Feeling mom guilt over 3 year old attending Pre K due to speech delay

@inofk71 Oh man, I kind of miss the days when she only had five words because she never shuts up now, lol. But I had a friend comment the other day about how clear her speech had gotten and Iā€™ve noticed that strangers are able to understand her relatively well. I think weā€™re getting close to the end of needing speech therapy and OT which is really kind of sad, she absolutely adores her therapists.
 
@plantlover Our oldest is the same! šŸ˜¹ I was just reassuring my sister that her 2 yo WILL eventually talk, and telling her to remember that it took our oldest until 3.5 to really start speaking and now at 5 we canā€™t get her to pipe down. She still has speech issues that we are working on, but she has come SUCH a long way. I remember how scary those early days were when it felt like sheā€™d never get there ā¤ļø
 
@inofk71 It was amazing for my son. He was considered nonverbal, but he had a normal receptive score. He did amazing in preschool. He loved his teachers and remembers them to this day. He is disappointed that his sister canā€™t go to the same preschool.
 
@inofk71 My 4 year old has been diagnosed with autism. He did ABA for just under 3 years before starting PreK4 at a charter school this year. We see improvement every day. At the end of the day I don't have the skills to teach him what he needs to know in a way he'll understand.
 
@inofk71 Youā€™re doing the right thing, my friend. Donā€™t feel guilty. Itā€™s nothing you have done.

I have worked in a classroom for children with autism for a while now and pre-k was my favorite. I met one boy when he was non verbal at age 3; no functional language, just jargon. I recently saw him in middle school speaking in full sentences - initiating conversation.

My cousinā€™s son was non-verbal until the age of 3.5, maybe? Went into a full time pre-k program and has improved so much.

My point is, youā€™re doing the right thing. Your son will make gains. They might happen super fast, or it could happen gradually over time. But it will happen and itā€™s because you recognized he needed some extra help and you got it for him.
 
@inofk71 I was there. My daughter is 8 now and thriving. She actually turned out to be partially deaf and it was HARD itā€™s okay to feel all the feels. We went and worked hard and gave her all the tools possible to succeed and itā€™s just about taking it a day at a time. Sending love your way. Itā€™s so hard to not feel guilty but you are doing everything right love.
 
@inofk71 Iā€™m an elementary school SLP and used to work in EI. I want to echo (from a professionalā€™s perspective) that you havenā€™t done anything wrong! We donā€™t know exactly why some kids have a language delay, but it is ABSOLUTELY and UNEQUIVOCALLY not your fault. Iā€™m so proud of you for recognizing how you can help your child and choosing to put in the work for him ā¤ļø
 
@inofk71 We were in the exact same position. Did a year and a half through covid of early intervention. At 3, I got him in the school system, and it's the best thing we ever did. He is 5 and in kindergarten now. He still receives speech services as well. His language goes in spurts. He adds large amounts of words at a time to his vocabulary and then stalls for a little bit, and we repeat the cycle. He has sight words and does phenomenal with those as well often scoring 100's.

What we didn't know and likely would have never figured out was his love and skill for math. He is adding and subtracting large numbers already and counting to 100 +. His pre-k teacher discovered this and helped foster it while he was in her class. He impressed a few 5th grade teachers last night at a school night out event.

He will grow friendships, and you will have advocates for him at the school. It's hard not to feel like you failed, but some kids are just delayed. Now my son talks all the time and will tell me often he is talking for his baby sister. We have to play the quiet game some days so his dad and I can think!
 
@caspianrex Thatā€™s so awesome about your son! Iā€™m really hoping Pre K opens up a whole new world for him, Iā€™m so anxious to hear his little voice and to hear him call me ā€œmamaā€.

Thank you for response
 
@inofk71 My older child had a speech delay. She received early intervention for about a year, then went to public Pre K for 2 years, receiving speech therapy while there. At the very end of the second year of preschool, she dramatically improved. She went from hardly speaking to being the loudest kid in her gymnastics class. She started kindergarten at 5 and has been doing well there.

After all this, Iā€™ve come to realize for her it was part of who she is. She is methodical, likes to fully process things before she speaks, and occasionally still needs a minute to process more complex thoughts. Then I looked at my husband and realize they share a lot of similarities. Sometimes they get lost in whatever activity they find interesting, so much so they literally donā€™t hear you unless you get really close and/or keep repeating what youā€™re saying. But itā€™s that same superpower that helps my husband hone in on his work. For my daughter, she just needed that time to focus and process what she wanted to say. Someday I think her ability to focus and methodically process things will help her. In the meantime, we just encourage her. She has done so well and we are so proud of her. Thereā€™s nothing I could have done that would have changed who she is, nor would I want to. Of course, itā€™s much easier looking back and I had similar feelings as you did at the time. We are rooting for you and your son!!
 
@inofk71 This happened with my son. Got him evaluated when he was 2, he had in home services provided by the state. Turned 3 and got an IEP, was sent to speech twice a week, but he wouldnā€™t stay he just cried and cried so no school speech for him. Instead we took him to weekly speech sessions and he got about 6 months worth of sessions, those were through our health insurance, he made some progress and we we were happy but he was still not speaking appropriately for his age. When he was a a little over 3.5 years old he started talking so much, clearly and in two languages. Your sweet boy will get there, give him some time.
 
@inofk71 It really is.
I had forgotten that my oldest also had a similar problem. She did not fully speak in 2-3 word phrases until she was 3. Sheā€™s perfectly fine now, except she has trouble pronouncing the r in Spanish, but her English is perfect. The middle one could speak in complete 3-5 word sentences by 1.5. All kids are different. They talk when they want to. Your son will too. The speech therapist said that sometimes kids are not talking but they are listening so once they let loose they will start saying a lot of words because theyā€™ve been listening this whole time.
 
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