EFF in a “Baby-Friendly Hospital” - how to prepare?

herooftheday

New member
I’m a FTM due in January and am delivering at a “Baby-Friendly Hospital.” I’m planning to exclusively formula feed from birth and am really worried about the experience I’ll have there with pressure to breastfeed and access (or lack thereof) to formula to feed my baby. After my labor and newborn care classes with this hospital, I’m particularly concerned because I was given so little information when I asked about formula feeding. I’ve read through a lot of old posts on here but wanted to ask a couple specific questions. Thank you in advance for any advice!!!

1–What should I bring to the hospital with me? My own formula? Bottles? How many/how much? For context, I think there’s a high likelihood this ends up being a planned c-section, so it could be a longer stay.

2–Was there any specific approach/phrasing/etc that was especially effective in reducing the pressure to breastfeed? I’ve put it in my birth plan that I’m making the informed choice to formula feed and do not want to see a lactation consultant, but not sure how much that is going to be respected just because I wrote it down. 😕

3–What did skin-to-skin look like for you if you exclusively formula fed from birth? Did they give you a bottle to feed baby? How soon?

4–Not a formula question, but did you have any issues making use of the nursery at your “baby friendly hospital” where they are so insistent on rooming in? I’m hoping to take advantage of it if we need some sleep, but in my labor class, the educator kept insisting that “well, there is a nursery, but so many people are in and out of there that baby is exposed to a lot of germs and it’s safer not to use it.” This is at one of the top ten ranked hospitals in the US. 🤦‍♀️

**Edited to say thank you so much to everyone who responded! This is so much helpful insight and I really appreciate it. I’ll update the post with my experience too once it happens for folks who may be looking for this info later. Thanks again!

** Post-baby edit: So I actually had a super positive experience in my baby-friendly hospital. I brought my own RTF Enfamil NeuroPro (2 32 oz bottles) plus two Comotomo bottles, a thing of bottle soap, and a travel bottle washing kit. Didn’t need any of it (but was glad to have it just in case). I was asked in the L&D room if I was breastfeeding and I said no, formula, and then was asked if I wanted Enfamil or Similac. And that was that. I had a c-section and they showed the baby to me through the clear drape (couldn’t actually see the surgery or anything, just the baby), then brought him over to me to have my husband hold him on my chest after weighing and doing APGAR (had GD). I got the shakes after so didn’t want to hold him just yet for safety, but they let me hold him on my chest as soon as I wanted despite not being interested in breastfeeding. Skin to skin was definitely encouraged in the postpartum room. Had a few postpartum nurses ask formula or breastfeeding when they came in for the first time to meet us, but never in a pushy way, just in a routine tone like asking my pain level. They brought a box of 6 of the RTF nursettes plus nipples anytime I asked or when they noticed we were getting low, just like they did for diapers and wipes. I was actively encouraged to make use of the nursery and it was a lifesaver. Never had a lactation consultant come by and never felt anything but supported on my decision to EFF.

From the responses I got, clearly not everyone at a baby friendly hospital is this lucky. I think I would bring my own RTF nursettes if I was worried for sure (and honestly, I don’t regret bringing them because it gave me peace of mind going into things that we would be ready if we needed to be). The disposable nipples for the RTF bottles can be hard to find, but FYI, you can use Dr. Brown’s narrow nipples or the Evenflo twist nipples with the white collars on the disposable RTF nursette bottles and just wash the nipples in the sink if you need to. I think it also helped that I was firm and direct in just saying no to the question of breastfeeding without being wishy-washy—that is advice I got below and I think it probably could make a difference if you sound like you’re on the fence. Sending good luck to anyone reading this later!
 
@herooftheday Best advice I can give is to call ahead to the hospital and ask what they will/will not provide you with.

I delivered twins in a baby-friendly hospital in July. I had intended to BF and informed them of that on arrival. After baby A returned to us from special care nursery, I asked to see a LC. I was told there was no one on staff that day. I asked the nurse to come help. She was too busy and never came in. I asked for a hospital grade pump. I was told there was a shortage and they didn't have any.

They did, however, provide me with as much RTF formula and nipples ad I asked for. So take the term "baby-friendly" with a grain of salt.

Oh, & we exclusively FF now. It was the best decision I ever made (even though the hospital kind of forced my hand to it with lack of support lol).
 
@herooftheday Bring all your own stuff. My baby friendly hospital experience was nothing but lactation consultants and they didn’t even have a nursery that wasn’t NICU related (or if they did it wasn’t advertised to me at ALL.) id personally being ready to feed formula so your hubby can open and pop the nipple on and the staff don’t have an opportunity to say shit. I really hated my experience with the baby friendly hospital so just stick to your guns and prep hubby to step in to advocate if you’re too tired to do so. (I don’t mean to scare you, your hospital may be easier going than mine was but it’s always nice to be prepared)
 
@contemplating thats good to know! this might a stupid question, but when do you start feeding the baby? like i know they place the baby on your breast for skin to skin right after delivery. but then you are in the hospital for like at least another full 24 hours (at least in my state). so when do i feed the baby again after that? and since im doing formula do i mention that before he is born so i have it on hand?
 
@histruth I had an induction, so I had time to chat with my nurse beforehand, not sure what you will be doing. But she asked if we were planning to breast or formula feed. I let her know formula and she made note of it. I ended up having a c section and she grabbed the formula for us immediately after and laid the baby on me and I fed her. After that, when we were back in the room, they explained that she would let us know when she was hungry, but that she would need fed every 2-4 hours. You will quickly get the hang of that! And don’t be afraid to ask your nurses. I was warned about baby friendly hospital nurses being snooty about formula feeding, but that was absolutely not our experience!
 
@histruth Mine did but only because she was jaundice so idk how it works otherwise. It may be worth giving them a shout! Mine was over the top and I knew that going into it from reviews but yours may be much different
 
@herooftheday Definitely call and ask what they'll provide you with and plan accordingly. My "baby-friendly" hospital had RTF bottles with disposable nipples available and I got no push-back from our nurses about formula feeding. I got some mild crap from the hospital pediatrician, but I told her it wasn't up for debate. I had to get specific with her (I have a sexual trauma history triggered by a lack of complete autonomy over my body), but of course, your mileage will vary. I never saw a lactation consultant.

I didn't do skin-to-skin right when kiddo was born, as she was blue when she came out (umbilical cord) and it all happened so fast that she was stunned and they had to bag her a few times to get her breathing. They passed her back to me once she was breathing/I was sewn up and I got to hold and formula feed her.

My hospital didn't have a nursery available to us (boo) so I can't help you there, but I will say that I wasn't able to get much sleep anyway because of the nurses coming in to check on me every half hour or so. I didn't have any complications, they just didn't consolidate my care, so I got a separate visit for every little thing. Baby was actually the least bothersome part of my recovery, all things considered.
 
@herooftheday I FF two babies in the hospital, I would say plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Here's what I would recommend bringing:

A ton of "nursettes" those 2 oz ready to feed bottles have nipples that screw on. I would estimate 12-15 per day, you can only use them for one feed even though baby won't finish them at first. Make sure they're returnable as some baby friendly hospitals will have them, and use theirs if they do as they're pricy. You don't want to bring any bottles you'll need to prepare/wash/sterilize, that's v hard to do in a hospital room.

Bring a bunch of pacifiers if you want to use them, I like the regular old green hospital ones, and bonus they're similar to the nursettes nipples.
 
@nikki225 Absolutely second this. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. I came prepared with RTF bottles but my baby friendly hospital was surprisingly helpful with formula feeding and I didn’t need them. I did use the pacifiers that I had brought.
 
@herooftheday I didn't start out EFF, but I wanted to just say my two-cents about your questions. I gave birth at a "baby friendly hospital" and they asked me pretty much immediately how I planned on feeding baby. I told them breastfeeding (that was my plan) and they circled it on the white board and some people double checked occasionally afterward too. They didn't sound judgemental in their asking either (this highly depends on the nurse though, unfortunately).
  1. I would probably bring your own formula. Our hospital DID have formula, but if I had planned on it from the get-go, I probably would have researched which one I wanted. So many babies have problems with dairy right away (mine did), etc. They may not have the kind of formula you want. Get the premixed stuff (if you can) in the smaller bottles with a slow-flow nipple to screw on. They don't eat much AT ALL at first. For me, that was easier at first. Now she drinks a ton, so we have powder.
  2. I can't answer this question 100% because, like I said, I planned on BF. But I will say one thing. Healthcare professionals have absolutely no say in what you do. If they give you flack for saying you want to formula feed? Shut them down. You can do it nicely (my preferred method, as I am an RN but not babies in any capacity). You are making an informed choice, a reasonable choice, and a choice that many MANY other parents make. If your nurse gives you too much trouble about it, request a new one. I think most would understand and respect your decision though. When they ask you, answer in complete sentences. Like "I am not breastfeeding." Or "formula only". Don't say "umm, well, for now..." or something like that.
  3. Sorry, I can't answer that.
  4. They didn't really advertise that they had a nursery. I didn't even know they had one (despite working at the same hospital). But we had a particularly hard 2nd night with baby and my nurse asked if she could take baby to the nursery and feed her a bit of formula so we could sleep a little. I GRACIOUSLY accepted as I was exhausted and had been crying for hours. If I were to do it again (I'm NOT) I would literally ask if they could take the baby to the nursery for an hour or so. If you are comfortable with it, and need some time, by all means, take advantage of it.
Good luck, you're gonna do great!! I am so annoyed at people pressing breastfeeding so much that people feel like they are being judged for making this choice. I feel so strongly about it after my experience. You got this. ❤
 
@herooftheday 1- I gave birth in a “baby-friendly hospital” and they provided me with formula(small RTF bottles). They provided the nipples as well. I don’t remember if I asked for the formula or if it was already in the room. I was still intending to breastfeed, by the way. I didn’t breastfeed/pump at all in the hospital (it was too difficult for me) but I had no problem feeding my baby with the formula provided. You should definitely ask the hospital or your OB if you are concerned though.

2- I didn’t feel any pressure to breastfeed. The nurses were so incredible. I wanted to meet with the lactation consultant and we had to ask several times before she even came. The lactation consultant was a little intense but I just gave the baby a bottle when she left.

3- I honestly don’t remember how soon after we were able to fed. We did skin to skin directly after birth in the delivery room. Maybe it wasn’t until we were in the recovery room?

4- I gave birth at the same hospital my best friend gave birth in two weeks earlier. She texted me “have them take the baby to the nursery tonight.” At the same time the nurse was giving the baby a sponge bath and said the same thing to my husband. I was shocked because it was a “baby-friendly hospital” and didn’t even think it was an option. I asked my nurse and she said they could take him for 4 hours. The next night they said the same thing but they ended up taking him for 6. The few hours of rest was much needed. I’m so glad we asked.

All that being said- from my experience the nurses are incredible. Don’t be afraid to ask them any questions you have and I’m sure they will be happy to answer and help in anyway they can.
 
@herooftheday I didn’t EFF from the beginning, but I am also a FTM. My biggest piece of advice is to have a partner with you that can also advocate. I was really sick after delivery, and there’s no way I could have had a conversation with a nurse or doctor while I was recovering. Make sure you have a partner there - spouse, parent, friend, somebody who can be there in the moments where you might need some additional help when it comes to how you plan to feed.
 
@herooftheday Delivered at baby friendly hospital a few years ago. I just told my L&D nurse when we checked in that I was EFF and didn’t want to see a lactation consultant. It was noted in the nurses notes that stayed with me (my OB was aware and honestly couldn’t have cared less about formula vs breast). She asked if we wanted similac or enfamil as that’s what the hospital had. Noted our choice and that was that. Lactation did come to see me but only provided me with a handout on how to dry up my milk when it came in.
 
@herooftheday I just did this on Saturday. Discharged Monday evening. They were totally professional about it. I just told them in advance every OB visit to remind staff. They put it in my chart. We were provided RTF stimulac in our room. There was no issues at all. I think just speak up and let them know your choice and they will provide it.
 
@herooftheday 1 - idk if you’ve already chosen a formula, but I would bring the 2 ounce ready to feed pre-made bottles with you to the hospital (and some nipples - we used the disposable Similac kind but they fit the standard/universal ones). This is usually what (non-baby-friendly) hospitals give you anyway. We used Similac Pro-Advance, but I know Enfamil and others also make these. Just keep in mind you have to throw them out an hour after they’ve been opened/drank from, so you’ll probably waste a lot (since newborns probably won’t finish 2 ounces in an hour) but IMO it’s worth it since it’s just for a few days.

2 - I wish I had figured one out but maybe someone else will help. If I have another baby I’m going to be firm and not let myself be lectured to or manipulated.

3 - We didn’t bring our own formula so no they wouldn’t let me feed him right away. Aside from that it was the same as everyone’s skin-to-skin - they just quickly put a diaper on him and made sure he was okay, then placed him on my chest. I’m not sure exactly how long it was, but eventually they took him to weigh/measure/give eye drops (all in the room), then swaddled him and handed him to my husband.

4 - Ours literally didn’t even have a nursery for healthy babies. And because of CoVid I wasn’t allowed to leave the room, so it was absolutely awful. I was locked up with a crying baby, not allowed to feed him (my milk didn’t come in) and not able to get any rest for DAYS directly after giving birth. It sounds like yours has one though, so I would just ask if it’s an option and tell them you want a yes/no answer and not to be lectured about rooming in.

Sounds like you’re way more prepared than I was, so I’m sure your experience will be better. Also if you have a support person staying with you, it would be a good idea to have a conversation with them about how they can help advocate for you.
 
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