Financials and Fear

[timekeeper]

I (29f) really want to have two kids between when I am 30-34.
Does anyone else worry that once the baby is here, that life could becone financially worse off? I read the statistics but, do kids really cost that much in the U.S.? If I wait to save money to cover childcare the first 3 years, could I be missing out having the "best" window to concieve? Is it all just chance?

 

[divinemercypilgrim]

@timekeeper I don't know if this is the 'right' way, but for what it's worth - My strategy has been to focus on cash flow, rather than savings, and take it one baby at a time.

Counterintuitively, we downsized our home before having a baby, because it freed up hundreds of dollars per month of cash flow. We have no debt except my car, which I hope to pay off ASAP. With these changes, we're not worried about saving a bunch of money for daycare; we're just prepared to pay the daycare and most other expenses month by month. (To be clear, we also have savings... but it's not super massive.)

We're also taking it one baby at a time. I want minimum 2, probably 3 kids. Three kids is absolutely not feasible for us right now, but 1 kid is. So, we're focusing on the 1 kid, and trusting that the necessary life changes will happen when they happen and make it possible to have a 2nd, and maybe a 3rd, eventually.

I'm not sure what is influencing your strict timeline, and I don't want to talk you out of something that makes sense for you. But, if you're able to have some flexibility, it could be helpful!

 

[gracefaith7]

@divinemercypilgrim Cash flow is our focus, too--making sure that we have stable incomes as well as savings and that we have a comfortable amount to spend on/save for baby when we get to that point. TTC feels more "attainable" for us this way versus having a specific number we "have" to have in savings before we're even ready to start.

 

[raytheon]

@timekeeper My focus has just been on paying off any debt from house repairs and saving what I can for now. Idk if I’d ever feel financially “ready” but I’m in a better financial position than most people I know who have had kids (most of them have been unplanned when they were younger) so that’s something . I think a lot of the stuff that are also marketed for babies and children are just not necessary. Most things can secondhand. The crisis about the cost of childcare which is unfortunately unavoidable for most people but If you’re able to get a family member or friend to watch them semi regularly that can also help lower the cost, I know a few people who will take turns watching their kids together or trade off other types of chores/favors.

 

[tim_o]

@timekeeper I mean, will I be financially worse off with a kid? Objectively yes. We’re going on 2 daycare tours (in home, nothing fancy at all) tomorrow and they each cost $2700/mo. It will slowly go down to like $1500 once kid hits 2 and we look at not fancy, play-based preschool options. Then finally, that glorious moment when they get to go to public kindergarten but that will be at age 5.

We’re able to afford it with normal cash flow, but we will definitely be saving less/nothing for a couple years. That’s not necessarily a negative for us because we want a family so that money is going to fulfill a need. But it still sure is painful.

 

[enoob57]

@timekeeper 2 kids in 4 years is a small window, esp when you have no idea how long it might take you to get pregnant each time. If you’re positive you want 2 by 34 I’d get trying sooner rather than later. If you want to save money you may need to adjust your cut off age.