similaity in first names: 13% of the confusion.

Same middle initial: 19% of the confusion.

Similiarity in mother f-ing SS Number: 59% source of the confusion.

 

[krispablos]

@rhandi I went to school with a set of identicals named Brent and Bret.... Even back then I couldn't understand why you would do that.

 

[rhandi]

@krispablos One. Letter. Difference?! Those poor boys lol

 

[katrina2017]

@rhandi Holy hell...

I'm glad our biggest problem is not knowing yet if they're identical! Depending on if/when the egg split, there's still a 10% chance. 18 months in, and aside from haircut and teeth, they're clones!

Their names are one letter different, and we have had 0 of the problems I've seen in this thread.

Counting my lucky moons. Both left and right cheeks

 

[viracox]

@katrina2017 It's like $150ish for a zygotsity test, I think. We're planning on getting them tested if they come out looking like identicals.

 

[rhandi]

@katrina2017 Sidenote ... I recently did quite a bit of research on genetic identiy within identical twins.

Long story short: 'next generation sequencing (NGS),' the DNA testing sequence able to identify genetic differences (mutations) in identical twins, is not currently admissible in a U.S. court of law. Very serious (not sure about the rest of the world but would assume the same).

I was surprised to find out the process is relatively controversial in the medical/legal world. As the process codes DNA regions "related to bodily functions, phenotype and ancestry," it's triggering state-level and "legal privacy issues." Some states (Indiana, New Mexico, Rhode Island and Wyoming, for example), don't even currently allow phenotype testing as an admissible form of proof of identity.

The FDA has held three public meetings (September 2014, February 2015, and November 2015) regarding the regulation of and standards relating to NGS within diagnostics and the legal system. Since then, two proposals on the regulation of NGS have been drafted. Apart from that, no further updates (that I know of) have been released.

Basically, the FDA recognizes NGS as a valuable source of genetic information and is pursuing independent research geared towards its approval in forensics and diagnostics. It's going to be a long, long journey ahead.

Another side note ... NGS was presented to a Supreme Court Judge as evidence to a case for the first time in the history of the U.S. justice system in March of 2017 ... This year. Spoiler alert: it was deemed inadmissible.

 

[rhandi]

@katrina2017 Lucky lucky!

To be fair, we were born right around the time they began to store data and personal information electronically/online ('93). I think two more years would have made a world of difference in keeping things straight lol

 

[viracox]

@rhandi Thanks for the perspective! This is really valuable to consider while I'm still settling on names.

My twin aunts are named with very distinct first names that have very "twinsy" nicknames, which I have tried to emulate while picking names for my girls. I've tentatively selected names that share the same initial sounds but start with different letters.

 

[rhandi]

@viracox If I could change anything or go back in time ... it would be the mother fucking middle initial. I'm convinced that's one of the biggest conspirators against me.

Having the same birthday isn't too much of a concern, multiple people at the same institution, whether it be a doctor's office, university, etc. share the same birthday.

Having similar names isn't even the worst of it. We have pretty unique, Norwegian-inspired names that most people mispell or misprounce anyway. Actually, the fact they're so different as a 'pair' I think actually awards us a bit of saving grace ... they generally cause people to do a double take (on paper or in person).

Those two elements combined, again, not entirely aweful or confusing.

It's when you add in the middle initial that all hell breaks lose. Verifying someone's identity, we start with

1) First and last name.

2) Narrow it done with the birthday

By this time ... a handful of correct assumptions would be appropriate (depending on your data size).

3). Middle initial. Dooming.

People usually assume we're the same person, entered twice because of a spelling error in the first name wrong.

"Jaylon P. Hopper" and "Jaysum P. Hopper:" same birthday, similar name but different by two letters. A reasonable person would agree they could, in fact, be two different people. Throw in the same birthday, that's no longer the assumption.

My two cents: ABORT MISSION ON THE SAME MIDDLE INITIAL.