Experiences w/ a fading method at 17mos? Formerly sleep trained w/ Ferber.

[itsmeheathermarie]

So my LO (17mo) has been a pretty good sleeper overall. We sleep trained ~6 mo using Ferber, then he weaned himself off the overnight bottle ~8 mos- it worked like a charm and outside of the occasional illness or otherwise ‘off day,’ sleep has been great.

Cue 5 weeks ago- he stopped wanting us to leave the room at bedtime. He had a gross motor delay and this coincided both with being able to pull to stand and separation anxiety. We did probably not a great thing and started laying next to his crib- at first he’d fall asleep relatively quickly so it was no big deal. Then he got COVID and had a ton of respiratory issues (diagnosed w/ asthma) so we just wanted to keep him comfy. Now we are at a point where he’s not napping enough (will wake up clearly exhausted and refuse to sleep more), bedtime is taking 40+ minutes (throws his pacifier at us, walks around the crib, cries, laughs, etc.), and he’s struggling to sleep through the night without one of us in there. He often seems exhausted.

We need to work on this but honestly I’m worried that doing any kind of CIO type method will send him into an asthma attack and I just don’t feel right about CIO at this moment in our family (when he was little he got significantly more agitated if he was in his crib and we were still in the room as opposed to out of it- not the case anymore). Has anyone used a fading method at this age? Any tips?

 

[knowledgeisnotignorant]

@itsmeheathermarie @trivalee did. Hopefully she can provide some guidance.

Separation anxiety was bad at this age. Also the 2-1 transition is brutal even in the best of circumstances. I'd also not be comfortable with CIO with the asthma attacks.

Is camping out (set up a reasonable sleeping space in his room for the parent like a floor mattress or a futon) an option? You don't have to engage when you are in there--just pretend to be asleep (or actually sleep, or listen to podcasts/audiobooks). This will buy you some time to 1) stabilize his schedule, 2) wait out the separation anxiety, and 3) work on the asthma. Then you can work on an exit plan.

 

[itsmeheathermarie]

@knowledgeisnotignorant Oh I should have clarified! The sleep disturbances, taking so long to go down, etc. are with us laying on his floor i can’t figure out if my presence is part of the problem (contributing to the wanting to dink around instead of sleep) or if this is just a tough time and me being there helps.